“I want to feel like we are together!” is the most frequent goal I hear from partners when they come for couples therapy. But invariably each person has a totally different view and expectation of what it means to be ‘together.’ By the time they get into my office they are both exhausted, having tried and failed to convince each other that their version of togetherness is the one to aim for. They hoped that relationship counseling would prove one or other of them right and the other wro
Now that you are aware of the three most powerful forces that attract you towards a person who ultimately disappoints you and makes you miserable, the next step is to learn how to avoid those unconscious pitfalls that trap you unwittingly into the same old game plan. This video gives you the information you need to pause and reflect before you jump headlong into the excitement of uncertainty and the elation of having the power to change the person to your liking. Learn about the old relationship rules and expectations that unconsciously guide you into doing the same old thing over and over again and ending up just as burned and spent.
Do you wish you had a crystal ball that you could look into and find out why you repeatedly go for the wrong person no matter how hard you try to avoid the same mistake? You may not realize it, but you do - deep inside you there is a shiny crystal ball that your unconscious peers at and it gets very excited when it finds three elements that make it go crazy with desire. You are not in control of these three forces, but you can be, by tuning into this, the third in the series of videos that gives you the low down on what the pull that these magnets have on you. Once you become aware of the three magnetic forces that act in unison ( which is why they are so difficult to eradicate) you will have a chance to pause and bring your healthy self to protect you from these strong and powerful magnets that attract you to the 'same person' even though they may look and sound different at first.
Are you getting worried and anxious about the fact that you always seem to get attracted to people who either don't want you, or that turn out to be nothing like you imagined? Have you ever wondered why you don't seem to feel any chemistry with the people who seem to be steady, reliable and solid? Perhaps you have been in a relationship with someone who treated you well and that you could count on, but then found yourself drawn to someone else who made you tingle and kept yur heart bubbling with excitement. You may be pulled by the need for a certain feeling of being fully alive and on fire that reliable partners don't ignite. Watch this video and learn about the second reason why you keep getting attracted to, and pick the wrong partner.
Do you think there is something wrong with you because you keep picking the wrong partner? -Do you wonder why you keep getting attracted to the wrong people? There are three reasons why you are compelled to feel a thrill when you meet someone who appears to be exactly what you have been searching for, but ends up disappointing you and stressing you out. It's true that you are searching for a certain person who you want to relate to but you end up feeling defeated and depleted. This video explains the first and most powerful reason why the right person into the wrong partner.
Are you bothered when your partner blames you for being unresponsive to something they said or did, yet shuts you down the minute you try to share your feelings? You must be intensely frustrated caught in this catch twenty-two trap. That’s exactly how thirty-two year sales director Ian felt when his twenty-nine year old partner Chantal, an office manager, poked and prodded him about whether he enjoyed the elaborate celebration dinner she had thrown for him when he got his recent job promotion. He had been surprised and touched and thanked her during the party. But she kept on fishing for more, wanting to know every detail of his experience after all the guests had gone and well into the next week. She would bring it up out of nowhere irrespective of what they were doing or talking about. If he didn’t jump up and down with joy and praise her for her thoughtfulness she accused him of not liking the party and just pretending to enjoy himself. If he reassured her that it made him happy she countered with the suggestion that he was just saying it to be polite.
Bursting with energy and excitement thirty-three year old Evelyn closed up her jewelry design studio and took Greg her thirty-four year old boyfriend to his second interview for the position of assistant chef at the hottest restaurant in town! As usual he was broke and couldn’t afford to put gas in his car. But when she got there he was irritable and snapped at her no matter how much she tried to boost his confidence. By the time they reached the restaurant she was already regretting helping him out, vowing never to bother again! Ever since she saw the job advertised online she had encouraged him to go for it, hoping that he would make something of himself. She wanted a partner on her level of the social and career ladder and if that meant she had to yank him up to be her equal, then that is what she resolved to do. After years of debating grappling with the question, "how do you find a good guy?" she had finally found one, but he needed polishing and shaping up to be even better.
Do you feel that your partner is always putting you down and being superior? Do you want to outdo them at their game? Are you always in competition with one another about who is the more moral, the greater lover, the better at remembering the important things in life? Then your goals may be misaligned, causing stress and risk to your marriage. This video shows you how to detect the motivation behind your goals so that you can evaluate whether your marriage is at risk.
The way in which you greet and receive your partner after a separation be it momentary for days longs says everything about the health and security of your relationship. Even the shortest of separations from loved ones can cause stress before and after the actual parting. Whether you and your partner separate and reunite every day one of you leaves the other to go to work, to make a phone call to someone else or have to make longer trips that involve a chunk of time away from one another, the disturbance in your emotional state can make reunions uncomfortable. The more insecure you are in your relationship the more uncomfortable and stressful the reunion which may take several minutes, hours, days or weeks to be fully realized.
For the seventh time in less than a minute twenty-five year old Denise, a proof reader, found herself checking that she had marked the page she ended on before she closed the book. Each time she put the book down and tried to get out of her chair a huge wave of anxiety and panic swept over her. She couldn’t be sure she had marked the last page she had read and that meant that she would have to start the book all over again. As the panic washed over her she ‘knew’ that she had marked the page but she wasn’t positive until she had checked again. A blanket of relief came over her when she found the page marked, but it was instantly replaced by another dose of doubt that started the checking cycle all over again. It was as if she couldn’t hold on to that proof for more than a Nano second. Irritation and annoyance gave her a break from the anxiety and panic, but she was exhausted with these obsessive doubts, and her compulsive checking.