“Stop being so defensive!” is a common missile thrown by one partner at the other, in an effort to defend their self-image. It’s the age old game of “I’m not perfect, but neither are you!” There is always a tussle for who is the angel and who is the devil during interactions where insecure [...]
Relationship rituals form the glue for connection, comfort, predictability, stability, and safety in adult romantic relationships. But when partners don’t place the same importance and meaning on a ritual there is a mismatch. The mismatch of relationship rituals is a significant contributor to cracks in the connection between couples. The lack of fit when [...]
Food as a power tool is the currency of all significant relationships beginning with that between mother and infant. The dynamics of using food as a power tool plays out in future adult romantic relationships, having been wired in so early. Food as a power tool is used as soon as you are born. [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
Do you ever wonder if you are fallen out of love with your romantic partner? Maybe it crosses your mind when you feel unseen, unheard, or ignored. Nagging doubts creep up about whether you partner is lovable or worth loving when you feel as if you are irrelevant, or non-existent. Perhaps you wonder if [...]
“I’m waiting for my partner to change” is a phrase that appears to come up over and over again in my work with individuals who are struggling in relationships that are sometimes safe and satisfying, but at other times devaluing, diminishing and dismissive. Waiting for a partner to change – when does it start? [...]
Three Ways a Relationship Crisis Benefits Communication, Intimacy and Self-care The very term relationship crisis makes your heart stop, your blood pressure sky rocket and a flood of adrenalin preparing you for fight/flight/or freeze. It’s unpleasant and threatening. Most of us want to avoid a relationship crisis and do everything we can to avoid [...]
Protecting Your Child From Unintentional Overdosing Is someone dear to you, like your teenage child, a niece or nephew or a sibling taking prescribed medication for chronic pain or anxiety and depression? Does it ever cross you mind that there is a danger of overdosing? A report in the New York Times from November [...]
Three Crucial Ways to Feeling Loved in a Pandemic Feeling loved in a pandemic is problematic when there is more pressure on partners to make each feel valued when the world feels so unpredictable. Scared that her family may become infected with Covid-19, Claire a 35-year-old optometrist was extra careful about cleaning everything before it [...]
Marriage Conflict Escalates in Times of Corona Virus Lock Down Marriage conflict exists in the best of times, but during the enforced ‘stay at home’ orders, couples are thrown into a place of uncertainty that neither can control, nor reassure one and other about. The threat of getting sick, passing it on to family if [...]
