Couples who come to therapy often complain that they cycle around the same issues with no resolution, feeling stagnant, exhausted, and hopeless in the process. In essence they are stuck. Sonia a 33-year old massage therapist wanted her partner Dean a 34-year-old pet-grooming service owner to attend couples therapy to make him commit to [...]
Howard couldn’t commit to his girlfriend Melinda. He was torn between her and his parents. He didn’t want to choose, and hoped that Melinda, a 33-year-old food writer would tolerate his umbilical connection with his parents; because being cut off from them was worse than the idea of losing Melinda. Howard couldn’t separate from [...]
Pre-empty nest fears come at you suddenly, and gradually invade your waking hours. Pre-empty nest fears start when your child says, “I want to make my own play date!” It’s that bitter sweet moment when you are simultaneously relieved that your child is pushing towards doing things independently but also doesn’t need you in [...]
Spouses with depression suffer intense marital problems due to a history of childhood trauma and emotional abuse Spouses with depression face insecure and rocky marital relations. When one spouse has depression, it’s hard for the non-depressed spouse to feel connected and alive in the relationship. But when both spouses are depressed, the stakes go through [...]
Are you locked out of your partner's heart no matter how hard you try to make contact? Do you retaliate by locking them out too? Then you are trapped in a cycle of never connecting and feeling insecure and stressed about the status of your relationship. BUT imagine how different it could be if you discovered the fears that your partner had of letting you in close! WHAT IF you could peek into their inner sanctum and learn how scared they were of you seeing their most private parts? YOU COULD FIND WAYS TO KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND BE WELCOMED IN YOU COULD REDUCE THE FEAR AND GET A FOOTHOLD INTO THEIR SOUL YOU COULD GAIN EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, FEEL WANTED, IMPORTANT, SPECIAL AND TREASURED.
Are you ready to give up on your relationship because your partner shuts you out and keeps you out each time you try to connect? Are you fed up with being treated like a monster instead of a lover and a loving partner? Maybe you are wondering what on earth is making your partner push you away and spurn your efforts to get emotionally intimate! This video is the first in a series that takes you behind the curtains and into the soul of your partner - where you can see all the murky fears that make it hard to trust you and let you in.
Jody was a loner, loved to read and listen to music. She woke up most mornings burdened with the weight of the day ahead. She felt tired and worn out even before she began the day, anticipating what people might think of her. She was concerned with who was looking over her shoulder, waiting to accuse her of doing something wrong. She expected to encounter situations that she wouldn't be able to handle. Memories of inadvertently upsetting people in the past invaded her mind. Uncomfortable past experiences infected the present, as Jody was whipped up into a froth of palpitating anxiety.
If you find that you can't get enough of good sex with your partner at some times but hate the thought of it later, you may be at the mercy of a set of mental factors that turn on the green light for short intervals, while staying on red for long spells. In the green light time zones you see each other as desirable and comforting, but during the red light time periods you perceive each other as robots who need to do their duty and kill off intimacy by making demands and comparisons that are impossible to overcome. Learn two ways you can keep the green light on for longer and on a lasting basis for your constant enjoyment of physical intimacy.
An inability to trust people who said they would do their job and care for her made Sharon exhausted with having to do everything herself. She was always let down if she asked for help and sharing of responsibility. Sharon was caught between wanting to believe and trust but couldn't put herself at risk of having to take over and be the adult all the time. It made her furious and exhausted. Learn about the three steps Sharon needs to take to build up enough trust to let people help her rather than stand in for her irresponsible promise breaking parents who take the tongue lashing on their behalf.
When you are upset that you aren't as perfect as you aimed for, you may criticize yourself, feel bad about yourself and then withdraw from the people you love. Your sense of being imperfect makes you fearful of getting close. You turn inward and shut loved ones out, making your intimate connections dissolve. Research indicates that the self-critical part of perfectionism is the most destructive force to intimacy.
