Intimacy Archives - Page 4 of 22 - LA Westside Therapy

Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop
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Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop

Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Keeping Score: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly: Then Stop

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T16:54:49+00:00March 17th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Pinning you down to score points Remember those fights when your partner brought up all the 'nasty' things you said and did, as if they were being read from a score sheet? That's often how loved ones track each others sins of omission and sins of commission. Fired up with indignation and fury when there is tension between you, they mentally read from that score sheet to bury you in one fell swoop, so that they can feel vindicated. Perhaps you do the same thing without knowing it. Maybe you too make mental notes of the things you wanted your partner to do and felt slighted when you were let down. It's likely that you can predict the moment your partner is going to go 'off' on a tirade, bringing up all the garbage from the past to make you feel like the devil incarnate. Ever wondered why you and your partner relate in this way?

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How to Tell the Difference Betwen Being Needy and Being Dependent
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How to Tell the Difference Betwen Being Needy and Being Dependent

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

How to Tell the Difference Betwen Being Needy and Being Dependent

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00March 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

One of the most common fears people have in romantic relationships is about being needy. It arouses shame, followed by a massive attempt to compensate. Often it takes the form of becoming totally self-sufficient to the point of avoiding all social contact. The result: isolation, lack of emotional intimacy, leading to insecurity and depression – which in turn makes you more ‘needy.’

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The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine
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The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy

The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00February 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

Just imagine getting lots of hugs, hand holds, heads on shoulders, gentle touches of reassurance and looks of love? Wouldn't that be satisfying if you could count on that every day from your valentine? Now switch and consider how much your valentine wants the same affectionate interactions from and with you! Put that on your mental list of ways to show love and be loved. Then take a panoramic shot of how often you and your loved one reciprocate affection as a routine way of interacting!

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Seven Reasons You Might Collude With Your Partner To Flirt With Your Best Friend
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Seven Reasons You Might Collude With Your Partner To Flirt With Your Best Friend

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Seven Reasons You Might Collude With Your Partner To Flirt With Your Best Friend

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 6th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Does it bother you when you catch your partner flirting with your best friend? Do you swing from thinking it's good that they are pals, to wondering if both of them are betraying you? It must be very uncomfortable for you to be caught in this trap. Do you confront one or other and risk being seen as overly sensitive or jealous? What if you hurt one or both when they feel that you mistrust them and that the friendship and romantic relationship are in jepoardy? Do you wait to see what develops? Do you nip things in the bud?

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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!
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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling

How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00December 23rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Do you constantly weight up the pros and cons of breaking up and separating, hoping against hope that some miracle will happen and save you from bitter disappointment? Then there is definitely something there that you can work on. You don't really want to separate, but you can't live a life of pretense any longer. You missed out on premarital counseling when you might have seen more of your partner and revised your ideas of married life. So what can you do now?

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Four Reasons Why PreMarital Counseling Ensures You Truly Know The Person You Plan to Marry
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Four Reasons Why PreMarital Counseling Ensures You Truly Know The Person You Plan to Marry

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Four Reasons Why PreMarital Counseling Ensures You Truly Know The Person You Plan to Marry

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00November 26th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Filled with excitement and carried away by romance you imagine the fairy tale of living happily ever after. You do everything you can to protect yourself against anticipating the adjustments you will have to make when living together as fallible human beings. But marriage turns the rose colored glasses you wore into lenses of disappointment, resentment, anger and mistrust - especially when your impending marriage is primarily an exit strategy from controlling or rejecting and abandoning parents.

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Two Signs That Your Partner is Not a Commitment Phobe, Just Not Into You!
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Two Signs That Your Partner is Not a Commitment Phobe, Just Not Into You!

Anxiety therapy, Intimacy

Two Signs That Your Partner is Not a Commitment Phobe, Just Not Into You!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00November 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Have you ever wondered whether your partner doesn't want you, or doesn't want to commit to anyone? You've probably tried hard to evoke that spark in your partner that touches your heart and makes you feel like you are "the one!" Sometimes you feel he has finally chosen to invest in you, and a few days later you feel empty as he withdraws the total deposit! Is he Jekyll and Hyde? He says all the right things and does what's expected but you can tell his heart isn't into it. You are left confused and wondering whether there is something wrong with him whether you are the problem. Your friends and family tell you that your partner is probably a commitment phobe! But how do you find out if he isn't interested in committing to anyone, or just to you.

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Five Ways to Shift From the “I” Body Language to the “We” Stance in Your Relationship
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Five Ways to Shift From the “I” Body Language to the “We” Stance in Your Relationship

Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues

Five Ways to Shift From the “I” Body Language to the “We” Stance in Your Relationship

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 31st, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you know what messages your body language gives your partner? Do you know how to read the signals of defense rather than togetherness? When you are fighting for your point of you, to be made right, and win the battle, then your relationship is in jeopoardy. So alert yourself to the behaviors that stress the "I" part of you, where the couple part is demoted. Then tune into the behaviors that stress the "we" part of the couple so your relationship can survive and thrive.

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Bullet Proof Your Relationship Against Your Partner Leaving You
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Bullet Proof Your Relationship Against Your Partner Leaving You

Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, separation counseling

Bullet Proof Your Relationship Against Your Partner Leaving You

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Imagine if your partner suddenly said they were going to leave you? Would you be shocked, shaken, stunned and destabilized? You would feel insecure and stressed. Then you were probably imagining that everything was fine and that you had the near perfect relationship. Hardly any arguments, shared jobs and good sex. But what about the emotional intimacy?

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Ten Things You Should Never Do On A First Date
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Ten Things You Should Never Do On A First Date

Dating, Intimacy

Ten Things You Should Never Do On A First Date

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00September 29th, 2014|Dating, Intimacy|

First dates can make you nervous because you have high hopes but fear being disappointed. You don't know whether you will be good enough for your date, or whether your partner will meet your requirements. All this pressure can wreck your date if you don't get grounded Your date will go fine is you are present in the here-and-now The best way of being present and available for a date is to avoid the following ten things

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