Surviving separations may conjure up major milestones like the loss of a loved one who has moved away or passed on – in other words, a physical separation. But it’s usually the micro separations from the moment one is born that have massive emotional impacts and determine how well you will adapt to and [...]
Hate Being the Bogey Man? Then Give up These Four Things! Being cast as the bogey man is hurtful, crushing and upends your sense of reality. Your self-esteem and sense of value is threatened. Being the bogey man in your romantic relationship can wear you down into a beleaguered timid powerless victim OR make [...]
Three Ways to Make Bad Feelings Less Sticky Every client I have worked with shares their despair that their bad feelings won’t go away, and that nothing they do makes it better. Getting distracted for a while by being busy; sleeping; vegetating in front of a screen or immersing yourself in a job doesn’t [...]
How Rumination and Insecurity Become Team Players in Romantic Breakups Rumination and insecurity go hand in hand. Insecurity is a destabilizing experience. It takes the ground from under you. There is nothing to hold onto because you feel lost, wobbly and untethered. Along comes a rope to cling to – a mental strategy [...]
Spotting Insecurities and Addressing Them to Strengthen Relationships Spotting insecurities in yourself can be scary and shameful as a client recently told me about being stuck in a relationship where he felt demeaned and devalued. He wanted to learn how to become more secure inside of himself to withstand the put downs, let downs [...]
Feeling Depressed? What are the Signs of Depression? Signs of depression seem obvious at first, right? – you feel low, or down; lack energy and motivation, and also ‘don’t care.’ But are these actual signs of depression or just reactions to life not going your way? How do you know whether you are just feeling [...]
Seven Ways to Say, “I love you,” and Six Ways That Fail. “I love you!” says your partner as they go off to get on with their day. “Love you” says your mom as you end a phone conversation and you say it back. Do you feel loved in that moment? Are you experiencing loving [...]
How Worrying and Boredom Team up to Keep You Stuck Worrying and boredom are two of the most complaints I hear from clients, but more pronounced during the pandemic lockdown. Here are some of the remarks regarding worrying and boredom that have stuck with me: “I worry that my partner will make me the bad [...]
Loneliness Anxiety Loneliness anxiety is one of the hardest things to bear Loneliness anxiety is a wounding and scary feeling. Loneliness anxiety is an existential threat. It’s a sense of not existing in the mind of your loved ones – as if you don’t exist; that you don’t have a place on the radar of [...]
Marriage After Infidelity You are stunned, disoriented and your whole world has shattered. You can’t believe that your partner cheated on you and lied to you about the affair. You want to throw the cheater into an incinerator together with the disgust, betrayal and rejection. But there is another part of you that wonders if [...]
