dr_j_raymond, Author at LA Westside Therapy

Fear Based Rules About Feeling Secure in Your Relationship Can End It! Part 6
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Fear Based Rules About Feeling Secure in Your Relationship Can End It! Part 6

Anxiety therapy, relationship issues, separation counseling

Fear Based Rules About Feeling Secure in Your Relationship Can End It! Part 6

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00December 7th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues, separation counseling|

Do you often wonder if your partner finds you exciting enough or good enough? Are you constantly worrying about proving your love, commitment and loyalty? Are you living with the fear that they will find someone better and then going overboard to try and make yourself indispensable? Then you are probably insecure and have an unconscious rule about how to feel more secure. That rule may be that you have to fulfill all your partner's needs so that they become dependent on you, and that way they will never leave. Unfortunately it is a fear based rule which only adds stress and conflict to the relationship, making it more likely to end. You are probably experiencing a never ending cycle of fighting and making up and then fighting again.

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Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5
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Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner’s Behaviour – part 5

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 30th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Imagine your excitement planning the best celebration ever for your spouse on a big occasion. Everything is perfect and you have spent days and tons of money that you saved up for this event. You have been imagining the delight and joy on your partner's face. You looked forward to eternal gratitude, great sex, and your virtues being praised to all the family, friends and colleagues around. But your vision is destroyed when your spouse says thank you a few times and leaves it at that. Your disappointment that your partner is tired and doesn't want to keep celebrating is huge. You get angry that your partner is ungrateful and didn't show enough pleasure and for long enough to make your efforts and kind heart worthwhile. You start to show your resentment and your partner is at a loss as to why you are wanting more. The relationship gets tense, stressful and conflict is now the name of the game. And it's all because you had an unconscious rule about how your spouse should respond to your goodness.

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Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4
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Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 24th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you have a rule about not being needy in your relationship then you are likely to set up tension, cause arguments and wear the relationship down to the bone. That's what happened to one man who ended up frustrating his wife to such an extent that she avoided being in the same room as him when they were at home. Learn how this one very common rule about pretending not to be needy drove the couple to marriage counseling and finally got discovered, unraveled and discarded for more flexible and joint rules that reunited the couple.

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Don’t Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules – part 3
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Don’t Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules – part 3

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Don’t Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules – part 3

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 17th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you feel that all your efforts to get close to your partner fail because you can't synchronize your times to communicate? If you get mad that your partner isn't ready to share and iron out stuff between you at exactly the same time as you are, you may feel unequal and rejected. But, you may have an unwritten rule that says that relationships are supposed to work both people feel the same way at the same time which leads to massive disappointments and fear that the marriage is going down the drain.

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How Your Dating Rules Make Sure You Never Find The Partner You Want – part 2
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How Your Dating Rules Make Sure You Never Find The Partner You Want – part 2

Anxiety therapy, Dating, relationship issues

How Your Dating Rules Make Sure You Never Find The Partner You Want – part 2

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 10th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Dating, relationship issues|

If you date a lot but still come up short in meeting the right one for you, it's not because all the good ones are taken or that you are just picky! You are probably imposing a ton of strict one-sided rules about how you and a prospective date should behave. Your protocols strangle the natural flow of chemistry between you and you end up feeling like you have done your bit, but come up empty handed once again. Your clock is ticking out, and you are getting more and more desperate. Fear no more. Just watch this video and discover how one woman's constricting rules made sure that she would never be picked by someone who she was attracted to, and how she would never want to respond to a guy who seemed interested in her.

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Your Dating Rules May Be Ruining Your Chances of Making a Good Relationship – part 1
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Your Dating Rules May Be Ruining Your Chances of Making a Good Relationship – part 1

Anxiety therapy, Dating

Your Dating Rules May Be Ruining Your Chances of Making a Good Relationship – part 1

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00November 4th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Dating|

Are you doing everything right when you go out on a date? Are you taking all the opportunities to meet prospective partners that may appeal to you? Have you read all the books and blogs on dating tips or even hired a dating coach, yet still find yourself miserable, lonely and without hope? Then it's because you are operating on long held but old unconscious relationship rules that actually stifle your chances of enjoying and progressing with dating. You aren't aware of them because they are unconscious, but they rule you and you have little choice about it - UNTIL you uncover the rules and give yourself a reality check! Watch this video and learn how one man discovered his extremely burdensome personal dating rules that made the whole experience unappealing, so he would just tackle it like a job and couldn't wait to free himself of the noose around his neck.

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Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
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Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues

Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00September 25th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

“I want to feel like we are together!” is the most frequent goal I hear from partners when they come for couples therapy. But invariably each person has a totally different view and expectation of what it means to be ‘together.’ By the time they get into my office they are both exhausted, having tried and failed to convince each other that their version of togetherness is the one to aim for. They hoped that relationship counseling would prove one or other of them right and the other wro

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Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!
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Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00September 9th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Now that you are aware of the three most powerful forces that attract you towards a person who ultimately disappoints you and makes you miserable, the next step is to learn how to avoid those unconscious pitfalls that trap you unwittingly into the same old game plan. This video gives you the information you need to pause and reflect before you jump headlong into the excitement of uncertainty and the elation of having the power to change the person to your liking. Learn about the old relationship rules and expectations that unconsciously guide you into doing the same old thing over and over again and ending up just as burned and spent.

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The Third Magnet That Attracts You Towards The Wrong Life Partner
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The Third Magnet That Attracts You Towards The Wrong Life Partner

Anxiety therapy, relationship issues

The Third Magnet That Attracts You Towards The Wrong Life Partner

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00September 3rd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

Do you wish you had a crystal ball that you could look into and find out why you repeatedly go for the wrong person no matter how hard you try to avoid the same mistake? You may not realize it, but you do - deep inside you there is a shiny crystal ball that your unconscious peers at and it gets very excited when it finds three elements that make it go crazy with desire. You are not in control of these three forces, but you can be, by tuning into this, the third in the series of videos that gives you the low down on what the pull that these magnets have on you. Once you become aware of the three magnetic forces that act in unison ( which is why they are so difficult to eradicate) you will have a chance to pause and bring your healthy self to protect you from these strong and powerful magnets that attract you to the 'same person' even though they may look and sound different at first.

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Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again – part 2
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Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again – part 2

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again – part 2

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00August 26th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Are you getting worried and anxious about the fact that you always seem to get attracted to people who either don't want you, or that turn out to be nothing like you imagined? Have you ever wondered why you don't seem to feel any chemistry with the people who seem to be steady, reliable and solid? Perhaps you have been in a relationship with someone who treated you well and that you could count on, but then found yourself drawn to someone else who made you tingle and kept yur heart bubbling with excitement. You may be pulled by the need for a certain feeling of being fully alive and on fire that reliable partners don't ignite. Watch this video and learn about the second reason why you keep getting attracted to, and pick the wrong partner.

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