Unresolved Sibling Rivalry - the narrative of the co-dependent adult couple “I hate it when Bianca makes me feel small and incompetent, but I’d feel like a terrible person if I abandoned her,” said 35-year-old digital advertising consultant, Javier. “I hate it when Javier won’t let me out of his sight and taunts me [...]
There are two ways I hear clients talk about the issue of hope. One goes something like this: “I have to keep hope alive that my partner will change, or else there is no point!” The other takes a different path: “I just feel hopeless, my partner’s never going to change, so I might [...]
Here’s how I helped David last week – Am I a pedophile becuase of a dream I had? David, a 37-year-old electrical engineer had been working on his sense of entrapment in romantic relationships for some time in his indivdual therapy with me. Recently he brought a dream to a session and it turned [...]
Poppy let out a big sigh as her 32-year-old brother Josh said that he had tried her latest suggestion of walking in nature motivation but it hadn’t helped with his fatigue and low motivation. Josh’s big sister had been trying to buoy him up for as long as she could remember, to no effect. [...]
Helplessness is scary and destabilizing. Helplessness evokes the need to be rescued, and excused from one's ineptitude. It’s seen as a negative; a sham or overdramatization. Helplessness is regarded as a sign of immaturity, neediness and over dependency in our society – except when that helplessness is sanctioned as cute and or adorable when [...]
Sexual promiscuity evokes an image of routinely sleeping around with multiple partners, and being okay with it. Sexual promiscuity makes light of emotional ties, making it easy to go from one to another. Sexual promiscuity involves getting high on new experiences while playing out fantasies that would be shameful or taboo in a committed [...]
Experiencing depression that feels like a heavy weight, covered by a dark cloud Ursula a 25-year-old high school math teacher described this “heavy thing in my gut and chest, that’s always there. I’ve had it ever since I can remember. I can’t have any fun. If I try to rest or have fun, I [...]
Are you being heard by your partner when you speak openly from your heart? You may get all the right outward signals that your partner is listening, giving you the impression that you have been understood. There may be a tacit agreement to a certain plan or point of view. But then, a short [...]
Food as a power tool is the currency of all significant relationships beginning with that between mother and infant. The dynamics of using food as a power tool plays out in future adult romantic relationships, having been wired in so early. Food as a power tool is used as soon as you are born. [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
