“Stop being so defensive!” is a common missile thrown by one partner at the other, in an effort to defend their self-image. It’s the age old game of “I’m not perfect, but neither are you!” There is always a tussle for who is the angel and who is the devil during interactions where insecure [...]
When partners are at different phases in their personal development, they are often afraid that exploring their expanding experiences might threaten the relationship. Self-Censorship becomes a valuable tool in keeping feelings locked away, so as not to rock the boat. But, there is a price to pay, and that is a relationship where each [...]
Anxiety is a fuel for action. Being anxious is unbearable, it makes you want to do something, anything that can relieve the pit in the stomach dread that something bad is imminent; and you have zero control. Anxiety is a sign of helplessness in the midst of threat. It propels you to act, to [...]
Experiencing depression that feels like a heavy weight, covered by a dark cloud Ursula a 25-year-old high school math teacher described this “heavy thing in my gut and chest, that’s always there. I’ve had it ever since I can remember. I can’t have any fun. If I try to rest or have fun, I [...]
The power of touch is profound in romantic relationships. Touch serves a multitude of functions right from the moment of birth. The sensation of skin on skin offers a feeling of safety, security, and calmness that lets you just be, take everything in and grow without having to use up your attention span and [...]
Are you being heard by your partner when you speak openly from your heart? You may get all the right outward signals that your partner is listening, giving you the impression that you have been understood. There may be a tacit agreement to a certain plan or point of view. But then, a short [...]
Thoughts of revenge karma are so sweet! Especially when you have suffered at the hands of a loved one and have to suck it up. Imagining that the perpetrator will get their comeuppance one day offers some comfort. Revenge karma involves a belief that there is a higher power that knows who is good [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
Stonewalling is a form of passive aggressive interaction where one person in a close relationship withdraws from the other, to punish you for wounding them and making them feel insecure. In order to manage the threat of that insecurity they turn the tables and attempt to shift the insecurity to the other person. It’s [...]
An emotionally abusive person doesn’t just diss you or call you names. An emotionally abusive person is much more subtle and has three specific ways that make you feel bad in return for feeling powerful and good. It’s important to have their back story to understand what made them into abusers, what the reward [...]
