If someone says they 'understand' and then sets out to change your feelings you are unlikely to feel truly understood. For you to feel like you are fully tuned into, takes acceptance and tolerance. When you are being pushed to change there is no tolerance for your feelings and that is what makes you feel unheard and misunderstood.
It's a great feeling to feel truly understood. It's very disappointing and frustrating when friends and loved ones say they understand you but show impatience, want you to change or shift your mood. There are two key elements in feeling understood. The first is acceptance but in very specific way. Learn about the many ways you can show and feel accepted in order to experience the sense of being understood and doing the same for your loved ones.
If you are waiting for your partner to give you permission to be an equal in the relationship then you probably feel invisible and judged unfairly. Learn three ways in which you can retrain your brain circuits so that you let love and comfort in, become visible and feel valued.
when one partner wants emotional caring and the other wants actions and tangible evidence of love it causes relationship stress. Marriages and partnerships come under strain. Stress overload makes one or both partner's ill. Illness such as infections and pain can reflect the stress and stimulate a compromise that helps you and your loved find an acceptable point of agreement for giving what is needed and accepting what is offered even if it isn't your preferred or ideal way.
When you can't seem to get through to your loved ones or they don't believe what you say it may be because you are giving mixed messages even though you feel clear and direct in your messages. Learn how to get all parts of your message in synch by orchestrating your emotions in an open and transparent way so that you come across as credible. Then you can have a dialogue based on what's really going on inside you rather than what others misinterpret or distort.
Keeping silent to protect your partner from feeling bad actually makes them feel worse. They get stressed, suspicious and feel estranged from you. Research indicates that avoiding one another works against successful relationships, and constant worry about the feelings of your partner makes you dissatisfied and want to opt out. Learn 3 ways to communicate honestly and build healthy connections.
Is yours a volatile marriage prone to conflict and likely to break up, or a validating marriage that is happy and supportive? Find out by reading this article and get 8 tips on changing your marriage from a volatile to a validating successful marriage.
Don't let your emotional roller coaster make you feel insecure in your relationships. Why go from feeling ecstatic one minute to invisible the next. Learn how to manage your feelings so that you stay connected and ride out the bad times by holding onto and using the good moments when you store and access them to your advantage. Save yourself the hassle and stress of unpredictable interactions by watching this video and learning how to keep a balanced emotional connection with your loved ones.
Dealing with personal failure by blaming someone or something else leads to bitterness, hostility and sickness. Stress put on the relationships destabilizes your immune system and makes it even more difficult for you to function and achieve your goals. Learn 3 ways to avoid blame and bitterness by collaborating with your loved ones and managing the negative emotions to protect your health and enjoy relationship stability.
If you live life bracing yourself for the next attack of unfair blame that you expect to come your way from loved ones, then you are not living at all! Get a practical tip in this video about how to listen and interpret what you hear as putting the responsibility on your shoulders for everything that goes wrong. Get out of the blame, shame and revenge cycles that destroy relationships. Open up conversations that put you on an equal footing with your loved ones, so you can enjoy your connections.
