dr_j_raymond, Author at LA Westside Therapy

What Frowning Reveals About the Stress Level of Your Marriage
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What Frowning Reveals About the Stress Level of Your Marriage

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, stress

What Frowning Reveals About the Stress Level of Your Marriage

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-29T20:02:17+00:00May 3rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, stress|

After nine years of marriage bringing up three children , thirty-two-year-old Maria faced each day reluctantly. Her body felt heavy and the thought of doing another endless round of chores at home and after school activities with her kids made her head and neck hurt. Her thirty-four-year-old husband Carl’s invitation to take her out to dinner barely blipped on her radar. She registered his intention to be kind and cheer her up but within 10 seconds of acknowledging it, her forehead creased up in a tightly knitted frown, just as it had been before he made the offer.

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What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About Your Marital Satisfaction?
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What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About Your Marital Satisfaction?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About Your Marital Satisfaction?

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00April 18th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Sleeping in the same bed with her partner Damien at night could be ‘heavenly’ or ‘beastly’ for thirty-seven-year-old florist, Annabel. Sometimes she wanted to mold her body around his, but at other times she felt suffocated by his very presence in the bed. At those times turning her back on him was the only way she could doze off.

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How To Behave When You Start Dating Again After A Break

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00April 11th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, separation counseling|

Are you getting ready to re-enter the dating scene after a break or finding yourself newly single? Do you worry about what to say and how much to disclose in the first few dates? Maybe you are concerned about whether you are interesting enough to hold the attention of a prospective date! These are common worries and reflect some insecurity about yourself, perhaps because you have had bad experiences of dating. But, you have made the decision to date and you'd like some tips on the best way to approach it after reentering the dating scene. This video gives you the inside scoop on exactly how to be with yourself and your date so that you have the best chance of success in that moment and in the future if things work out.

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Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?
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Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues

Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?

By dr_j_raymond|2018-10-15T23:28:18+00:00March 21st, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Are you frustrated with having good people in your life but no one that sparks that romantic fire? Do you find yourself irresistibly attracted to someone who is hot and steamy, but does nothing for you in the friendship department? Perhaps you wonder whether you will ever find a person whom you could trust and rely on while also having good sex. It's probable that you are keeping these two needs so separate that you have to split yourself in half in order to satisfy both parts. But it doesn't have to be that way - if you figure out what purpose it serves to tear yourself into two pieces.

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Procrastinating About an Ambition May Be the Key To Authentic Success!
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Procrastinating About an Ambition May Be the Key To Authentic Success!

relationship issues

Procrastinating About an Ambition May Be the Key To Authentic Success!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00March 14th, 2014|relationship issues|

At 38 years of age April was divorced with two preteens and a boring job that paid the bills. But she was no nearer realizing her goals of becoming a fashion designer, with boutiques all over the world and the glitterati salivating for her next collection. She kept telling herself that one day she would go to college, get her fine arts degree and then set fire to the world with her brilliant clothes. Yet something always got in the way – the kids needed her – she was too tired to go to college and bring up her children – it cost too much – it would take too long – she was too old - no one would like her designs – she didn’t want to market her work – she didn’t have the money to invest in a business, and on it went. April was highly skilled in creating obstacles that felt insurmountable just when it seemed that there was no excuse for not following her dream.

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Dealing With Jealousy When Your Partner is Attracted to Someone Else
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Dealing With Jealousy When Your Partner is Attracted to Someone Else

Anxiety therapy

Dealing With Jealousy When Your Partner is Attracted to Someone Else

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00February 27th, 2014|Anxiety therapy|

Twenty-six year old salad bar manager Dominque’s stomach churned as she pictured her twenty-nine-year-old finance Terry, a copy editor, in a cozy chat with his colleague Brenda at their office party last month. There was something about the way they locked eyes and sidled up to one-and-other that sent jolts of bitter jealousy all through her body. Well, she wasn’t going to fade away into the background at Terry’s office party tonight, seething with jealousy, waiting to punish Terry on the ride home. This time she was going armed with an arsenal of weapons that were the perfect match for Brenda’s seductive qualities.

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Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it – part 10
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Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it – part 10

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it – part 10

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00January 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Do you have specific criteria for what you accept as a loving act, a loving word or stance? If so you may be excluding a whole host of interactions that are loving but that don't fall within your parameters. You end up feeling left out, empty, not valued and bitter. This video tells the story of just such a man for whom the only genuine love was pity, putting him permanently in the victim role.

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Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9
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Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9

By dr_j_raymond|2019-02-16T17:14:49+00:00January 6th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

If you spend much of your life waiting for that fairy godmother to come and wave her magic wand, to make you happy, BUT go to bed each night angry that you got left out again, THEN You'll probably find yourself envying other people who are smiling, happy and satisfied with their relationships. And it's all because you have an unconscious rule about who, what, when, and how you ought to be happy. The one missing ingredient is what role you play in that combination of factors.

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Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8
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Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues

Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00December 20th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you are struggling with finding a lasting relationship that you can enjoy no matter how stressful the ups and downs, it's likely that you have some deep and powerful unconscious rules about what makes people stick together. You may think that love and attraction are enough to maintain commitment and loyalty but underneath you probably believe that you have to be a certain way, act and think in a specific fashion AND MOST OF ALL that your partner has to do the same. These rules prevent you from giving the relationship a chance to find it's feet. You can't even get to first base because your unconscious relationship rules make you heightened to WHAT IS ABSENT rather than build and shape healthy intimacy, trust and security.

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Rules About Being Your Partner’s Savior Harm Your Relationship – part 7
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Rules About Being Your Partner’s Savior Harm Your Relationship – part 7

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues

Rules About Being Your Partner’s Savior Harm Your Relationship – part 7

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00December 13th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Are you in a constant state of anxiety about not being good enough for your partner? Do you find yourself alert to everything and anything that may make your partner upset and then try and fix it right away? Then your unconscious rule about relationships being based on rescuing your partner from every tiny negative feeling or experience will sour the connections.

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