Anger and Stress Management Tips for Satisfying Relationships by Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D. Sam is overwhelmed with expectations of criticism The night before Sam was to meet his successful friend, his head throbbed with pain. A humdinger of a migraine was coming on. His left eyelid went into a uncontrollable spasm. He started to feel [...]
Do you keep silent in conversations with certain of your friends and or loved ones because you think there is no point talking? Are you anticipating being made to feel silly, stupid, and then shut down? Perhaps you decide to just get through the interaction without taking the risk, but you pay a price of gagging yourself. Does the anger build later on? Do you fume and try to exert yourself in other ways to compensate? Whatever you do, the same fear rules you and makes relationships stressful and unsatisfying. Unless you find your sense of entitlement to be a player and participate. Watch this video and you will find out how to do that so that you don't have to suffer that old anticipatory fear that keeps you small, silent and furious. Give yourself the pleasure of making sure you have healthy emotional intimacy that is the foundation of all good relationships.
The call came at 1:00 a.m. The call that never should have come. The call that Bruce would have moved heaven and earth to prevent. The call that ended everything when an apologetic voice dealt the fatal blow - his wife had suffered a heart attack at work and died. Relentless Guilt Tortured Him Bruce went through the motions as the autopsy, funeral and aftermath took their course. He allowed friends and relatives to take care of the arrangements, acting as an obedient robot. He lost his appetite and had trouble sleeping. The pills his doctor prescribed forced his shocked mind and body to switch off. He was glad when exhaustion took over, so he could get a break from the relentless guilt that tortured his every waking moment.
Max wanted the world to stop at the precise moment before his fall. Responding to medications, surgeries and encouragements would be a betrayal of his prior life. Max allowed his body to be treated, but his soul was absent. He didn't want to participate fully and become a traitor to his hopes and ambitions. Transition to a new life was treachery. By keeping his prior existence on life support, Max sabotaged his chances of getting better. His physical pain and mobility problems became the symbols of the past he refused to let go of, and a future he refused to acknowledge.
Tim was crushed. A massive lump in his throat choked off his voice of gut wrenching shock and disbelief. He felt as if a bomb had gone off inside him, blowing him up into a pile of unrecognizable smithereens. He was shaking with indignation. He was loyal, and trustworthy. He never abused Josie, or gave her any cause to doubt his commitment. He was nothing like his father who got drunk every other night and made the rest of the family pay for his bad feelings. How could Josie possibly put him in the same category?
Three days later the dream came true Donna was asked to do an acting part for a commercial. Normally she would have felt ugly, heavy, unattractive and not fit for the role. But after her dream she allowed her fellow actor to put his arm around her without thinking that she was disgusting to him. She didn't go through her usual checklist of all the reasons why she shouldn't be hired, and that she was only being used to make a point about fat people.
Restless nights, irritability and loss of interest in sex made Gene worry about Loretta. He wanted to know what was wrong and how to help her. But every time he asked, she just brushed him aside and said " Oh, nothing. It’s fine, I've got it covered." Loretta couldn't hide anymore. Her migraines were so bad she had to stay home from work. She couldn't eat and felt like crying all the time. It was just too much. She was falling apart and couldn't get through her day without excessive worry. She felt out of control.
The dream portrayed her future with vivid accuracy. Maggie's leap into penniless self-employment was symbolized by the train smashing her belongings and leaving her naked. As Maggie recalled the dream, she did something she had never done before. She put aside the shame that prevented her from asking for help, and accepted rides, ate with neighbors and borrowed tools. The dream voice said "If you want to be a successful artist, let people 'clothe' you with the support you need." Maggie's dream gave her the key to a treasure chest that was buried under layers of pride. At the time of greatest need Maggie used the key. She threw away her stubborn independence and let the dream empower, reassure and guide her along her chosen path.
The next day Andrea heard that her father had died the same day she had her peaceful dream. The parent that nourished Andrea during her emotional storms had now died, just as the old Oak in the dream. Andrea's dream came to foretell her loss, comfort her and help her grieve.
It's frustrating when your partner keeps expecting you to be the same loser as their ex partner or date. No matter how many times you remind your partner that you are different it doesn't seem to sink in. You feel weighted down by having to prove that you are better, more loving, more considerate and more honest. You are in a fight to show your good self but the burden of your partner's expectations is overwhelming. Before you erupt in a fit of pique at the blatant injustice of being tarred with the same bad brush learn how you can stop the unfair expectation in its tracks.