Home/Tag:marital counseling

Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you have a rule about not being needy in your relationship then you are likely to set up tension, cause arguments and wear the relationship down to the bone. That's what happened to one man who ended up frustrating his wife to such an extent that she avoided being in the same room as him when they were at home. Learn how this one very common rule about pretending not to be needy drove the couple to marriage counseling and finally got discovered, unraveled and discarded for more flexible and joint rules that reunited the couple.

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How To Avoid Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive

By |2016-12-29T19:56:25+00:00August 14th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

Are you bothered when your partner blames you for being unresponsive to something they said or did, yet shuts you down the minute you try to share your feelings? You must be intensely frustrated caught in this catch twenty-two trap. That’s exactly how thirty-two year sales director Ian felt when his twenty-nine year old partner Chantal, an office manager, poked and prodded him about whether he enjoyed the elaborate celebration dinner she had thrown for him when he got his recent job promotion. He had been surprised and touched and thanked her during the party. But she kept on fishing for more, wanting to know every detail of his experience after all the guests had gone and well into the next week. She would bring it up out of nowhere irrespective of what they were doing or talking about. If he didn’t jump up and down with joy and praise her for her thoughtfulness she accused him of not liking the party and just pretending to enjoy himself. If he reassured her that it made him happy she countered with the suggestion that he was just saying it to be polite.

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Are your personal goals likely to save your marriage or break it up?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you feel that your partner is always putting you down and being superior? Do you want to outdo them at their game? Are you always in competition with one another about who is the more moral, the greater lover, the better at remembering the important things in life? Then your goals may be misaligned, causing stress and risk to your marriage. This video shows you how to detect the motivation behind your goals so that you can evaluate whether your marriage is at risk.

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Continual Separating and reuniting doesn’t have to threaten your relationship!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

The way in which you greet and receive your partner after a separation be it momentary for days longs says everything about the health and security of your relationship. Even the shortest of separations from loved ones can cause stress before and after the actual parting. Whether you and your partner separate and reunite every day one of you leaves the other to go to work, to make a phone call to someone else or have to make longer trips that involve a chunk of time away from one another, the disturbance in your emotional state can make reunions uncomfortable. The more insecure you are in your relationship the more uncomfortable and stressful the reunion which may take several minutes, hours, days or weeks to be fully realized.

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Managing co-dependency in a marriage – the second five steps in learning to support rather than rescue

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00March 26th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

Despite the relief that Craig felt when his wife Sophie did his bookkeeping for his landscape business he was frequently choked with shame. The conflict made him snappy and uninterested in spending leisure time with her. He dreaded going to bed at night because he didn’t want to face his impotence when he forced himself to try and make love to her. He was trapped in a cycle of neediness, shame and anger at the very person whom he relied upon to keep his business afloat. The more ashamed he got the less he wanted to be with Sophie. She got angry at him and accused him of being ungrateful and irresponsible. Of course the criticisms added more shame onto Craig’s pile. He hated his wife for making him so dependent on her. The lethal combination of shame and hate made him aggressive towards her. He wanted his power back, but being in a co-dependent relationship made it impossible. He just melted with fear when he tried to stand up for himself

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Breaking Up Doesn’t Have To Be so Hard To Do!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:19+00:00January 25th, 2013|Breakups and Separation, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you want to break up with your partner but just can't bring yourself to do it? Are you wracked with guilt every time you think of telling your partner that you want to end the relationship? Do you feel ungrateful and selfish because your partner is an angel and hasn't done anything to deserve being rejected? What you want most of all is for your partner to be the one to walk away so you don't have to be the bad guy. But that doesn't happen, so you start being a little bad here and there hoping your partner will stop loving you and break up the relationship. This cycle of silent and undercover attempts at breaking up can go on for ever and take up a lot of energy. You can get depressed and turn into the exact evil monster that you were trying to avoid, just to set yourself free. Mandy and Chris were both trapped in the same spot.

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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

By |2017-09-11T18:47:25+00:00January 15th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Gina a twenty-seven year old recent law school graduate was bubbling about her acceptance as an intern at a prestigious law firm. She jumped into the car when her thirty-two year old boyfriend Jake, vice-principle at an elementary school came to pick her up. She started talking excitedly before she strapped her seat belt on, but was gutted when she was abruptly cut off in mid- sentence. Three sentences in Jake sighed, avoided eye contact and told her he had to concentrate on the traffic.

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Expressing Hurt Saves Relationships While Anger Causes Relationship Breakups

By |2017-09-11T17:21:51+00:00January 9th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

Two years into their engagement, twenty-nine year old medical billings specialist Rachel vowed to leave her thirty-two year old fiancé Brian, a banker and property developer – for the millionth time. She was full of anger and bitterness about Brian’s willingness to help his sister manage her financial problems while making excuses about planning their long awaited vacation to Italy. Brian felt torn between Rachel and members of his family. He wanted to share himself with them all, but it was becoming increasingly difficult to do so without alienating one or other of his loved ones. He liked the fact that he was wanted and needed but he hated being put on the spot over and over again to choose between them and live with the discomfort of divided loyalties.

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Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling

By |2017-09-13T20:40:35+00:00January 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

If you are considering couples counseling then you must have tried hard to solve your relationship problems by yourself and not got the results you hoped for. Perhaps you have threatened your partner with couples counseling when it seemed that there was no other option but separation or divorce. Many couples come into therapy to get validated and feel that their partner is the one that needs the counseling. Couples therapy rarely works when there is an agenda of blame. However there is an even more important reason why couples therapy may not work. It is when the discussion pieces in the counseling session isn't maintained from one meeting to the next because the couple don't realize the importance of practicing the skills of staying connected in a positive way outside of the therapist's consulting rooms.

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Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner’s Support

By |2017-09-11T16:26:35+00:00December 12th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, Uncategorized|

On top of a grueling day at work dealing with a staff shortage and patient crises, thirty-three year old physician Phil felt another load heaped on him as soon as he got home. His twenty-eight year old wife Melissa demanded he take care of the dogs and bring in the heavy shopping items while she got ready for her night shift at the hospital where she was acting charge nurse. He had driven home with the weighty concern that he had given a patient the wrong medication in all the chaos of the day. His anxiety levels shot up as he started to imagine being sued, let go from the clinic and having his medical license revoked. He felt like a slave to the pressure put on him by Melissa’s trivial needs compared to the terror he was experiencing in relation to the seriousness of his situation.

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