Are you scared that if you have time with friends, family, colleagues or just alone that you are deserting your loved one? Is the fear of being seen as disloyal stopping you from living a full and satisfying life? The real fear you have is that if you step out of the arena even for a short while to take care of your needs outside the relationship that your loved one will forget you, find someone else or just not want you back.
Faye often fantasized about leaving and finding a more responsive partner. She imagined a more loving and thankful man who valued her empathy, her consideration and her willingness to give him space to fulfill his ambition. That’s what she had hoped to get from Kyle, but that was now a lost cause. Faye found herself getting irritable with Kyle, finding fault with him just for breathing and avoiding any physical contact. Their relationship had become a tension filled balloon about to burst as it ran out of air!
Do you dread those tense moments when you can feel a fight starting up between you and your loved on? Are you tired and needing a breather but can't find a way out? Have you tried not reacting, compromising, pleasing and shutting down, but yet the sparks fly and the fights erupt? Then you and your loved ones may have problems with boundaries in your relationships. You see, it's not that you are arguing points or opinions but that you are trying desperately to carve out comfortable space for yourself without harming the couple part of the relationship. That's when the tension gets high and some fighting needs to take place to get you the space!
If you connect with your partner through guilt then you probably find yourself wanting to escape. The relationship isn't comfortable because you need to set some personal boundaries that make appropriate times and situations for enjoyable connection instead of a pull-push cycle of anger and guilt. Learn how to do that so that you actually want to be with your partner rather than feel you have to!
If you want to know the secret to keeping the romance alive in your relationship after the initial highs, you have to make sure that the levels of the hormone Oxytocin stay pumped up. Research has found that couples who engage in specific reciprocal interactions encourage the production of Oxytocin which in turn glues and cements the attachment bonds so that the couple stays together and enjoys their connection. Learn what those special interactions are and make your relationship separation proof.
Do conversations with your loved one turn into fights that no one wins? Communication about ordinary life shouldn't have to take you to a battle ground where you end up stressed, exhausted and feeling alone in a conflict. Learn how to stop a regular discussion from turning into an ugly fight, that is divisive. Find out how to connect in a way where you can listen and be heard, creating emotional availability on both sides.
Is your relationship and sex life just 'okay!' Are you left unsatisfied but can't quite put your finger on what's missing? It may be that you are expecting sex to fulfill too many of your relationship needs and then get understandably disappointed - things like play, comfort, making up after a fight, and so on. Learn how to figure out what duties you are expecting sex to perform in your connection and how to share that burden with other aspects of your relationship.
Do you want to be comforted by your partner when you vent about your bad experiences but end up frustrated because you get problem solving instead? The feeling of not being properly heard and attended to can make you feel alone, and unsupported. Learn about the many different purposes of venting and how to get your needs accurately read and responded to by your partner, so that you feel satisfied after venting. Discover how to tune into yourself and share your needs with your partner so that your venting has a purpose and leaves you feeling like you are believed, have someone on your side, and calmer so that your daily stresses can be minimized.
If you have tried everything to interest your partner in sharing physical intimacy with you and failed, you must be feeling desperate, angry and frustrated. Before you resort to demands, threats and ultimatums, try the three steps outlined in the video that will make both of you eager to treasure your intimate moments.
Guilt and fear of destroying your relationship can make you feel like you have to apologize for your anger. But the apology is not for saying what you really mean. It's a way of making sure your rage hasn't dissolved the relationship. Learn two ways to test the connection and avoid the humiliation of apologizing when you don't want to or need to.
