How to Avoid Burdening Children With Family Conflict Most parents make conscious decisions to avoid burdening their children with stuff from the adult world. Most parents try hard to protect their children from being negatively influenced and or scarred by things in the outside world including social media, porn, drugs, bullies, inappropriate videos and [...]
Are You Feeling Anxious for No Reason? Your job is going well, and things are fine with your significant other. You don’t have any conflicts with friends or colleagues. There are no financial problems weighing on your apparently full plate. Yet you are feeling anxious for no reason! Feeling anxious for no reason seems weird. [...]
Personal Empowerment is Crucial for Comfortable Relationships Personal empowerment means you are in charge of your life; your choices, the outcomes and consequences. Without a well-developed sense of personal empowerment, you give other people power over you; allow them to make decisions for you and then get angry and resentful that your needs and feelings [...]
What to do if Your Child Steals Your child steals! That’s what you just found out from the teacher and principal at the school. Your head spins, you can barely breathe. The words, “your child steals” is ringing in your ears and making your dizzy. Then the words, “your child steals” turns to anger and [...]
Is it Okay to Fight in Front of the Children? How often have you heard the saying that you shouldn’t fight in front of the children? You’ve probably admonished your partner for getting into a fight in front of the kids. Maybe you have read parenting books that make fighting in front of the kids [...]
Is it Okay to Fight in Front of the Kids? How often have you heard the saying that you shouldn’t fight in front of the kids? You’ve probably said that you shouldn’t fight in front of the kids to your spouse when things have gotten heated up. Maybe you have read parenting books that tell [...]
Have you been the one to take care of family when others bailed out or abandoned you? Are you the one that keeps family members together at the expense of your own life? Perhaps you felt righteous, strong and saintly doing what needed to be done when everyone else behaved irresponsibly. .Over time the anger turns to rage, and the rage burns you. It makes you want to inflict on your family members what you went through. Suppressed anger makes you exhausted, stressed and unable to concentrate on your work or your routine tasks. Buried anger affects your sleep and your eating patterns. You can no longer live trapped and almost strangled to death by the anger that you have stored up against your family members you use you, abuse your sense of responsibiity and take advantage of your saintliness.
Angela and Josh a newly married couple were at logger heads about Angela's mother telling him how to treat and take care of her daughter. She kept calling and texting him about Angela's food needs, her anxieties, her need to get pregnant and the need for child to be a son. Josh tried to talk to Angela about his distaste for being told how to be a good husband by his mother-in-law, but Angela secretly smiled. She was thrilled that her mother was on Josh's back to do the 'right thing' by her, because she was too scared to do it herself. She loved that her mother was her champion, and whipping up her husband to do the same. What Angela didn't appreciate was that Josh was feeling emasculated and furious. He was angry about the temerity of his mother-in-law to tell him what to do, as if he knew nothing of his wife's needs. He was fuming that he wasn't given a chance to find his feet in his new role as a husband., But most of all he was livid that his wife enjoyed seening him as a puppet controlled by her mother.
Trudy a twenty-nine year old local newspaper reporter and Max a thirty-three year old limousine company owner had endless fights about who was doing the lion’s share of parenting their two children. They argued about what to do, how to do it, when to do it and who should take the blame when things went wrong. Trudy’s sister Sophie got mad at Max when she saw her sister miserable and at a loss. Sophie rescued Trudy countless times, and usually felt heroic in the process.
Do you feel like your family members don't care about you the way you care about them? Are you always wondering whether you matter to your spouse, your mother, your father or a sibling? Then you must be in a constant state of anger and sadness that you do everything you can to prove your love and commitment but are left hanging when it comes to getting the same back from them. Perhaps you hear complaints about the caring not being sufficient or good enough during family conflicts.