How to Make the Most Out of Giving and Receiving Apologies in Close Relationships?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00May 30th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Whenever thirty-six-year-old Danny saw his twenty-nine-year-old partner Liz upset and crying about something he didn’t do, or something expectation he hadn’t met, he would start to feel guilty and ashamed and obey her demands for an apology. He wanted her to stop crying and rescue him from the guilt and shame. He wasn’t really interested in her feelings and how she interpreted his behavior. Each time he apologized she got more angry and would either shut down or berate him even more. Danny floundered, not knowing what to do next or how to keep their connection intact. When he felt aggrieved with Liz for not appreciating his thoughtfulness or his help around the house, he wouldn’t tell her about it. He wanted her to feel bad and apologize for snubbing him, but he wasn’t going to ask. He imagined how sweet it would be when she eventually ate humble pie and begged him to take the apology and resume normal relations

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What Frowning Reveals About the Stress Level of Your Marriage

By |2016-12-29T20:02:17+00:00May 3rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, stress|

After nine years of marriage bringing up three children , thirty-two-year-old Maria faced each day reluctantly. Her body felt heavy and the thought of doing another endless round of chores at home and after school activities with her kids made her head and neck hurt. Her thirty-four-year-old husband Carl’s invitation to take her out to dinner barely blipped on her radar. She registered his intention to be kind and cheer her up but within 10 seconds of acknowledging it, her forehead creased up in a tightly knitted frown, just as it had been before he made the offer.

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What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About Your Marital Satisfaction?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00April 18th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Sleeping in the same bed with her partner Damien at night could be ‘heavenly’ or ‘beastly’ for thirty-seven-year-old florist, Annabel. Sometimes she wanted to mold her body around his, but at other times she felt suffocated by his very presence in the bed. At those times turning her back on him was the only way she could doze off.

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Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Imagine your excitement planning the best celebration ever for your spouse on a big occasion. Everything is perfect and you have spent days and tons of money that you saved up for this event. You have been imagining the delight and joy on your partner's face. You looked forward to eternal gratitude, great sex, and your virtues being praised to all the family, friends and colleagues around. But your vision is destroyed when your spouse says thank you a few times and leaves it at that. Your disappointment that your partner is tired and doesn't want to keep celebrating is huge. You get angry that your partner is ungrateful and didn't show enough pleasure and for long enough to make your efforts and kind heart worthwhile. You start to show your resentment and your partner is at a loss as to why you are wanting more. The relationship gets tense, stressful and conflict is now the name of the game. And it's all because you had an unconscious rule about how your spouse should respond to your goodness.

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Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you have a rule about not being needy in your relationship then you are likely to set up tension, cause arguments and wear the relationship down to the bone. That's what happened to one man who ended up frustrating his wife to such an extent that she avoided being in the same room as him when they were at home. Learn how this one very common rule about pretending not to be needy drove the couple to marriage counseling and finally got discovered, unraveled and discarded for more flexible and joint rules that reunited the couple.

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Don’t Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules – part 3

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 17th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you feel that all your efforts to get close to your partner fail because you can't synchronize your times to communicate? If you get mad that your partner isn't ready to share and iron out stuff between you at exactly the same time as you are, you may feel unequal and rejected. But, you may have an unwritten rule that says that relationships are supposed to work both people feel the same way at the same time which leads to massive disappointments and fear that the marriage is going down the drain.

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Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00September 25th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

“I want to feel like we are together!” is the most frequent goal I hear from partners when they come for couples therapy. But invariably each person has a totally different view and expectation of what it means to be ‘together.’ By the time they get into my office they are both exhausted, having tried and failed to convince each other that their version of togetherness is the one to aim for. They hoped that relationship counseling would prove one or other of them right and the other wro

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How To Avoid Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive

By |2016-12-29T19:56:25+00:00August 14th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

Are you bothered when your partner blames you for being unresponsive to something they said or did, yet shuts you down the minute you try to share your feelings? You must be intensely frustrated caught in this catch twenty-two trap. That’s exactly how thirty-two year sales director Ian felt when his twenty-nine year old partner Chantal, an office manager, poked and prodded him about whether he enjoyed the elaborate celebration dinner she had thrown for him when he got his recent job promotion. He had been surprised and touched and thanked her during the party. But she kept on fishing for more, wanting to know every detail of his experience after all the guests had gone and well into the next week. She would bring it up out of nowhere irrespective of what they were doing or talking about. If he didn’t jump up and down with joy and praise her for her thoughtfulness she accused him of not liking the party and just pretending to enjoy himself. If he reassured her that it made him happy she countered with the suggestion that he was just saying it to be polite.

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Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Bursting with energy and excitement thirty-three year old Evelyn closed up her jewelry design studio and took Greg her thirty-four year old boyfriend to his second interview for the position of assistant chef at the hottest restaurant in town! As usual he was broke and couldn’t afford to put gas in his car. But when she got there he was irritable and snapped at her no matter how much she tried to boost his confidence. By the time they reached the restaurant she was already regretting helping him out, vowing never to bother again! Ever since she saw the job advertised online she had encouraged him to go for it, hoping that he would make something of himself. She wanted a partner on her level of the social and career ladder and if that meant she had to yank him up to be her equal, then that is what she resolved to do. After years of debating grappling with the question, "how do you find a good guy?" she had finally found one, but he needed polishing and shaping up to be even better.

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Are your personal goals likely to save your marriage or break it up?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you feel that your partner is always putting you down and being superior? Do you want to outdo them at their game? Are you always in competition with one another about who is the more moral, the greater lover, the better at remembering the important things in life? Then your goals may be misaligned, causing stress and risk to your marriage. This video shows you how to detect the motivation behind your goals so that you can evaluate whether your marriage is at risk.

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