Three Ways a Relationship Crisis Benefits Communication, Intimacy and Self-care The very term relationship crisis makes your heart stop, your blood pressure sky rocket and a flood of adrenalin preparing you for fight/flight/or freeze. It’s unpleasant and threatening. Most of us want to avoid a relationship crisis and do everything we can to avoid [...]
Protecting Your Child From Unintentional Overdosing Is someone dear to you, like your teenage child, a niece or nephew or a sibling taking prescribed medication for chronic pain or anxiety and depression? Does it ever cross you mind that there is a danger of overdosing? A report in the New York Times from November [...]
Three Crucial Ways to Feeling Loved in a Pandemic Feeling loved in a pandemic is problematic when there is more pressure on partners to make each feel valued when the world feels so unpredictable. Scared that her family may become infected with Covid-19, Claire a 35-year-old optometrist was extra careful about cleaning everything before it [...]
Marriage Conflict Escalates in Times of Corona Virus Lock Down Marriage conflict exists in the best of times, but during the enforced ‘stay at home’ orders, couples are thrown into a place of uncertainty that neither can control, nor reassure one and other about. The threat of getting sick, passing it on to family if [...]
Feeling trapped in a loveless marriage is unbearable. But it doesn't have to mean a life time of suffering if you discover the profound beliefs that keep you trapped and prevent you from being yourself and worthy of love in the marriage.
How to Deal with a Constantly Critical Partner The Constantly Critical Partner - a Mixture of Magnetism and Recoil How many times a day do you feel like escaping your constantly critical partner? Remember anticipating that nagging voice of your constantly critical partner on the way home, making you put your wall up before you get [...]
Marriage Stress and Inflammation In the Body Stress in her marriage was a regular burden for twenty-nine-year old homemaker Lexi. Arguing with Finn, her thirty-two-year old IT consultant husband about household chores was a daily occurrence. She wanted him to help her and take on more duties, while he felt that he wasn’t appreciated for [...]
Emotional Safety is Key in Relationships Emotional Safety Quiz Do find yourself holding back, choosing your words carefully, and or shutting your feelings down because you fear recrimination? Then you probably have little sense of emotional safety. Maybe you agree with your significant other more often than not, because it's not emotionally safe to [...]
Dependency in relationships is a necessary feature of bonding and attachment. One of the most important parts of a strong and lasting romantic connection between couples is the creation of a healthy and mature dependency in the relationship. Fear of Being Used Prevents Mature Dependency in Relationships Many individuals and couples come to therapy because they are struggling with an immature dependency which makes the relationship unstable and scary. For example Jose a client in his thirties complained of a lack of closeness between him and his wife. He longed for her to take care of him when he was down, ill or conflicted about something. But each time she reached out he would refuse her offers, fearful of having to pay the price of it later. He anticipated being made to do extra child-care duties, or have his current difficulty used against him in the future. Any care that came from his wife became dangerous rather than comforting. Better to protect himself by denying his natural dependency feelings that would have soothed him and brought the care he yearned for. Jose was stuck in an immature unsatisfying fearful dependency, that made it impossible for the couple to express freely.
Are you startled by the idea of freedom in relationships? Does your heart start pounding with fear or excitement? Giving your partner freedom in a relationship is a critical feature of a successful, stable and fulfilling connection. If you are scared by the idea, then you may be imagining the insecurity of having an ‘open marriage’ where you can have other sexual partners, affairs or abdicating and abandoning duties and obligations. If on the other hand you reacted to the idea of freedom in relationships with a flutter of excitement then you are likely to be imagining exploring interests, values and views that reflect your personal growth and maturity. You may also be soothed by the idea of not having to spend all your focus and attention on taking care of your partner’s needs by sacrificing your own.