How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

One of the most common reasons for couples entering therapy is because one or other partner has been caught in a lie that has broken the bonds of trust and intimacy. The sense of betrayal is so huge that the foundations of the relationship crack and are often hard to mend. It doesn’t have to be about some unacceptable behavior like watching internet porn, gambling, drinking or using substances. Those tangible things are easier to deal with compared to the less obvious lies that relate to the feelings your partner has about you or the relationship. Just think how unsettling and anxiety provoking it can be when your partner says they love you but you sense they are lying? It’s the start of a deepening sense of insecurity that leads to suspicion and fear, which is what led Andrew and Sharon to positions of self-defense and protection rather than mutual sharing and care taking.

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How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner’s needs

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 18th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you and your partner love each other but feel unhappy in your relationship? Have you tried all the ways you know to please your partner yet still get the message that you are failing? That may because men and women want different things in order to feel happy and satisfied in the relationship.

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How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs

By |2016-12-29T19:50:11+00:00May 13th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, stress|

How many times have you ended a stressful day by trying to help your partner with chores only to find that they don’t even notice, and that if they do, they ignore it? Doesn’t it stress you out even more? Don’t you find that you start to get angry, and that your good intentions became a bitter taste in the mouth? That’s exactly what happened to twenty-nine year old Physical Therapy Assistant Mara when she came home from a stressful day fighting traffic as she went from one snappy uncooperative patient’s home to another. Yet she found herself wanting to prove that she was a good wife, so she did all the dishes that had piled up since breakfast that morning, and ironed a fresh shirt for thirty-three year old media executive Dominic to wear the following day. She usually enjoyed doing little things for her partner. It made her feel more committed and closer to him. But not today.

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How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 8th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you hurt and angry when your partner refuses to listen to your side of things when you are in a conflict? Perhaps you get desperate when your partner has already decided what you did and why you did it, leaving you feeling cheated and unfairly judged. Naturally you get stressed and make heroic efforts to influence your partner's view so that they change their minds and see your truth. But your partner just avoids you. They won't listen and shut you out. The harder you try the more crazy they think you are and they just dismiss you, leaving you high and dry, not knowing how the relationship stands. You don't know if you have lost trust and love or whether things will just find a way of returning to some baseline that is tolerable. This video uses the latest research on couples in conflict and gives you the lowdown on how to get your partner to see your side of things when you are engaged in conflict management.

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How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00March 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

A month into a pact that 37 year old cosmetologist Katrina made with 39 year old Roger to quit drinking and attend AA meetings, she found an empty liquor bottle in the outside trash can while she was clearing stuff out. Breathless with fury about his lies and his lack of trustworthiness she waited for him to come home from his job at the property management company. She was ready to confront him with the bottle and make him admit and atone for his transgression towards her and their relationship. “You’ve been drinking again, haven’t you?” Katrina scolded. “No, I haven’t!” “Don’t lie. I found this bottle in the trash. It’s the brand you drink, so don’t lie.” Katrina challenged him with a voice oozing with disgust and contempt. “Stop accusing me of stuff. You’ve got no proof. You jump to conclusions without even asking me.” Roger yelled back in an affronted tone. “We’ve been here before. You’re always promising to stop drinking and go to AA but you never do. You’re just a junkie. If it’s not booze then it’s pot or something else. I’m sick of your lies and empty promises.”

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The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empatically

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00February 19th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

At 8:00 pm one Wednesday night forty-three year dance teacher Erica was paying bills online when her forty-five year old partner Damien, a podiatrist, rushed into the room with a stack of papers that he wanted her to see. He was going on about being sued for malpractice, cussing out the patient and the lawyers. She waited till he finished and then told him it was a legal issue and went back to her bill paying. The tsunami of vitriol that Damien threw at her for not listening or caring made her speechless with rage.

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How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine

By |2017-09-14T20:26:48+00:00February 9th, 2013|Communication Problems, Intimacy|

Do you have a fantasy about what you want from your valentine? Would you like action in the form of receiving gifts and treats at a fancy restaurant? Or would you prefer a few genuine and sincere words that touch your heart and make you feel special, loved and treasured? Do you care more about spending time with your valentine or is it more important that your loved one spends a lot of money and spoils you rotten?

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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

By |2017-09-11T18:14:31+00:00February 2nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

When you have tried as hard as you can to get through to your partner without success you may feel unheard, unseen and misunderstood. You try even harder to make your point, to show where you are coming from and what upsets you so much in the relationship. Your partner may be feeling equally frustrated and exasperated with failed attempts to get through to you about what's going on for them. So you both escalate, get even more angry and disappointed and worst of all you both end up terrified that you are never going to be able to communicate in a way that allows you to feel understood and attended to. Your arguments and fights get increasingly bitter with accusations and blame used as cannons in an attempt to break down the barricades of your partner's apparent refusal to see it your way. At that point you may think that the only way you can salvage the relationship is to go to couples therapy. Maybe an outside person can be more objective and act as a referee or mediator. Before you go to couples therapy, there are some crucial things you should be aware of:

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Breaking Up Doesn’t Have To Be so Hard To Do!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:19+00:00January 25th, 2013|Breakups and Separation, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you want to break up with your partner but just can't bring yourself to do it? Are you wracked with guilt every time you think of telling your partner that you want to end the relationship? Do you feel ungrateful and selfish because your partner is an angel and hasn't done anything to deserve being rejected? What you want most of all is for your partner to be the one to walk away so you don't have to be the bad guy. But that doesn't happen, so you start being a little bad here and there hoping your partner will stop loving you and break up the relationship. This cycle of silent and undercover attempts at breaking up can go on for ever and take up a lot of energy. You can get depressed and turn into the exact evil monster that you were trying to avoid, just to set yourself free. Mandy and Chris were both trapped in the same spot.

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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

By |2017-09-13T18:44:37+00:00January 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Thirty-two year upwardly mobile grocery store manager Danny approached life with eager optimism. His colleagues and workers revered him for acknowledging their good points, but his thirty year old wife Rayna, a successful beautician threw his compliments in the trash as if they were dirty wasted hair clippings from her customers. Danny’s patience was tested to its limits one evening when he came home and found Rayna tearing her hair out with problems printing out flyers for a special offer at her salon.

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