Late on Saturday night thirty year old beautician Elaine sat alone in her apartment after a terrible fight with her thirty-two year boyfriend Dave. She was horrified when Dave lost his cool and accused her of disrespecting him by keeping her whereabouts a secret. Trying to defend herself led to a big fight which ended when she told him to leave. Two hours later Dave was frantic with worry.
You had a fight with your partner and they aren't speaking to you. Your spouse leaves to stay to with a friend or family member. You start to worry about whether you should just give it a little time or whether it means that your marriage is going to break up. After a day or so of not seeing one another, you send a ton of text messages and calls to your partner and get no response for several hours or even a whole day. You get anxious and start thinking about who your spouse is with, and what they are doing. You start imagining your partner cheating, or forgetting about you You find yourself looking back over the last few weeks and months for signs that your partner was lying and cheating that you ignored at the time
Do you find yourself tuning off from the person you are with when you know there is going to be a temporary break in your relationship? Is your mind already thinking about the next person or group you are going to be meeting while you are still with your current friend or partner? Then you are probably trying to protect yourself from the pain of separating before it happens by shutting it down while you still have power over it. You may get a sense of control by turning the tap off rather than waiting for it to run dry. But you end up depriving yourself of the love and security that is available for you to enjoy and stock up on.
So you finally got up the nerve to break up with your partner who just wasn't a good fit! The relief is wonderful, but in creeps some doubt, some guilt, some loneliness! The stress is overwhelming! You notice a hole in your life that gets bigger, and that makes you wonder if you did the right thing. You go back and for with wanting to get back together and enjoying the relief of not having to take care of someone else's feelings. How do you fill that hole and feel good about your decision to do what was right for you?
Faye often fantasized about leaving and finding a more responsive partner. She imagined a more loving and thankful man who valued her empathy, her consideration and her willingness to give him space to fulfill his ambition. That’s what she had hoped to get from Kyle, but that was now a lost cause. Faye found herself getting irritable with Kyle, finding fault with him just for breathing and avoiding any physical contact. Their relationship had become a tension filled balloon about to burst as it ran out of air!
If you are torn between being yourself but risking the rejection of loved ones in the process then you are stressed and it may come out in the form of lower back pain, reflecting unbearable burdens that you can't deal with. Discover how to find your power and strength to be yourself, grow and develop while hanging onto your relationships, provided you are up for some changes in the nature of the relationship.
Is your relationship really breaking up or just shifting to accommodate changing needs in order to survive? Discover the three myths about breaking up and learn about the three truths about relationship breakups that allow you to maintain and improve the connections after the initial shock.
Pretending you aren't hurt when things go wrong in your relationships may make you feel strong in the moment. But suppressed and denied hurt turns into hostile contempt and wish for revenge- the ideal recipe for breakups and divorce. Learn how to express your hurt without being accusatory or punishing. Make room for feeling better and more connected when you have given your hurt it's rightful voice.
Relationship Advice Tips By Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. Announcing a divorce is shocking and painful Gerald came home after a business trip and announced to Beatrice that he wanted a divorce. The shock of it made Beatrice stop breathing for a few seconds. She froze in a state of complete disbelief. For a moment there [...]
