couples counseling Archives - Page 5 of 17

Continual Separating and reuniting doesn’t have to threaten your relationship!
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Continual Separating and reuniting doesn’t have to threaten your relationship!

Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling

Continual Separating and reuniting doesn’t have to threaten your relationship!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

The way in which you greet and receive your partner after a separation be it momentary for days longs says everything about the health and security of your relationship. Even the shortest of separations from loved ones can cause stress before and after the actual parting. Whether you and your partner separate and reunite every day one of you leaves the other to go to work, to make a phone call to someone else or have to make longer trips that involve a chunk of time away from one another, the disturbance in your emotional state can make reunions uncomfortable. The more insecure you are in your relationship the more uncomfortable and stressful the reunion which may take several minutes, hours, days or weeks to be fully realized.

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Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems
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Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues

Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 4th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Have you worn yourself out with the stress of trying to persuade your partner to go to counseling for anger issues only to be told that there is no problem? Do you want to just walk out of your relationship when your partner calls you crazy after you reason with them about going to therapy for problems with lying, cheating, gambling or substance abuse? Instead of having a competition for who is crazy and who is nuts, or who has their head screwed on right or wrong, watch this video and learn two ways in which you can get through to your partner about accepting that there is a problem requiring professional therapy.

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How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones
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How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 29th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Have you ever felt energized by setting out to do something nice for a loved one only to have it blow up in your face? Did you feel like your good intentions got turned into dirt that you then had to swallow? Perhaps you wondered how on earth your loved one could be upset and angry over your good hearted words and actions – and then you got angry back. You probably felt misunderstood and defeated, as if your golden heart had been turned into rotting ashes. But do you know why your vision of kindness backfired? Do you know what you left out of the equation that made your loved one treat you like a disingenuous lying fraud?

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How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication
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How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication

Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

One of the most common reasons for couples entering therapy is because one or other partner has been caught in a lie that has broken the bonds of trust and intimacy. The sense of betrayal is so huge that the foundations of the relationship crack and are often hard to mend. It doesn’t have to be about some unacceptable behavior like watching internet porn, gambling, drinking or using substances. Those tangible things are easier to deal with compared to the less obvious lies that relate to the feelings your partner has about you or the relationship. Just think how unsettling and anxiety provoking it can be when your partner says they love you but you sense they are lying? It’s the start of a deepening sense of insecurity that leads to suspicion and fear, which is what led Andrew and Sharon to positions of self-defense and protection rather than mutual sharing and care taking.

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How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs
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How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress

How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-29T19:50:11+00:00May 13th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

How many times have you ended a stressful day by trying to help your partner with chores only to find that they don’t even notice, and that if they do, they ignore it? Doesn’t it stress you out even more? Don’t you find that you start to get angry, and that your good intentions became a bitter taste in the mouth? That’s exactly what happened to twenty-nine year old Physical Therapy Assistant Mara when she came home from a stressful day fighting traffic as she went from one snappy uncooperative patient’s home to another. Yet she found herself wanting to prove that she was a good wife, so she did all the dishes that had piled up since breakfast that morning, and ironed a fresh shirt for thirty-three year old media executive Dominic to wear the following day. She usually enjoyed doing little things for her partner. It made her feel more committed and closer to him. But not today.

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How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged
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How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues

How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 8th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you hurt and angry when your partner refuses to listen to your side of things when you are in a conflict? Perhaps you get desperate when your partner has already decided what you did and why you did it, leaving you feeling cheated and unfairly judged. Naturally you get stressed and make heroic efforts to influence your partner's view so that they change their minds and see your truth. But your partner just avoids you. They won't listen and shut you out. The harder you try the more crazy they think you are and they just dismiss you, leaving you high and dry, not knowing how the relationship stands. You don't know if you have lost trust and love or whether things will just find a way of returning to some baseline that is tolerable. This video uses the latest research on couples in conflict and gives you the lowdown on how to get your partner to see your side of things when you are engaged in conflict management.

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Managing co-dependency in a marriage – the second five steps in learning to support rather than rescue
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Managing co-dependency in a marriage – the second five steps in learning to support rather than rescue

Anxiety therapy, relationship issues

Managing co-dependency in a marriage – the second five steps in learning to support rather than rescue

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00March 26th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

Despite the relief that Craig felt when his wife Sophie did his bookkeeping for his landscape business he was frequently choked with shame. The conflict made him snappy and uninterested in spending leisure time with her. He dreaded going to bed at night because he didn’t want to face his impotence when he forced himself to try and make love to her. He was trapped in a cycle of neediness, shame and anger at the very person whom he relied upon to keep his business afloat. The more ashamed he got the less he wanted to be with Sophie. She got angry at him and accused him of being ungrateful and irresponsible. Of course the criticisms added more shame onto Craig’s pile. He hated his wife for making him so dependent on her. The lethal combination of shame and hate made him aggressive towards her. He wanted his power back, but being in a co-dependent relationship made it impossible. He just melted with fear when he tried to stand up for himself

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How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?
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How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00March 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

A month into a pact that 37 year old cosmetologist Katrina made with 39 year old Roger to quit drinking and attend AA meetings, she found an empty liquor bottle in the outside trash can while she was clearing stuff out. Breathless with fury about his lies and his lack of trustworthiness she waited for him to come home from his job at the property management company. She was ready to confront him with the bottle and make him admit and atone for his transgression towards her and their relationship. “You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you?” Katrina scolded. “No, I haven’t!” “Don’t lie. I found this bottle in the trash. It’s the brand you drink, so don’t lie.” Katrina challenged him with a voice oozing with disgust and contempt. “Stop accusing me of stuff. You’ve got no proof. You jump to conclusions without even asking me.” Roger yelled back in an affronted tone. “We’ve been here before. You’re always promising to stop drinking and go to AA but you never do. You’re just a junkie. If it’s not booze then it’s pot or something else. I’m sick of your lies and empty promises.”

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How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine
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How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine

Communication Problems, Intimacy

How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-14T20:26:48+00:00February 9th, 2013|Communication Problems, Intimacy|

Do you have a fantasy about what you want from your valentine? Would you like action in the form of receiving gifts and treats at a fancy restaurant? Or would you prefer a few genuine and sincere words that touch your heart and make you feel special, loved and treasured? Do you care more about spending time with your valentine or is it more important that your loved one spends a lot of money and spoils you rotten?

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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?
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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues

Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T18:14:31+00:00February 2nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

When you have tried as hard as you can to get through to your partner without success you may feel unheard, unseen and misunderstood. You try even harder to make your point, to show where you are coming from and what upsets you so much in the relationship. Your partner may be feeling equally frustrated and exasperated with failed attempts to get through to you about what's going on for them. So you both escalate, get even more angry and disappointed and worst of all you both end up terrified that you are never going to be able to communicate in a way that allows you to feel understood and attended to. Your arguments and fights get increasingly bitter with accusations and blame used as cannons in an attempt to break down the barricades of your partner's apparent refusal to see it your way. At that point you may think that the only way you can salvage the relationship is to go to couples therapy. Maybe an outside person can be more objective and act as a referee or mediator. Before you go to couples therapy, there are some crucial things you should be aware of:

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