Home/dr_j_raymond

About dr_j_raymond

This author has not yet filled in any details.
So far dr_j_raymond has created 405 blog entries.

Love Means Freedom in Relationships

By |2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00September 19th, 2016|Cheating and Affairs, couples therapy, relationship issues|

Are you startled by the idea of freedom in relationships? Does your heart start pounding with fear or excitement? Giving your partner freedom in a relationship is a critical feature of a successful, stable and fulfilling connection. If you are scared by the idea, then you may be imagining the insecurity of having an ‘open marriage’ where you can have other sexual partners, affairs or abdicating and abandoning duties and obligations. If on the other hand you reacted to the idea of freedom in relationships with a flutter of excitement then you are likely to be imagining exploring interests, values and views that reflect your personal growth and maturity. You may also be soothed by the idea of not having to spend all your focus and attention on taking care of your partner’s needs by sacrificing your own.

Comments Off on Love Means Freedom in Relationships

The Art of Love Is Fluidily

By |2018-02-26T18:56:40+00:00September 8th, 2016|Communication Issues, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

The Art Of Love Is Fluidly Do you believe in the art of loving? Are you using the art of loving in your relationship, or are you still searching for the magic? Perhaps you practice the art of love on your partner, but don’t get any in return. This disparity is common and creates the [...]

Comments Off on The Art of Love Is Fluidily

Lack of Desire For Your Partner

By |2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00August 18th, 2016|Couples Counseling, couples therapy, relationship issues|

 Lack of Desire For Your Partner Does your relationship lack the physical intimacy you once enjoyed? Is there a lack of desire for sexual passion in your relationship? Physical intimacy may taper off as you and your relationship age. It may make the relationship feel stale, and lead to affairs in order to feel attractive [...]

Comments Off on Lack of Desire For Your Partner

Fallen Out of Love? The Secret to Being in Love Again

By |2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00August 9th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, couples therapy, relationship issues|

  Fallen Out of Love? Here's How to Find it Again Does it seem that you have fallen out of love with your partner? Do you wonder why you are in a relationship with a partner who always makes you feel bad? Perhaps you fantasize about walking away as far as you can just to [...]

Comments Off on Fallen Out of Love? The Secret to Being in Love Again

Building a Basic Trust Creates True Love

By |2017-05-22T23:12:54+00:00August 1st, 2016|Couples Counseling, Insecurity Counseling|

Do you have a solid basic trust that your partner will share in your experience when you share something important? What’s the first image that comes into your mind when you imagine sharing your feelings or opinion? If it’s one of deflation, then you are missing the second most important feature of having the capacity to truly love, which is basic trust in the humanity of the other. Are you suspicious of your partner’s sincerity and genuineness when they are being ‘nice’ or generous? May be you are exasperated with your partner constantly doubting you and your motives, to the point of giving up on the attempt to connect and enjoy emotional intimacy. I bet that you have been in countless situations where you have made a real effort to listen and be supportive, but got received as if you were a fake. That hurt you and made you wonder “ what’s the point?” That basic trust you need to act on your desire is

Comments Off on Building a Basic Trust Creates True Love

Capacity to Love -Five Attributes

By |2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00July 21st, 2016|Anger Issues, Couples Counseling, couples therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you ever wonder whether your partner has the capacity to love you , just for being you, rather than what you do for them? Are you often disheartened that your partner seems to focus on what you have done or not done, rather than care about your experiences? Maybe you had a similar experience of 'love' from a parent, who never seemed interested or joyful in your company, let alone genuinely into whatever was exciting for you. You know that feeling, when you long to share your joy or sadness, but instead of tuning into you and being happy with you and for you, the interaction switches to being about what they are needing from you. And, its not until you fulfill that need that you are 'loved.'

Comments Off on Capacity to Love -Five Attributes

Couples Communication Issues – 7, Suspicion

By |2018-10-15T20:29:10+00:00March 29th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

Do you automatically brush away your partner’s promises to do chores or specific tasks with suspicion, thinking that it will never happen? Do you doubt your partner’s sincerity when they apologize, suspecting that they are just saying the right words, but don’t really mean it? Maybe you anticipate that you will have to do all the jobs your partner does over again because they won’t do it right or in a timely fashion. You are suspicious of their intentions and capabilities and that makes it hard for you to trust. It puts you on guard, watching for the next mistake or broken promise that will become your problem to handle. It’s not easy to have a loving and open connection when you are in this state, is it?

Comments Off on Couples Communication Issues – 7, Suspicion

Couples Communication Issues, Part 6 -Being in Control

By |2017-09-13T20:22:22+00:00March 12th, 2016|Anger Issues, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

Then I encouraged Rachel to explain how she felt in that situation, and why she went to a cold, mean place later on. She told Byron how she wanted to show their closeness, that speaking about his view was a way of expressing togetherness. When she was controlled and humiliated, it made her want to hurt him by withdrawing and shooting verbal barbs that stung – in other words, taking back control. Making room for both of their wounds and pain showed them that each was trying to control the other to protect their sore spots. Now that they understood the nature and origin of the hurt, they no longer had to use control to manage their couples communication issues, but could instead remind each other of their sensitivities and have other more comforting responses from one and other. Then I encouraged Rachel to explain how she felt in that situation, and why she went to a cold, mean place later on. She told Byron how she wanted to show their closeness, that speaking about his view was a way of expressing togetherness. When she was controlled and humiliated, it made her want to hurt him by withdrawing and shooting verbal barbs that stung – in other words, taking back control. Making room for both of their wounds and pain showed them that each was trying to control the other to protect their sore spots. Now that they understood the nature and origin of the hurt, they no longer had to use control to manage their couples communication issues, but could instead remind each other of their sensitivities and have other more comforting responses from one and other. Do you feel like your partner cuts you off mid-sentence, or gags you just when you are about to say something that bothers you? Maybe you find that the subject has been artfully changed so that you can’t talk about what’s really important to you. Perhaps you feel that you don’t want to hear what your partner has to say because it is nonsense or just irrelevant. One of the major couples communication issues that brings them into couples counseling is where one or both attempt to control the other by the way they react to each other’s efforts to get something across.

Comments Off on Couples Communication Issues, Part 6 -Being in Control

Couples Communication Issues – Part 5, Standoffs!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00February 13th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

You've had a fight with your partner. You are sure you are in the right, and you stand your ground. There is no compromise and you are willing to wait until your partner acknowledges it. You want to be vindicated and you want your partner to acknowledge that you are right and they are wrong. How sweet the thought of that is! So you go off to your private corner with your head held high, and wait. Meantime your partner also feels in the right. Your partner too is willing to wait until you see the error of your judgment, admit it and give them a victory. Your partner is caught in the same couples communication issue as you : a standoff!

Comments Off on Couples Communication Issues – Part 5, Standoffs!

Couples Communication Issues – Part 4 – Delivery Style

By |2017-09-13T20:34:30+00:00January 13th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

Are you enraged because your partner seems to hear what you said but doesn't respond? Do you want to engage your partner in a serious conversation but find that your words go in one ear and out the other? Then you are obviously not having an impact. Maybe there is a reason why matters that are important to you, doesn't hit your partner in the same spot.

Comments Off on Couples Communication Issues – Part 4 – Delivery Style
Go to Top