Men and Women Have Different Fears that Prevent Them From Discussing Marriage

By |2016-12-29T15:31:30+00:00May 1st, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy|

Gordon was attracted to his wife because she appeared independent, competent, able to handle his anxieties as well as offer comfort and security. After he married her, he discovered that she wanted to be taken care of, play and enjoy her pets - his world crashed. He felt that he had lost the object of his dreams, the security he thought he had garnered, and the tender care that he believed was on tap. The shock of finding out that the tables had been turned on him made him furious and scared. But he didn't dare talk about it to his wife Maria. It was too scary a proposition.

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How to Tell the Difference Betwen Being Needy and Being Dependent

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00March 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

One of the most common fears people have in romantic relationships is about being needy. It arouses shame, followed by a massive attempt to compensate. Often it takes the form of becoming totally self-sufficient to the point of avoiding all social contact. The result: isolation, lack of emotional intimacy, leading to insecurity and depression – which in turn makes you more ‘needy.’

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Six Ways to Avoid Anger, Stress and Depression That Ruin Your Relationships

By |2017-05-10T00:02:02+00:00February 24th, 2015|Couples Counseling|

Working as a risk management specialist for a large medical group was getting 36-year-old Juliette down. She was exhausted and had no energy left for her husband, 38-year-old Elliot and their 5 and 6 year old children Aden and Mara. She hated having to work, but was the only breadwinner. The pressure on Juliette made her depressed. All she wanted to do was to sleep. She left the chores to her Elliot who attended to them with pride, seeing them as his contribution to the family. Even when she was awake, Juliette felt fatigued and disinterested in playing with her kids. She preferred to look on as Elliot engaged them in cycling, swimming and ball games. She was easily upset when things didn’t go right with the family, and felt useless as a mother, sister and wife. Depression had taken hold, and Juliette was steeped in a lack of self-worth. Her anger at having to be the breadwinner was buried in the depression, as was her disappointment and resentment towards her husband for not taking on that role.

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Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 20th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Recently a woman brought her male partner into therapy to make him confess to seeing other women, because she 'knew' he was playing around. You can guess how that went down! He felt cornered as if he had been forced into a confessional in the guise of having 'therapy' which is generally considered useful and validating. She felt vindicated that I was seeing the lying side of him, while frustrated that I wasn't browbeating him into admitting what she already 'knew' about his transgressions. I felt like I was being put in the role of a principal of a school with a teacher bringing me a naughty boy to be punished - unwilling to take on that mantle. Couples therapy often fails to take off because the intentions of one or other of the partners is to make the other feel bad. They say they want to work on the relationship but when it comes down to it, the partner that instigated the therapy usually wants to shame, blame and reclaim the control.

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Seven Reasons You Might Collude With Your Partner To Flirt With Your Best Friend

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 6th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Does it bother you when you catch your partner flirting with your best friend? Do you swing from thinking it's good that they are pals, to wondering if both of them are betraying you? It must be very uncomfortable for you to be caught in this trap. Do you confront one or other and risk being seen as overly sensitive or jealous? What if you hurt one or both when they feel that you mistrust them and that the friendship and romantic relationship are in jepoardy? Do you wait to see what develops? Do you nip things in the bud?

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Four Reasons Why PreMarital Counseling Ensures You Truly Know The Person You Plan to Marry

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00November 26th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Filled with excitement and carried away by romance you imagine the fairy tale of living happily ever after. You do everything you can to protect yourself against anticipating the adjustments you will have to make when living together as fallible human beings. But marriage turns the rose colored glasses you wore into lenses of disappointment, resentment, anger and mistrust - especially when your impending marriage is primarily an exit strategy from controlling or rejecting and abandoning parents.

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Five Ways to Shift From the “I” Body Language to the “We” Stance in Your Relationship

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 31st, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you know what messages your body language gives your partner? Do you know how to read the signals of defense rather than togetherness? When you are fighting for your point of you, to be made right, and win the battle, then your relationship is in jeopoardy. So alert yourself to the behaviors that stress the "I" part of you, where the couple part is demoted. Then tune into the behaviors that stress the "we" part of the couple so your relationship can survive and thrive.

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Bullet Proof Your Relationship Against Your Partner Leaving You

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Imagine if your partner suddenly said they were going to leave you? Would you be shocked, shaken, stunned and destabilized? You would feel insecure and stressed. Then you were probably imagining that everything was fine and that you had the near perfect relationship. Hardly any arguments, shared jobs and good sex. But what about the emotional intimacy?

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Six Things Men Want Their Women To Know But Are Too Afraid To Tell Them

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00August 25th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy|

Ladies, did you know that men aren't just interested in sex and actually want to play and have fun with you? Research published in July 2014 from Columbia University School of Public Health found that young men want emotional closeness and not just sex. The American Sociology Society reported in August 2014 that it is women who have affairs do so for the sex when their passions aren't met by their husbands - they aren't interested in emotional intimacy or divorce. When you get too serious about being the 'perfect' partner your man feels that he no longer means anything to you, except a trophy, a 'Mr. Fixit' or an object of sex - just so you get to feel like you are doing your duty as a ma

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Why Does Your Partner Make No Room For You When You Try to Get Close?

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00July 7th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Are you locked out of your partner's heart no matter how hard you try to make contact? Do you retaliate by locking them out too? Then you are trapped in a cycle of never connecting and feeling insecure and stressed about the status of your relationship. BUT imagine how different it could be if you discovered the fears that your partner had of letting you in close! WHAT IF you could peek into their inner sanctum and learn how scared they were of you seeing their most private parts? YOU COULD FIND WAYS TO KNOCK ON THE DOOR AND BE WELCOMED IN YOU COULD REDUCE THE FEAR AND GET A FOOTHOLD INTO THEIR SOUL YOU COULD GAIN EMOTIONAL INTIMACY, FEEL WANTED, IMPORTANT, SPECIAL AND TREASURED.

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