Both Keith and Kim get a buzz from engaging with each other through conflict. No matter how uncomfortable they may feel during their fights, their cravings for the pay offs call the tune. Like any other addiction, it has to be fed and topped up with more conflict for the highs to be maintained.
Relationship Advice Tips from Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. Are you always worrying about what other people will think of you if you don't conform to expectations? Do you have a nagging voice in your head that pushes you do dress, act, talk and carry yourself in a certain way so that you can avoid the [...]
If you want to know the secret to keeping the romance alive in your relationship after the initial highs, you have to make sure that the levels of the hormone Oxytocin stay pumped up. Research has found that couples who engage in specific reciprocal interactions encourage the production of Oxytocin which in turn glues and cements the attachment bonds so that the couple stays together and enjoys their connection. Learn what those special interactions are and make your relationship separation proof.
Verbal attacks from your loved one can make you shrink into a helpless scared person. Learn how to boost your self-worth by flexing your emotional muscles. Put yourself on an equal footing so that you are not used to make your loved one feel good by putting you down.
Do you feel outraged at your loved one for texting others while out with you? Your sense of abandonment and feelings of being ignored can make you feel insecure, pushing you to end the relationship. Learn how to figure out what gets triggered for you in this moment before you destroy what may be a good relationship.
If you are feeling increasingly hopeless about finding that one person who will fit your needs and make you feel special it may be due to clogged up relationship filters that prevent you from recognizing and receiving the very things that you long for. Learn how to unclog the filters and take in the care and commitment that is available to you while saying goodbye to rejection.
when you can't make a decision because you feel torn between several parts of you all wanting different things, your system eases your burden by paralyzing you. You may hate yourself and push yourself with little success because you are not aware of the conflict you are facing about having to give things up if you go one way or the other. Learn how to take yourself off the hook and get your energy levels flowing again by including all parts of yourself in the equation, making the decision a piece of cake!
Mimi was successful with diets when she felt strong and an equal player in the world. As soon as that fragile mood was threatened by words of conditional love, put downs, and a dismissal of her opinions Mimi felt naked and vulnerable. Food was the comforter and the weight she gained became a shield against the abuse. The thicker the armor the less chance there was of being destabilized and out of control. The armor plating was solid enough to deodorize the stench of her own chaotic and stinky feelings. The armor did such a good job that she couldn't distinguish between her own mess and that of others. It also bypassed her emotional thermostat so that she never knew when she couldn't take any more of other people's trash. Food was the best way of resetting the switch and lowering the temperature.
Loyalty and commitment are not enough to make you liked, popular or wanted. There is a much more vital secret ingredient that friends, spouses, and relatives all agree makes a person likeable. This personality trait involves being non-critical and non-judgmental while playful and self-disclosing. Learn what that secret personality ingredient is that makes people seek you out and enjoy your company, and how it can benefit all your important relationships.
Do you live in fear of rejection? Are you waiting for the axe to fall as soon as you have found someone that you like and feel close to? Are the words "here it comes again" ringing in your ears long before your loved one gives you any sign of cooling off? You are not alone in anticipating rejection in order to protect yourself from the reality of it. The only trouble is that you may see rejection when it isn't really there.
