Is it getting harder and harder for you to talk to your spouse? Are your moments together filled so much tension that you can't even sit next to your partner any more? Does it feel like you just can't do anything to save your marriage? You can save your marriage if you get past your fear of communicating what you feel without anticipating being dissed.
Late on Saturday night thirty year old beautician Elaine sat alone in her apartment after a terrible fight with her thirty-two year boyfriend Dave. She was horrified when Dave lost his cool and accused her of disrespecting him by keeping her whereabouts a secret. Trying to defend herself led to a big fight which ended when she told him to leave. Two hours later Dave was frantic with worry.
Have you ever wanted to say “no” to your partner when they wanted to go away on a trip with friends or family but didn’t because you wanted to feel unselfish? Then you have experienced the tension of conflicting motives, just like twenty-six year old Dianne did when her husband Neil had to leave her and take care of family business. She faced a tug of war between her secret wish for him to pick her over everyone else, and her overt desire to put his needs before her own by appearing supportive and encouraging.
Do you get upset when your loved one wants to spend time with a friend or a relative? Does it feel like you are being discarded or abandoned? Are you also angry and ashamed of your feelings since you “know” that there is nothing disloyal or sinister in their motives? You don’t know whether to give into the feelings and have it out with your loved one or tell yourself to suck it up, grow up and step up! You find that if you ignore your feelings, then you take the risk of nursing the pain indefinitely and that isn’t appealing. If you show your hurt and anger then you risk feeling ashamed of your childish behavior and that doesn’t you feel good in the relationship.
Does the stress of fighting with your loved one linger for hours if not days? Does the discomfort of the conflict turn into uncertainty about the status of the relationship? Then you must be aware that all that stress and anxiety clogs up the communication channels preventing transparency about how the relationship is faring from moment to moment. It’s an awful place when neither of you know what the other is thinking or feeling and so you jump to the worst case scenario, adding even more stress to an already charged situation. You are left holding your breath with anxiety about how things will turn out and what the long term damage will be to the nature of your connection. Why wait helplessly to find out how long the crack in the relationship will last or who if anyone should make the move to repair it? There is a much easier way to reestablish the connection you had before the conflict that can make you feel calmer, closer and more secure in the blink of an eye as Bridget and Patrick’s experience shows.
Were you brought up to believe that if you suffering is the road to earning love? Do you expect the same from your loved ones? If so your life may be all suffering and no love! Learn how to recognize, accept and receive love in ways that don't force others to be sacrifical nor turn you into a dried up lonely and angry family member.
Fabienne drooled over that gorgeous pair of shoes in the store window. Just for once she wanted to indulge herself by splurging on something personal that wasn't an absolute necessity. She had spoken to Larry about it and he gave her the go ahead. This weekend she was going to treat herself without doubts or guilt.........Saturday morning Larry twisted the knife...............Fabienne's heart flew out of her chest. Her jaw tightened, her teeth ground together and her body went rigid. Gasps of indignation and disbelief gathered in her throat.........
Valerie was hurt and upset. Barry dismissed her plans for the Thanksgiving holiday but supported the same proposals coming from cousin Ruth. What made it even worse was that Barry seemed oblivious to the stinging rebuke he had dealt his wife. Silenced by the lump growing in her throat and the hot tears pricking her eyes, Valerie pretended to be busy in the kitchen. She had to get a grip on herself for the sake of her guests.
Do you get up your courage to break it off with your girlfriend or boyfriend and then chicken out? Do you regret not being able to go through with what you know you need to do and get angry with yourself? Are you anxious and afraid of hurting your partner's feelings and being the bad guy? Are you praying that your boyfriend or girlfriend will get the message and break up with you instead? Then you are experiencing an overabundance of guilt that leads to stress, insomnia, and lack of concentration on your job. The harder you try to be gentle, give hints, be nice or wait for the perfect moment the worse it gets and your frustration will make you do or say things that make you look like an uncaring monster. So watch this video and get a really good practical tip on making the breakup less personal
Are you scared of your partner’s reactions? Do you regret saying what you think and feel if your partner’s feelings get ruffled? Then it’s likely that your partner is terrorizing you by tearing you down so you melt into the background, and then provoking you into reacting when they want you to come back to life. So how should you approach and interact with your partner so that you can live without fear of being silenced and destroyed over and over again? This was the dilemma Mason faced when he tried to have a peaceful relationship with his partner.
