Experiencing depression that feels like a heavy weight, covered by a dark cloud Ursula a 25-year-old high school math teacher described this “heavy thing in my gut and chest, that’s always there. I’ve had it ever since I can remember. I can’t have any fun. If I try to rest or have fun, I [...]
Are you being heard by your partner when you speak openly from your heart? You may get all the right outward signals that your partner is listening, giving you the impression that you have been understood. There may be a tacit agreement to a certain plan or point of view. But then, a short [...]
Food as a power tool is the currency of all significant relationships beginning with that between mother and infant. The dynamics of using food as a power tool plays out in future adult romantic relationships, having been wired in so early. Food as a power tool is used as soon as you are born. [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
Stonewalling is a form of passive aggressive interaction where one person in a close relationship withdraws from the other, to punish you for wounding them and making them feel insecure. In order to manage the threat of that insecurity they turn the tables and attempt to shift the insecurity to the other person. It’s [...]
Letting go aint easy, as the song say. Isn’t it infuriating when a close friend, or family member tells you to “get over it,” or “just let go.” It’s a double whammy – not only are you already feeling unstable through a wound, but the intolerance of loved ones makes you feel even less [...]
“Why am I staying in an unhappy relationship?” is a question many of my patient’s ask themselves out loud when their latest interactions make them feel hopeless, demeaned, and destroyed. Staying in an unhappy relationship has benefits, keeping you drawn in by a magnetic force. That force is produced by unfinished phases of personal [...]
Making a new you out of the old you in the new year often involves thinking about a fresh version of yourself. Sometimes it’s about shaking off parts of you that you dislike or feel ashamed about. Other times it’s about acquiring a new outlook and becoming your ideal self. Whether you lose or [...]
Being honest with your partner seems like a no brainer. Almost everyone believes it’s a given when they fall in love and set up home and family with their chosen one. But most people think being honest with your partner is about accounting for your whereabouts, money issues, childcare, family obligations, life-style and so [...]
Spotting Insecurities and Addressing Them to Strengthen Relationships Spotting insecurities in yourself can be scary and shameful as a client recently told me about being stuck in a relationship where he felt demeaned and devalued. He wanted to learn how to become more secure inside of himself to withstand the put downs, let downs [...]
