Relationship rituals form the glue for connection, comfort, predictability, stability, and safety in adult romantic relationships. But when partners don’t place the same importance and meaning on a ritual there is a mismatch. The mismatch of relationship rituals is a significant contributor to cracks in the connection between couples. The lack of fit when [...]
Food as a power tool is the currency of all significant relationships beginning with that between mother and infant. The dynamics of using food as a power tool plays out in future adult romantic relationships, having been wired in so early. Food as a power tool is used as soon as you are born. [...]
Thoughts of revenge karma are so sweet! Especially when you have suffered at the hands of a loved one and have to suck it up. Imagining that the perpetrator will get their comeuppance one day offers some comfort. Revenge karma involves a belief that there is a higher power that knows who is good [...]
Both men and women often complain about having an emotionally unavailable partner. But emotional availability is a two-way street. When one person is emotionally available, the other person may not be receptive. One may be full up with internal conflicts, and unable to register their partner’s need for emotional availability. The other may have [...]
Stonewalling is a form of passive aggressive interaction where one person in a close relationship withdraws from the other, to punish you for wounding them and making them feel insecure. In order to manage the threat of that insecurity they turn the tables and attempt to shift the insecurity to the other person. It’s [...]
An emotionally abusive person doesn’t just diss you or call you names. An emotionally abusive person is much more subtle and has three specific ways that make you feel bad in return for feeling powerful and good. It’s important to have their back story to understand what made them into abusers, what the reward [...]
Do you ever wonder if you are fallen out of love with your romantic partner? Maybe it crosses your mind when you feel unseen, unheard, or ignored. Nagging doubts creep up about whether you partner is lovable or worth loving when you feel as if you are irrelevant, or non-existent. Perhaps you wonder if [...]
Perimenopausal rage is real, straining and threatening the relationship between partners. Perimenopausal rage is a common symptom on the journey to full menopause, (between 3-4 years), as levels of estrogen drop and propel changes in systems that control dopamine, and serotonin, making women more likely to have mood swings. Stress hormones such as cortisol [...]
Letting go aint easy, as the song say. Isn’t it infuriating when a close friend, or family member tells you to “get over it,” or “just let go.” It’s a double whammy – not only are you already feeling unstable through a wound, but the intolerance of loved ones makes you feel even less [...]
Mothering preteens is both exasperating and bitter sweet as your cute kids navigate the world with their own minds and developing bodies. Preteens fluctuate between being clingy and needy to pulling away from a leash that feels both safe yet restrictive. Mothering preteens is awkward, and unstable, shifting mothering duties from care taking to [...]
