There are two ways I hear clients talk about the issue of hope. One goes something like this: “I have to keep hope alive that my partner will change, or else there is no point!” The other takes a different path: “I just feel hopeless, my partner’s never going to change, so I might [...]
How I helped My Client – Showing How She Set Herself Up to Deny Her Deepest Wish Susan a 38-year-old Dental Hygienist had always felt that she got a raw deal in life. Unloved and neglected by her parents, she was now rejected by her partner Mick when she made overtures for closeness, affection, [...]
“Stop being so defensive!” is a common missile thrown by one partner at the other, in an effort to defend their self-image. It’s the age old game of “I’m not perfect, but neither are you!” There is always a tussle for who is the angel and who is the devil during interactions where insecure [...]
Anxiety is a fuel for action. Being anxious is unbearable, it makes you want to do something, anything that can relieve the pit in the stomach dread that something bad is imminent; and you have zero control. Anxiety is a sign of helplessness in the midst of threat. It propels you to act, to [...]
Stonewalling is a form of passive aggressive interaction where one person in a close relationship withdraws from the other, to punish you for wounding them and making them feel insecure. In order to manage the threat of that insecurity they turn the tables and attempt to shift the insecurity to the other person. It’s [...]
Three Ways to Make Bad Feelings Less Sticky Every client I have worked with shares their despair that their bad feelings won’t go away, and that nothing they do makes it better. Getting distracted for a while by being busy; sleeping; vegetating in front of a screen or immersing yourself in a job doesn’t [...]
Spotting Insecurities and Addressing Them to Strengthen Relationships Spotting insecurities in yourself can be scary and shameful as a client recently told me about being stuck in a relationship where he felt demeaned and devalued. He wanted to learn how to become more secure inside of himself to withstand the put downs, let downs [...]
Five Ways to Mange Post-pandemic Anxiety About Changes in Family Life A great deal of attention is being focused on adjusting to a post-pandemic world as vaccinations make it safer to do so. A bunch of recent articles talk about post-pandemic social anxiety of being in crowded places and having rusty social skills in general. [...]
Covid-19 related Anxiety and Depression Covid-19 related anxiety and depression rates show a 29% increase from pre-pandemic times a year ago Are you part of the 1 in 3 people experiencing anxiety and depression during this pandemic? Perhaps you feel irritated more than you used to, helpless in a situation where you have no control. [...]
Are You Feeling Anxious for No Reason? Your job is going well, and things are fine with your significant other. You don’t have any conflicts with friends or colleagues. There are no financial problems weighing on your apparently full plate. Yet you are feeling anxious for no reason! Feeling anxious for no reason seems weird. [...]
