Have you tried reading self-help books on making your relationship work and found the advice sensible but impractical? Perhaps you have been on couples retreats, gone to couples workshops and taken courses on communicating with your partner, gaining intimacy with your spouse and managing conflict with your loved one - but still not succeeded with any degree of consistency. There is a good reason why self-help materials and experiential workshops fail - and that is because you are being taught the skills that work for couples who can do relationships well naturally. They don't have to work through the same tensions, challenges and fears that you do. So when you come to putting those skills into practice the fears that you carry about losing your loved one, driving them away, being cheated on, not being good enough and so on get in the way of the success. It's not that you lack skills or need to learn new ones. It's the fears and insecurities producing relationship stress that get in your way.