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Four Ways To Understand a Sexless Marriage and Make it Work

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00June 16th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

What is a sexless marriage? Is it lack of intercourse, or lack of any sexual contact? Is affection a part of a sexless marriage, or is touching not allowed? Maybe a sexless marriage is when there is no sexual contact and intercourse for more than a year! Is it a lack of libido , or is it intercourse that is conducted as a ritual or routine duty?

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Are You and Your Partner Getting Off on Addictive Rage?

By |2017-05-22T22:16:41+00:00May 29th, 2015|Couples Counseling|

west los angeles anger management for couples Jackson just found out that his partner Stacey has been keeping a secret about a friendship with a past romantic friend. It all came spilling out when he saw a text message on her phone while she was in the bathroom and he was getting ready for bed. Stunned, he gave Stacey the cold shoulder when they got into bed. But inside he was smoldering. The lightest touch from Stacey ignited his rage, setting off a cascade of accusations that he wanted her to plead guilty to. Enraged and humiliated about being duped, Jackson wanted to get back in control. One part of him wanted to beat the truth out of her and feel strong doing it, while another part of him wanted a denial so the relationship remained secure. It was hard to know which part of himself he should fight for. Furious at his audacity, Stacey yelled that he was overreacting Jackson went ballistic. He just saw a text that made it clear that something is going on between them. It looked suspicious. How could she pretend he made it up? Jackson’s head throbbed and he felt his heart racing as he began interrogating Stacey He imagined all the ways he had been kept in the dark and made a fool of. His imagination ran riot, and he wanted to get every last drop of “admission ” out of her. Desperate to calm him down and get to sleep, Stacey decided to answer his questions directly hoping it would do the trick. There was no risk for her since she had nothing to hide. But each time she answered him Jackson’s fire got stoked again. To him, it was as if she was proving that there was no smoke without fire!

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Two Ways to Overcome the Anger When Your Partner Insists on Seeing You in a Negative Light

By |2017-05-22T22:19:08+00:00May 6th, 2015|Couples Counseling|

Do you feel frustrated and angry when other people like you, and see your worth, BUT your partner thinks you are a waste of space and is always complaining about you? Why be pushed and pulled, when you know who you really are and like it? All you get is insomnia, anxiety, pain and suffering. Maybe you have a wish that one day your partner will stop being blind and see what a treasure you are, and be eternally grateful! You know that it is unlikely, and that you can hope and wait for ever, OR you can take steps to fulfill that wish yourself. This video tells you how to do that by following 2 steps, on a consistent basis. Do it for yourself or work with me individually so that you can end your suffering.

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How to Turn Envy into Togetherness

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00April 15th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues, Uncategorized|

If you have ever felt envious in the tiniest bit you will know how it can eat your soul alive and make you unavailable for an emotionally intimate relationship. You will be so filled with envious rage that others have what you should have, deserve and have been deprived of that there is no room for anything else. On the other hand if you have felt the envious rage of a loved one thrown your way, you may be blindsided by its force and intensity. You may not be able to see where the rage is coming from, let alone understand that there is envy behind it, because to you there is no reason for it. Either way it's important that envy doesn't destabilize your relationship. Without recognition and attention to reducing it, envy shows itself in aggressive ways, turning an accepting love into one of possession.

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Seven Healthy Ways To Regain Power In Your Relationship

By |2017-09-13T20:56:52+00:00March 31st, 2015|Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Overwhelmed with the prospect of having to manage the finances of the household, thirty-three-year-old Andy gave his power over to his thirty-two-year-old wife who was a whiz at it. He enjoyed the lack of responsibility and the chance not to have to worry about money. UNTIL his wife complained bitterly that he was not pulling his weight. He would get involved for a short time to appease her, but soon drifted back into his old ways until the next time she exploded. Sometimes he acted like a robot not to feel the shame and blame and other times he was passive aggressive, playing the martyr to her abuser roles. What if Andy chose one or more of the healthier ways of owning and exerting his power so that he didn't have to give it away and get it back in the less healthy ways?

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Three Ways to Control Rage When You Feel Abandoned

By |2017-05-22T22:19:39+00:00March 25th, 2015|Couples Counseling|

The sounds of begging and pleading for another chance fell on32-year-old Trudy’s deaf ears. Her 35-year-old husband Max had promised to stop using alcohol and drugs umpteen times, but he never got sober for more than a day or two. She had been let down too often, and now needed to protect herself from being seduced by those pitiful eyes, and his attentive ways. Enraged at losing Trudy and their 5 year old daughter Sasha, Max spent most of his time enraged that he couldn’t get Trudy to listen to him. There was no other woman for him. He wanted her to pick him up when he was down and do the same for her. The only problem was that he remembered the good times and she remembered the bad times.

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Six Ways to Avoid Anger, Stress and Depression That Ruin Your Relationships

By |2017-05-10T00:02:02+00:00February 24th, 2015|Couples Counseling|

Working as a risk management specialist for a large medical group was getting 36-year-old Juliette down. She was exhausted and had no energy left for her husband, 38-year-old Elliot and their 5 and 6 year old children Aden and Mara. She hated having to work, but was the only breadwinner. The pressure on Juliette made her depressed. All she wanted to do was to sleep. She left the chores to her Elliot who attended to them with pride, seeing them as his contribution to the family. Even when she was awake, Juliette felt fatigued and disinterested in playing with her kids. She preferred to look on as Elliot engaged them in cycling, swimming and ball games. She was easily upset when things didn’t go right with the family, and felt useless as a mother, sister and wife. Depression had taken hold, and Juliette was steeped in a lack of self-worth. Her anger at having to be the breadwinner was buried in the depression, as was her disappointment and resentment towards her husband for not taking on that role.

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The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00February 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

Just imagine getting lots of hugs, hand holds, heads on shoulders, gentle touches of reassurance and looks of love? Wouldn't that be satisfying if you could count on that every day from your valentine? Now switch and consider how much your valentine wants the same affectionate interactions from and with you! Put that on your mental list of ways to show love and be loved. Then take a panoramic shot of how often you and your loved one reciprocate affection as a routine way of interacting!

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Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 20th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Recently a woman brought her male partner into therapy to make him confess to seeing other women, because she 'knew' he was playing around. You can guess how that went down! He felt cornered as if he had been forced into a confessional in the guise of having 'therapy' which is generally considered useful and validating. She felt vindicated that I was seeing the lying side of him, while frustrated that I wasn't browbeating him into admitting what she already 'knew' about his transgressions. I felt like I was being put in the role of a principal of a school with a teacher bringing me a naughty boy to be punished - unwilling to take on that mantle. Couples therapy often fails to take off because the intentions of one or other of the partners is to make the other feel bad. They say they want to work on the relationship but when it comes down to it, the partner that instigated the therapy usually wants to shame, blame and reclaim the control.

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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00December 23rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Do you constantly weight up the pros and cons of breaking up and separating, hoping against hope that some miracle will happen and save you from bitter disappointment? Then there is definitely something there that you can work on. You don't really want to separate, but you can't live a life of pretense any longer. You missed out on premarital counseling when you might have seen more of your partner and revised your ideas of married life. So what can you do now?

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