Are You Feeling Forgotten, Frustrated Or Lonely In Love?
Are you stuck in a cycle of bad dates or brief relationships? Do you find it hard to meet anyone you consider dateable? Have you wondered why everyone else seems to be in a successful partnership and question if there is something flawed or inherently wrong with you? Perhaps you are a successful woman who seems to only attract men who are disorganized, flaky or unstable. Or maybe you are a sensitive, available man who dotes on his partners, only to be rejected and abandoned. It might be that while you think you want a partner or are longing for companionship, you also fear becoming trapped. Are you starting to worry that you’re too old and it’s too late to find a suitable partner? Do you wish you could understand why love, intimacy and dating have been so challenging for you? Would you like to develop the self-awareness, insight and perspective needed to feel healthy and whole as you create a fulfilling relationship?
It can be a lonely, frustrating and depressing experience to remain single when you desperately want to be in a loving and supportive relationship. You might wonder what’s wrong with you and why everyone else seems to be living the romantic dream. It may be that you feel confused and insecure no matter what you do.
Dating Issues Are Extremely Common In Our Culture
Whether you’re divorced, never married, unable to find a date or in a looping cycle of relationships that go nowhere, it’s not uncommon to struggle to navigate the dating scene. This frustration can be even more pronounced in cities like Los Angeles, where it can be difficult to meet people; engage in genuine, meaningful conversation; and escape the image-driven culture. And, while you may want to—and it can be easy to—blame LA’s dating scene for your unluckiness in love, struggles with dating often stem from issues deeper than city limits.
Most of us learn how to be in an intimate relationship from what we saw modeled while growing up. And, unfortunately, many people didn’t have healthy role models. In fact, if your parents had relationship problems, there’s a higher likelihood that you will as well. While you may be longing for a deep connection, you may also be terrified to repeat the same mistakes of your parents. You might fear intimacy, commitment or betrayal yet also fear being alone, and that time is not on your side. And, the clincher is that while you likely want something very different than what your parents modeled, we often unconsciously pick partners with similar traits to a parent or recreate a similar relationship dynamic. We end up in relationships that feel similar to our parents’ because that’s what feels normal.
The fears you have of being disappointed may keep you from taking healthy relationship risks. For example, if you see yourself as physically unattractive or having little to offer, shutting down is an effective way of ensuring that you don’t get close to anyone, which protects your from intimate relationships. Or, your fear of being trapped in an unfulfilling relationship may propel you to have several dating and/or sexual partners at once to ensure that if one goes wrong you have others to fall back on. This also ensures that no one can get serious with and trap you. While on the surface, these dating strategies might feel safe and even exciting, underneath it all, you might still feel anxious, deeply lonely and unfulfilled.
The good news is that you don’t have to continue to struggle with relationship and dating issues. An experienced, insightful and compassionate relationship therapist can help you get to the root cause of your dating patterns and relationship fears and develop a healthy relationship with the person who matters most—you.
Dating Counseling Can Provide You With Support, Guidance, Insight And A Confident Path Forward
Dating counseling can be highly effective, especially if you’ve been struggling with dating and relationship issues for some time. And, it can be essential if you’ve been blaming the dating pool, the blindness of others who don’t see how special you are or the place you live. You may be angry that life is treating you unfairly when you feel that you have something good to offer and that no one sees or values it. Alternatively, you may feel that all the good people have been taken and you, despite being a good catch, is left on the shelf.
Rather than continue to feel that life has dealt you a bad hand or that there are no good men or women out there, you can be proactive and get in touch with what’s really going on within you. Through the dating coaching and counseling process, you can uncover the internal conflicts that are keeping you disconnected from creating a meaningful and sustainable partnership.
In practical, understanding dating counseling sessions, I can help you look at your relationship fears and fantasies. In reality, no one is perfect, and as long as you hold on to the notion that there is someone who will satisfy your every desire and need, you will continue finding faults in potential partners or dismiss relationships that could work. Through a compassionate exploration of your past and your patterns, we can identify and address issues that stem from childhood and/or past relationships, such as trust, control or abandonment issues. Once you’re in touch with these core feelings, it becomes easier to identify sabotaging patterns and shift to a higher level of self-awareness. Rather than stay trapped in the past, you can feel empowered to work on your particular issues so you can be available for a relationship with someone who is also available to you.
Through deep personal exploration, you can develop a healthy and genuine perspective on romantic relationships. You may need to grieve for lost wishes, which I will honor and validate, before you can step into a space that is more realistic and supportive of you finding an emotionally available partner. And, you can come to an understanding that, regardless of past experiences, not everyone will hurt you. There are other caring single people out there looking for the same kind of romantic experience that you are.
Regardless of your relationship patterns or dating history, you can come to a more trusting place and become more receptive to fostering a healthy connection with another person. With the guidance and support of an experienced and insightful dating coach and counselor, you can make meaningful changes. When you’re no longer afraid or looking for something or someone idealistic, amazing opportunities for connection open up, allowing you to enjoy more fulfillment, love and fun in your life.
You still may have questions or concerns about dating counseling…
I’ve tried everything from online dating sites to dating coaches and nothing has helped. How will working with you be different?
In sessions, you and I will look closely at your particular relationship issues, upsets and fears. Until you deal with what’s blocking you from happiness, it’s likely that you will remain stuck in disappointing experiences, getting upset that time is passing you by and you are not getting a fair shake.
Can dating counseling really help me find the right partner?
Throughout the dating counseling process, you can examine your idea of what and who is right for you and figure out why that is so hard for you to find. It might be that you are looking for a set of ideal traits rather than for a whole person, flaws and all. Or, it might be that what you’re looking for is right in front of you, and you’re just not seeing it. Essentially, dating counseling can help humanize the dating scene and your personal experience within it. You can address past issues so you don’t keep repeating the same patterns or making the same dating mistakes. Once you better understand and deal with your own emotional landscape, it becomes possible to attract and connect with another person on a meaningful level.
Why is counseling more useful than taking a relationship course?
Dating courses or classes are modeled on a one-size-fits-all platform. It’s impossible for you to have your particular history and emotional issues addressed in that type of scenario. Adopting a formulaic approach comes off as false and the people you date will see through it. You will end up more disappointed and scared that there really is something wrong with you. Alternatively, in relationship counseling, I provide you with individualized guidance and support so that you can feel confident that you, just as you are, will be attractive and wanted. We take the time to focus specifically on you and your fears, patterns, desires and goals. You get a customized experience that can help you reach a new level of personal awareness and cultivate the insight, confidence and motivation needed to affect meaningful change in your life.
You Can Cultivate Love, Joy And Connection In Your Life
I invite you to take the next step and call my office at 310-985-2491 to schedule an initial appointment. I offer in person therapy in Los Angeles, California and global relationship coaching. Your relationship happiness is an investment that matters.