relating without conflict Archives

Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop
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Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop

Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T16:54:49+00:00March 17th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Pinning you down to score points Remember those fights when your partner brought up all the 'nasty' things you said and did, as if they were being read from a score sheet? That's often how loved ones track each others sins of omission and sins of commission. Fired up with indignation and fury when there is tension between you, they mentally read from that score sheet to bury you in one fell swoop, so that they can feel vindicated. Perhaps you do the same thing without knowing it. Maybe you too make mental notes of the things you wanted your partner to do and felt slighted when you were let down. It's likely that you can predict the moment your partner is going to go 'off' on a tirade, bringing up all the garbage from the past to make you feel like the devil incarnate. Ever wondered why you and your partner relate in this way?

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How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged
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How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues

How to manage conflict in a relationship so you don’t feel prejudged

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00May 8th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you hurt and angry when your partner refuses to listen to your side of things when you are in a conflict? Perhaps you get desperate when your partner has already decided what you did and why you did it, leaving you feeling cheated and unfairly judged. Naturally you get stressed and make heroic efforts to influence your partner's view so that they change their minds and see your truth. But your partner just avoids you. They won't listen and shut you out. The harder you try the more crazy they think you are and they just dismiss you, leaving you high and dry, not knowing how the relationship stands. You don't know if you have lost trust and love or whether things will just find a way of returning to some baseline that is tolerable. This video uses the latest research on couples in conflict and gives you the lowdown on how to get your partner to see your side of things when you are engaged in conflict management.

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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T18:44:37+00:00January 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Thirty-two year upwardly mobile grocery store manager Danny approached life with eager optimism. His colleagues and workers revered him for acknowledging their good points, but his thirty year old wife Rayna, a successful beautician threw his compliments in the trash as if they were dirty wasted hair clippings from her customers. Danny’s patience was tested to its limits one evening when he came home and found Rayna tearing her hair out with problems printing out flyers for a special offer at her salon.

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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T18:47:25+00:00January 15th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Gina a twenty-seven year old recent law school graduate was bubbling about her acceptance as an intern at a prestigious law firm. She jumped into the car when her thirty-two year old boyfriend Jake, vice-principle at an elementary school came to pick her up. She started talking excitedly before she strapped her seat belt on, but was gutted when she was abruptly cut off in mid- sentence. Three sentences in Jake sighed, avoided eye contact and told her he had to concentrate on the traffic.

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Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together
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Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling

Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:20+00:00November 14th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

Late on Saturday night thirty year old beautician Elaine sat alone in her apartment after a terrible fight with her thirty-two year boyfriend Dave. She was horrified when Dave lost his cool and accused her of disrespecting him by keeping her whereabouts a secret. Trying to defend herself led to a big fight which ended when she told him to leave. Two hours later Dave was frantic with worry.

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Passover troubles and resurrect good times during the holidays

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:25+00:00April 6th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

Avoid holiday stress with family and loved ones by focusing on the symbols of the holidays rather than their rituals. Get two tips on passing over the troubled waters of relationship stress trying to please others, feeling trapped in the same arguments and having to compromise your needs. Learn how to ressurect the strong bonds of value and appreciation in one another that offer renewal and a promising future.

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How to do your thing without risking rejection from loved ones
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How to do your thing without risking rejection from loved ones

Anxiety therapy, relationship issues, separation counseling

How to do your thing without risking rejection from loved ones

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T18:42:07+00:00February 14th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

If you are torn between being yourself but risking the rejection of loved ones in the process then you are stressed and it may come out in the form of lower back pain, reflecting unbearable burdens that you can't deal with. Discover how to find your power and strength to be yourself, grow and develop while hanging onto your relationships, provided you are up for some changes in the nature of the relationship.

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How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
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How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues

How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T19:02:30+00:00January 11th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you are angry and tired of waiting for your partner to make good on a promise to commit to marriage and family then you are probably stressed and torn between staying in the hope of some movement and wanting to cut your losses. Learn 3 ways to help you decide what the costs and consequences are for you if you take the plunge and choose one side of your need. Take the pressure off yourself and your partner by looking at what is getting in the way and how to help your partner come out of the indecisive bubble.

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How to deal with people who want your advice but don’t take it!
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How to deal with people who want your advice but don’t take it!

Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues

How to deal with people who want your advice but don’t take it!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:04:08+00:00November 23rd, 2011|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

It's infuriating and stressful when your loved ones ask you for your opinion but never heed it! They keep boosting you up by wanting your advice but then drop you like a hot potato as soon as you have given your wisdom and caring. It causes conflict that makes relationships tense and uncomfortable. Learn three ways in which you and your loved one can find room for both sets of views instead of going for one judge and jury.

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How to trust loved ones so you don’t have to do everything yourself!
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How to trust loved ones so you don’t have to do everything yourself!

Anxiety therapy, relationship issues

How to trust loved ones so you don’t have to do everything yourself!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:13:07+00:00October 2nd, 2011|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

An inability to trust people who said they would do their job and care for her made Sharon exhausted with having to do everything herself. She was always let down if she asked for help and sharing of responsibility. Sharon was caught between wanting to believe and trust but couldn't put herself at risk of having to take over and be the adult all the time. It made her furious and exhausted. Learn about the three steps Sharon needs to take to build up enough trust to let people help her rather than stand in for her irresponsible promise breaking parents who take the tongue lashing on their behalf.

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