marriage counseling Archives - LA Westside Therapy

Love Means Freedom in Relationships
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Love Means Freedom in Relationships

Cheating and Affairs, couples therapy, relationship issues

Love Means Freedom in Relationships

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00September 19th, 2016|Cheating and Affairs, couples therapy, relationship issues|

Are you startled by the idea of freedom in relationships? Does your heart start pounding with fear or excitement? Giving your partner freedom in a relationship is a critical feature of a successful, stable and fulfilling connection. If you are scared by the idea, then you may be imagining the insecurity of having an ‘open marriage’ where you can have other sexual partners, affairs or abdicating and abandoning duties and obligations. If on the other hand you reacted to the idea of freedom in relationships with a flutter of excitement then you are likely to be imagining exploring interests, values and views that reflect your personal growth and maturity. You may also be soothed by the idea of not having to spend all your focus and attention on taking care of your partner’s needs by sacrificing your own.

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Couples Communication Issues – Part 5, Standoffs!
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Couples Communication Issues – Part 5, Standoffs!

Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy

Couples Communication Issues – Part 5, Standoffs!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:12+00:00February 13th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

You've had a fight with your partner. You are sure you are in the right, and you stand your ground. There is no compromise and you are willing to wait until your partner acknowledges it. You want to be vindicated and you want your partner to acknowledge that you are right and they are wrong. How sweet the thought of that is! So you go off to your private corner with your head held high, and wait. Meantime your partner also feels in the right. Your partner too is willing to wait until you see the error of your judgment, admit it and give them a victory. Your partner is caught in the same couples communication issue as you : a standoff!

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Couples Communication Issues – Part 4 – Delivery Style
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Couples Communication Issues – Part 4 – Delivery Style

Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy

Couples Communication Issues – Part 4 – Delivery Style

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:34:30+00:00January 13th, 2016|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, couples therapy|

Are you enraged because your partner seems to hear what you said but doesn't respond? Do you want to engage your partner in a serious conversation but find that your words go in one ear and out the other? Then you are obviously not having an impact. Maybe there is a reason why matters that are important to you, doesn't hit your partner in the same spot.

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Couples Communication Issues – Part 2 – The Approach
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Couples Communication Issues – Part 2 – The Approach

Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy

Couples Communication Issues – Part 2 – The Approach

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:23:03+00:00December 29th, 2015|Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy|

communication issues in couples therapy The approach you take when you initiate a conversation with your spouse determines whether or not you get through, or stay outside feeling unseen and unheard. In this second of the series on couples communication issues, you will learn why your partner shuts down, shuts you out and shuts down the relationship. You will also discover how your expectations of your partner's words and intentions can effect receptivity, making the difference between being invited in, or being shut out.

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8 Stages to Getting Past Being Cheated On
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8 Stages to Getting Past Being Cheated On

Cheating and Affairs

8 Stages to Getting Past Being Cheated On

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:57:42+00:00August 13th, 2015|Cheating and Affairs|

Sorting out the laundry one Thursday evening, Marsha, a 37 year-old antique dealer found a receipt in her 40-year-old husband Terry’s jeans pocket. Stunned into paralysis as she unfolded the crumpled paper, she knew immediately that she had been cheated on. A hotel receipt, paid for in cash, for a large suite and room service obviously for more than one person. With a throbbing head, trembling hands and a hot flush enveloping her, Marsha called her best friend. Toni was the only one Marsha could trust to understand and make her feel better. After sharing her shock and realizing that Terry had been cheating, a montage of images flashed through her mind like a dizzy slide show. Signs that she had ignored over the last few months now stood out and wrapped her over the knuckles for not paying closer attention.

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Men and Women Have Different Fears that Prevent Them From Discussing Marriage
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Men and Women Have Different Fears that Prevent Them From Discussing Marriage

Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy

Men and Women Have Different Fears that Prevent Them From Discussing Marriage

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-29T15:31:30+00:00May 1st, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy|

Gordon was attracted to his wife because she appeared independent, competent, able to handle his anxieties as well as offer comfort and security. After he married her, he discovered that she wanted to be taken care of, play and enjoy her pets - his world crashed. He felt that he had lost the object of his dreams, the security he thought he had garnered, and the tender care that he believed was on tap. The shock of finding out that the tables had been turned on him made him furious and scared. But he didn't dare talk about it to his wife Maria. It was too scary a proposition.

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Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5
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Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Imagine your excitement planning the best celebration ever for your spouse on a big occasion. Everything is perfect and you have spent days and tons of money that you saved up for this event. You have been imagining the delight and joy on your partner's face. You looked forward to eternal gratitude, great sex, and your virtues being praised to all the family, friends and colleagues around. But your vision is destroyed when your spouse says thank you a few times and leaves it at that. Your disappointment that your partner is tired and doesn't want to keep celebrating is huge. You get angry that your partner is ungrateful and didn't show enough pleasure and for long enough to make your efforts and kind heart worthwhile. You start to show your resentment and your partner is at a loss as to why you are wanting more. The relationship gets tense, stressful and conflict is now the name of the game. And it's all because you had an unconscious rule about how your spouse should respond to your goodness.

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Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?
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Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues

Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00July 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Bursting with energy and excitement thirty-three year old Evelyn closed up her jewelry design studio and took Greg her thirty-four year old boyfriend to his second interview for the position of assistant chef at the hottest restaurant in town! As usual he was broke and couldn’t afford to put gas in his car. But when she got there he was irritable and snapped at her no matter how much she tried to boost his confidence. By the time they reached the restaurant she was already regretting helping him out, vowing never to bother again! Ever since she saw the job advertised online she had encouraged him to go for it, hoping that he would make something of himself. She wanted a partner on her level of the social and career ladder and if that meant she had to yank him up to be her equal, then that is what she resolved to do. After years of debating grappling with the question, "how do you find a good guy?" she had finally found one, but he needed polishing and shaping up to be even better.

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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T18:44:37+00:00January 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Thirty-two year upwardly mobile grocery store manager Danny approached life with eager optimism. His colleagues and workers revered him for acknowledging their good points, but his thirty year old wife Rayna, a successful beautician threw his compliments in the trash as if they were dirty wasted hair clippings from her customers. Danny’s patience was tested to its limits one evening when he came home and found Rayna tearing her hair out with problems printing out flyers for a special offer at her salon.

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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T18:47:25+00:00January 15th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Gina a twenty-seven year old recent law school graduate was bubbling about her acceptance as an intern at a prestigious law firm. She jumped into the car when her thirty-two year old boyfriend Jake, vice-principle at an elementary school came to pick her up. She started talking excitedly before she strapped her seat belt on, but was gutted when she was abruptly cut off in mid- sentence. Three sentences in Jake sighed, avoided eye contact and told her he had to concentrate on the traffic.

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