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So far dr_j_raymond has created 405 blog entries.

Why You Keep Getting Attracted To The Wrong Person- part 1

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00August 21st, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Do you think there is something wrong with you because you keep picking the wrong partner? -Do you wonder why you keep getting attracted to the wrong people? There are three reasons why you are compelled to feel a thrill when you meet someone who appears to be exactly what you have been searching for, but ends up disappointing you and stressing you out. It's true that you are searching for a certain person who you want to relate to but you end up feeling defeated and depleted. This video explains the first and most powerful reason why the right person into the wrong partner.

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How To Avoid Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive

By |2016-12-29T19:56:25+00:00August 14th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

Are you bothered when your partner blames you for being unresponsive to something they said or did, yet shuts you down the minute you try to share your feelings? You must be intensely frustrated caught in this catch twenty-two trap. That’s exactly how thirty-two year sales director Ian felt when his twenty-nine year old partner Chantal, an office manager, poked and prodded him about whether he enjoyed the elaborate celebration dinner she had thrown for him when he got his recent job promotion. He had been surprised and touched and thanked her during the party. But she kept on fishing for more, wanting to know every detail of his experience after all the guests had gone and well into the next week. She would bring it up out of nowhere irrespective of what they were doing or talking about. If he didn’t jump up and down with joy and praise her for her thoughtfulness she accused him of not liking the party and just pretending to enjoy himself. If he reassured her that it made him happy she countered with the suggestion that he was just saying it to be polite.

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Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Bursting with energy and excitement thirty-three year old Evelyn closed up her jewelry design studio and took Greg her thirty-four year old boyfriend to his second interview for the position of assistant chef at the hottest restaurant in town! As usual he was broke and couldn’t afford to put gas in his car. But when she got there he was irritable and snapped at her no matter how much she tried to boost his confidence. By the time they reached the restaurant she was already regretting helping him out, vowing never to bother again! Ever since she saw the job advertised online she had encouraged him to go for it, hoping that he would make something of himself. She wanted a partner on her level of the social and career ladder and if that meant she had to yank him up to be her equal, then that is what she resolved to do. After years of debating grappling with the question, "how do you find a good guy?" she had finally found one, but he needed polishing and shaping up to be even better.

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Are your personal goals likely to save your marriage or break it up?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you feel that your partner is always putting you down and being superior? Do you want to outdo them at their game? Are you always in competition with one another about who is the more moral, the greater lover, the better at remembering the important things in life? Then your goals may be misaligned, causing stress and risk to your marriage. This video shows you how to detect the motivation behind your goals so that you can evaluate whether your marriage is at risk.

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Continual Separating and reuniting doesn’t have to threaten your relationship!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

The way in which you greet and receive your partner after a separation be it momentary for days longs says everything about the health and security of your relationship. Even the shortest of separations from loved ones can cause stress before and after the actual parting. Whether you and your partner separate and reunite every day one of you leaves the other to go to work, to make a phone call to someone else or have to make longer trips that involve a chunk of time away from one another, the disturbance in your emotional state can make reunions uncomfortable. The more insecure you are in your relationship the more uncomfortable and stressful the reunion which may take several minutes, hours, days or weeks to be fully realized.

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Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 4th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Have you worn yourself out with the stress of trying to persuade your partner to go to counseling for anger issues only to be told that there is no problem? Do you want to just walk out of your relationship when your partner calls you crazy after you reason with them about going to therapy for problems with lying, cheating, gambling or substance abuse? Instead of having a competition for who is crazy and who is nuts, or who has their head screwed on right or wrong, watch this video and learn two ways in which you can get through to your partner about accepting that there is a problem requiring professional therapy.

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How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 29th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Have you ever felt energized by setting out to do something nice for a loved one only to have it blow up in your face? Did you feel like your good intentions got turned into dirt that you then had to swallow? Perhaps you wondered how on earth your loved one could be upset and angry over your good hearted words and actions – and then you got angry back. You probably felt misunderstood and defeated, as if your golden heart had been turned into rotting ashes. But do you know why your vision of kindness backfired? Do you know what you left out of the equation that made your loved one treat you like a disingenuous lying fraud?

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How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

One of the most common reasons for couples entering therapy is because one or other partner has been caught in a lie that has broken the bonds of trust and intimacy. The sense of betrayal is so huge that the foundations of the relationship crack and are often hard to mend. It doesn’t have to be about some unacceptable behavior like watching internet porn, gambling, drinking or using substances. Those tangible things are easier to deal with compared to the less obvious lies that relate to the feelings your partner has about you or the relationship. Just think how unsettling and anxiety provoking it can be when your partner says they love you but you sense they are lying? It’s the start of a deepening sense of insecurity that leads to suspicion and fear, which is what led Andrew and Sharon to positions of self-defense and protection rather than mutual sharing and care taking.

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How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner’s needs

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 18th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you and your partner love each other but feel unhappy in your relationship? Have you tried all the ways you know to please your partner yet still get the message that you are failing? That may because men and women want different things in order to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship.

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How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs

By |2016-12-29T19:50:11+00:00May 13th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

How many times have you ended a stressful day by trying to help your partner with chores only to find that they don’t even notice, and that if they do, they ignore it? Doesn’t it stress you out even more? Don’t you find that you start to get angry, and that your good intentions became a bitter taste in the mouth? That’s exactly what happened to twenty-nine year old Physical Therapy Assistant Mara when she came home from a stressful day fighting traffic as she went from one snappy uncooperative patient’s home to another. Yet she found herself wanting to prove that she was a good wife, so she did all the dishes that had piled up since breakfast that morning, and ironed a fresh shirt for thirty-three year old media executive Dominic to wear the following day. She usually enjoyed doing little things for her partner. It made her feel more committed and closer to him. But not today.

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