The power of touch is profound in romantic relationships. Touch serves a multitude of functions right from the moment of birth. The sensation of skin on skin offers a feeling of safety, security, and calmness that lets you just be, take everything in and grow without having to use up your attention span and [...]
Are you being heard by your partner when you speak openly from your heart? You may get all the right outward signals that your partner is listening, giving you the impression that you have been understood. There may be a tacit agreement to a certain plan or point of view. But then, a short [...]
Tired of the same old argument with your partner, despite trying hard to keep the focus on the present moment? Perhaps you’re fed up with how easily the same old argument creeps in and leads to the same wounds being poked at. You wonder if it’s worth bothering trying to make your point, because [...]
Giving up on important aspects in your relationship is deflating. Giving into your partner feels as if you are denying important parts of yourself in favor of your romantic relationship. Giving up on something you want, or giving up on getting through to your partner is a sense of defeat and or disempowerment. Giving [...]
Relationship rituals form the glue for connection, comfort, predictability, stability, and safety in adult romantic relationships. But when partners don’t place the same importance and meaning on a ritual there is a mismatch. The mismatch of relationship rituals is a significant contributor to cracks in the connection between couples. The lack of fit when [...]
Food as a power tool is the currency of all significant relationships beginning with that between mother and infant. The dynamics of using food as a power tool plays out in future adult romantic relationships, having been wired in so early. Food as a power tool is used as soon as you are born. [...]
Thoughts of revenge karma are so sweet! Especially when you have suffered at the hands of a loved one and have to suck it up. Imagining that the perpetrator will get their comeuppance one day offers some comfort. Revenge karma involves a belief that there is a higher power that knows who is good [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
Stonewalling is a form of passive aggressive interaction where one person in a close relationship withdraws from the other, to punish you for wounding them and making them feel insecure. In order to manage the threat of that insecurity they turn the tables and attempt to shift the insecurity to the other person. It’s [...]
An emotionally abusive person doesn’t just diss you or call you names. An emotionally abusive person is much more subtle and has three specific ways that make you feel bad in return for feeling powerful and good. It’s important to have their back story to understand what made them into abusers, what the reward [...]
