Relationship Advice Tips from Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
Ladies, did you know that men aren’t just interested in sex and actually want to play and have fun with you?
Research published in July 2014 from Columbia University School of Public Health found that young men want emotional closeness and not just sex.
The American Sociology Society reported in August 2014 that it is women who have affairs do so for the sex when their passions aren’t met by their husbands – they aren’t interested in emotional intimacy or divorce.
When you get too serious about being the ‘perfect’ partner your man feels that he no longer means anything to you, except a trophy, a ‘Mr. Fixit’ or an object of sex – just so you get to feel like you are doing your duty as a mate.
You don’t get your sexual needs met because you give the impression of being more interested in fulfilling your role expectations than enjoying him and a love life together.
Your man wants you to see him as the apple of your eye and enjoy hanging with him, without trying to impress him with your beauty treatments, fancy lingerie or top chef cooking.
You are enough just as you are, with your hair down and without the makeup.
It’s your emotional availability that makes you precious and sexy, playful and exciting, fun and relaxing. Be each others best friends rather than the “good” wife or girlfriend.
Absent these things – and your man will look elsewhere for the togetherness that makes him feel wanted and special.
Here is an extract from the Afterward of my book ‘Now You Want Me Now You Don’t!
“When men cheat, in the majority of cases the main purpose is to force their partners to hear, soothe, and care for them, and above all to be elevated to the number one slot in the woman’s life. I have found that, in many cases, is a last-ditch attempt to show their wives how desperate they are for nurturing without asking for it in a way that shames them. Unfortunately, it has the opposite effect: Men are shut out of their primary relationship even more and deprived of the only closeness they did have – sexual intercourse. At this point, however, many men opt to continue their affairs to maintain some self-esteem through their mistresses, who no doubt are insatiable for time and contact with them. Just as women who cheat often enjoy the exhilaration of being in control, so men opt for the power of having an alternate woman who salivates at the sound of their voices. But deep inside, they want their partner to reclaim them and give them all the adoration and care that they got from their paramour.” Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
So get emotionally naked with your partner and share yourself that way. The passion will come when you are both equally relaxed, not playing roles and have zero expectations of one another.
Listen to my interview on The Steven Knight Show about the things men really want and how to get close to your woman. (scroll to 50 minutes into the audio to hear this segment).
AUTHOR OF ‘Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Fear of Intimacy: ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationships.”
Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.
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Disclaimer: this article is for informational and educative purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may have when reading the content or using the suggestions therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Jeanette Raymond
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