Home/Tag:mistrust in relationships

Building a Basic Trust Creates True Love

By |2017-05-22T23:12:54+00:00August 1st, 2016|Couples Counseling, Insecurity Counseling|

Do you have a solid basic trust that your partner will share in your experience when you share something important? What’s the first image that comes into your mind when you imagine sharing your feelings or opinion? If it’s one of deflation, then you are missing the second most important feature of having the capacity to truly love, which is basic trust in the humanity of the other. Are you suspicious of your partner’s sincerity and genuineness when they are being ‘nice’ or generous? May be you are exasperated with your partner constantly doubting you and your motives, to the point of giving up on the attempt to connect and enjoy emotional intimacy. I bet that you have been in countless situations where you have made a real effort to listen and be supportive, but got received as if you were a fake. That hurt you and made you wonder “ what’s the point?” That basic trust you need to act on your desire is

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The Most Damaging Secrets You Keep From Your Partner

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00May 22nd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Is it an affair? NO Is it something shady from your past? NO Is it your past identity? NO Is it something about your parental or cultural heritage? N0 So what are these worms that eat away at your relationship, called secrets?

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How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

One of the most common reasons for couples entering therapy is because one or other partner has been caught in a lie that has broken the bonds of trust and intimacy. The sense of betrayal is so huge that the foundations of the relationship crack and are often hard to mend. It doesn’t have to be about some unacceptable behavior like watching internet porn, gambling, drinking or using substances. Those tangible things are easier to deal with compared to the less obvious lies that relate to the feelings your partner has about you or the relationship. Just think how unsettling and anxiety provoking it can be when your partner says they love you but you sense they are lying? It’s the start of a deepening sense of insecurity that leads to suspicion and fear, which is what led Andrew and Sharon to positions of self-defense and protection rather than mutual sharing and care taking.

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How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs

By |2016-12-29T19:50:11+00:00May 13th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

How many times have you ended a stressful day by trying to help your partner with chores only to find that they don’t even notice, and that if they do, they ignore it? Doesn’t it stress you out even more? Don’t you find that you start to get angry, and that your good intentions became a bitter taste in the mouth? That’s exactly what happened to twenty-nine year old Physical Therapy Assistant Mara when she came home from a stressful day fighting traffic as she went from one snappy uncooperative patient’s home to another. Yet she found herself wanting to prove that she was a good wife, so she did all the dishes that had piled up since breakfast that morning, and ironed a fresh shirt for thirty-three year old media executive Dominic to wear the following day. She usually enjoyed doing little things for her partner. It made her feel more committed and closer to him. But not today.

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How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00March 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

A month into a pact that 37 year old cosmetologist Katrina made with 39 year old Roger to quit drinking and attend AA meetings, she found an empty liquor bottle in the outside trash can while she was clearing stuff out. Breathless with fury about his lies and his lack of trustworthiness she waited for him to come home from his job at the property management company. She was ready to confront him with the bottle and make him admit and atone for his transgression towards her and their relationship. “You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you?” Katrina scolded. “No, I haven’t!” “Don’t lie. I found this bottle in the trash. It’s the brand you drink, so don’t lie.” Katrina challenged him with a voice oozing with disgust and contempt. “Stop accusing me of stuff. You’ve got no proof. You jump to conclusions without even asking me.” Roger yelled back in an affronted tone. “We’ve been here before. You’re always promising to stop drinking and go to AA but you never do. You’re just a junkie. If it’s not booze then it’s pot or something else. I’m sick of your lies and empty promises.”

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Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner’s Support

By |2017-09-11T16:26:35+00:00December 12th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, Uncategorized|

On top of a grueling day at work dealing with a staff shortage and patient crises, thirty-three year old physician Phil felt another load heaped on him as soon as he got home. His twenty-eight year old wife Melissa demanded he take care of the dogs and bring in the heavy shopping items while she got ready for her night shift at the hospital where she was acting charge nurse. He had driven home with the weighty concern that he had given a patient the wrong medication in all the chaos of the day. His anxiety levels shot up as he started to imagine being sued, let go from the clinic and having his medical license revoked. He felt like a slave to the pressure put on him by Melissa’s trivial needs compared to the terror he was experiencing in relation to the seriousness of his situation.

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What Makes You Push Your Partner Away and Choose Depression and Loneliness?

By |2017-09-11T16:25:02+00:00November 21st, 2012|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

For the millionth time that day twenty-seven year old receptionist Camille yelled at sound engineer Mario, her boyfriend of eight months. He was never on time, drove carelessly and today he had forgotten the address for her urgent dental appointment after promising to get her there punctually. What made it worse was his utter calmness in the face of her escalating outrage. It was if she were a mere twig on the road that he could go around and continue on his merry way. Camille rejected his hug and concern for her when she came out of the dental office. She ignored his interest in what she could eat and drink after her tooth extraction. Camille avoided any eye contact and refused to talk to him on the way home.

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Dealing With a Partner Who Cannot Trust You and Insists You Are a Cheater

By |2016-12-13T05:19:20+00:00November 17th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

is your suspicious partner setting out bait hoping to catch you out in a lie? Are you angry and frustrated that your partner doesn't believe in your loyalty and commitment? Do you get furious with your partner always looking for signs of cheating no matter how much you prove yourself? Do you get so angry that you actually think of being unfaithful because your partner insists on seeing infidelity at every turn? Have you all but given up on trying to reassure your loved one that you are not a cheating spouse? Perhaps you are intrigued by what makes your partner so mistrustful? Maybe you want to find out why your loved one feels so insecure in the relationship? Well now you can look behind the suspicious mask and discover what is causing your loved one to deny your loyalty.

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Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together

By |2016-12-13T05:19:20+00:00November 14th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

Late on Saturday night thirty year old beautician Elaine sat alone in her apartment after a terrible fight with her thirty-two year boyfriend Dave. She was horrified when Dave lost his cool and accused her of disrespecting him by keeping her whereabouts a secret. Trying to defend herself led to a big fight which ended when she told him to leave. Two hours later Dave was frantic with worry.

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How To Recognize The 3 Prerequisites Of Love And Feel Wanted!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:24+00:00June 26th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

If you are feeling increasingly hopeless about finding that one person who will fit your needs and make you feel special it may be due to clogged up relationship filters that prevent you from recognizing and receiving the very things that you long for. Learn how to unclog the filters and take in the care and commitment that is available to you while saying goodbye to rejection.

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