Three Ways to Deal With Spiteful Actions Against You How do you deal with spiteful actions against you It’s a stinging experience when your partner watches you squirm when they just happen to let you down, or when you’ve worked hard on something that then falls through. Or what about when you are struggling [...]
Five Ways to Recognize a Toxic Family Toxic families are not that unusual. If you were brought up in a toxic family you probably don’t know it. Your experience of what everyone else sees as a toxic family seems normal to you, because you know nothing else. Part of growing up in a toxic family [...]
Is it Okay to Fight in Front of the Children? How often have you heard the saying that you shouldn’t fight in front of the children? You’ve probably admonished your partner for getting into a fight in front of the kids. Maybe you have read parenting books that make fighting in front of the kids [...]
Is it Okay to Fight in Front of the Kids? How often have you heard the saying that you shouldn’t fight in front of the kids? You’ve probably said that you shouldn’t fight in front of the kids to your spouse when things have gotten heated up. Maybe you have read parenting books that tell [...]
Causes of Sudden Depression Have you been hit by sudden depression? Does it feel like you have been weighed down with a heavy shroud that clouds your judgment and makes everything around you unpalatable? Perhaps you feel sad or tearful for no apparent reason. That is a sign of sudden depression. If everything seems like [...]
Grief is Vital For Healthy Relationships Grief hits us all and it's important that we feel it Grief can come up on you slowly watching a magical romantic connection fade as you become aware that your partner has a cruel streak – or it can come thick and fast when your brand new loved car [...]
Why Can't I Let Go of My Ex? “Why can’t I let go of my ex?” you ask, gritting your teeth with anger as you deal with another wave of exasperation when there is a clash. This is a common problem and one that often brings people into therapy. They feel that they can’t get [...]
Emotional Safety is Key in Relationships Emotional Safety Quiz Do find yourself holding back, choosing your words carefully, and or shutting your feelings down because you fear recrimination? Then you probably have little sense of emotional safety. Maybe you agree with your significant other more often than not, because it's not emotionally safe to [...]
Building Trust and Intimacy Are you regularly building trust and intimacy in your relationship? If you have a lot of conflict, then you haven't built enough trust and intimacy. If you are not relaxed with each other, you have a way to go to build trust and intimacy in sufficient proportions to let go [...]
Dependency in relationships is a necessary feature of bonding and attachment. One of the most important parts of a strong and lasting romantic connection between couples is the creation of a healthy and mature dependency in the relationship. Fear of Being Used Prevents Mature Dependency in Relationships Many individuals and couples come to therapy because they are struggling with an immature dependency which makes the relationship unstable and scary. For example Jose a client in his thirties complained of a lack of closeness between him and his wife. He longed for her to take care of him when he was down, ill or conflicted about something. But each time she reached out he would refuse her offers, fearful of having to pay the price of it later. He anticipated being made to do extra child-care duties, or have his current difficulty used against him in the future. Any care that came from his wife became dangerous rather than comforting. Better to protect himself by denying his natural dependency feelings that would have soothed him and brought the care he yearned for. Jose was stuck in an immature unsatisfying fearful dependency, that made it impossible for the couple to express freely.
