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Sibling Rivalries in Adulthood May be Due to Invisible Childhood Trauma

By |2017-07-05T22:45:55+00:00February 27th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Family of Origin Counseling, relationship issues|

Blake got away with everything and Aaron was sick to death of having to pick up the slack for the sake of the business. He wanted to quit so that his parents would get a real taste of what it would be like without him, but a sense of loyalty and commitment stopped him from walking out and starting his own business- something he had thought of doing several times before, especially when he felt unfairly burdened by the weight of Blake’s nonchalance. For the rest of that week Aaron kept reminding his parents about how hard he worked and how much responsibility he took on. He wanted them to make things more equal between him and Blake but they just palmed him off with a pay raise or luxury travel vouchers. He felt that they favored Blake and expected him to carry his younger brother on his back.

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How to Repair Family Relationships That Get Broken With Repeated Hurts

By |2017-09-13T19:39:32+00:00February 23rd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, relationship issues|

Do you feel that you can't speak your mind because it will end in a misunderstanding, fight and hurt feelings? Are you regretful after you speak your truth because a loved one got upset and froze you out? Family relationship problems usually revolve around the way you make up after a relationship issue has caused tension, hurt, pain and anger. Maybe you feel guilty when you do speak your mind and then rush to compensate by being extra attentive to the family member who felt hurt by your remarks. You give your power to the one who feels wronged and then resent it later when you feel diminished by your enslavement towards atoning for your daring move to speak out. The relationship feels burdensome and heavy making you want to exit. You may cut it off so give yourself some relief. But it's harder to make up later. The effort and work that is needed to bring the relationship back to life is enormous. So why not learn how to repair family problems by taking care of the hurt before it turns into a gaping and lethal wound.

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The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empatically

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00February 19th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

At 8:00 pm one Wednesday night forty-three year dance teacher Erica was paying bills online when her forty-five year old partner Damien, a podiatrist, rushed into the room with a stack of papers that he wanted her to see. He was going on about being sued for malpractice, cussing out the patient and the lawyers. She waited till he finished and then told him it was a legal issue and went back to her bill paying. The tsunami of vitriol that Damien threw at her for not listening or caring made her speechless with rage.

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Self-Compassion Makes You the Partner You Want to be Toward Your Loved One

By |2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00February 13th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

After chiding her live- in boyfriend of five years, thirty-three year old boutique owner Nicole was full of self-loathing. She was angry that she had lost her temper with thirty-five year old car service manager Craig who was constantly letting her down. Nicole watched herself berate him for his sloppiness and half-finished chores. She saw Craig cringe and it reminded her of the times when her father laid into her for not doing as he expected. She didn’t want to be anything like her father. She was alarmed and ashamed that she behaved exactly like her dad, and wasn’t able to do anything to stop it.

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Where to Find a Boyfriend When the Current One is No Good?

By |2017-09-13T17:41:18+00:00February 6th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Dating, Intimacy, relationship issues|

As the six week new beauty product launch project wound down thirty-six year old Gina felt sad that the closeness and unity of the team was about to shatter as they all went their separate ways. She would miss the happy family they had created in order to get the job done, but understood that good things came to an end. What she couldn’t let go of was the fluttering of excitement and hope she felt when she thought about getting to know Brett on a more personal level.

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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

By |2017-09-11T18:14:31+00:00February 2nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

When you have tried as hard as you can to get through to your partner without success you may feel unheard, unseen and misunderstood. You try even harder to make your point, to show where you are coming from and what upsets you so much in the relationship. Your partner may be feeling equally frustrated and exasperated with failed attempts to get through to you about what's going on for them. So you both escalate, get even more angry and disappointed and worst of all you both end up terrified that you are never going to be able to communicate in a way that allows you to feel understood and attended to. Your arguments and fights get increasingly bitter with accusations and blame used as cannons in an attempt to break down the barricades of your partner's apparent refusal to see it your way. At that point you may think that the only way you can salvage the relationship is to go to couples therapy. Maybe an outside person can be more objective and act as a referee or mediator. Before you go to couples therapy, there are some crucial things you should be aware of:

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Is Family Conflict Making a Friend Out of One Loved One and an Enemy of Another?

By |2017-09-13T19:54:54+00:00January 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

After a heated argument about being late for dinner, thirty-four year Gemma threw insults at her forty year old husband Jordan who told her that she was overreacting. She stormed out of the house when she heard that he had been finishing an online checkers game with a manufacturing client in Russia. Inflamed at being so disrespected and getting no apology to boot, Gemma drove to her mother’s home with a rush of indignant adrenalin propelling her tired body. Her outrage spilled out before her mother Gloria could make sense of the latest problem that Gemma and Jordan cycled though in their stormy three year childless marriage.

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Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!

By |2017-09-13T18:44:37+00:00January 22nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Thirty-two year upwardly mobile grocery store manager Danny approached life with eager optimism. His colleagues and workers revered him for acknowledging their good points, but his thirty year old wife Rayna, a successful beautician threw his compliments in the trash as if they were dirty wasted hair clippings from her customers. Danny’s patience was tested to its limits one evening when he came home and found Rayna tearing her hair out with problems printing out flyers for a special offer at her salon.

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Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems

By |2017-09-11T18:47:25+00:00January 15th, 2013|Anger Issues, Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Gina a twenty-seven year old recent law school graduate was bubbling about her acceptance as an intern at a prestigious law firm. She jumped into the car when her thirty-two year old boyfriend Jake, vice-principle at an elementary school came to pick her up. She started talking excitedly before she strapped her seat belt on, but was gutted when she was abruptly cut off in mid- sentence. Three sentences in Jake sighed, avoided eye contact and told her he had to concentrate on the traffic.

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Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!

By |2017-09-13T20:47:38+00:00January 12th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Have you tried reading self-help books on making your relationship work and found the advice sensible but impractical? Perhaps you have been on couples retreats, gone to couples workshops and taken courses on communicating with your partner, gaining intimacy with your spouse and managing conflict with your loved one - but still not succeeded with any degree of consistency. There is a good reason why self-help materials and experiential workshops fail - and that is because you are being taught the skills that work for couples who can do relationships well naturally. They don't have to work through the same tensions, challenges and fears that you do. So when you come to putting those skills into practice the fears that you carry about losing your loved one, driving them away, being cheated on, not being good enough and so on get in the way of the success. It's not that you lack skills or need to learn new ones. It's the fears and insecurities producing relationship stress that get in your way.

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