Were you brought up to believe that if you suffering is the road to earning love? Do you expect the same from your loved ones? If so your life may be all suffering and no love! Learn how to recognize, accept and receive love in ways that don't force others to be sacrifical nor turn you into a dried up lonely and angry family member.
Do you feel as if you are on a distant planet when you are with a group of friends or family? Are you lost and lonely not knowing how to get in and feel like you belong? Perhaps you feel like an invisible onlooker rather than an active participant? It's a sad and scary feeling, to be among people you like and love, yet feel so cut off. Maybe you wish someone would see how much you want to be included and bring you into the fold! The problem is that the people in the group have no idea how isolated you feel and think that you are comfortable on the sidelines.
Do you find yourself tuning off from the person you are with when you know there is going to be a temporary break in your relationship? Is your mind already thinking about the next person or group you are going to be meeting while you are still with your current friend or partner? Then you are probably trying to protect yourself from the pain of separating before it happens by shutting it down while you still have power over it. You may get a sense of control by turning the tap off rather than waiting for it to run dry. But you end up depriving yourself of the love and security that is available for you to enjoy and stock up on.
Are you so eager to see friends or loved ones that you haven't seen for a while that you miss out on what is available to you in the moment? Do you find yourself imagining the future with your long lost connections that you dismiss or devalue what you are receiving in the here and now? Then you are doing a great disservice to yourself and to the people you are with. You are depriving yourself of feeling loved and wanted by those actually with you, and giving them the message that they are no longer on your radar. That can make it hard when you want to reconnect or when you feel the loss of them down the road. You may be afraid that you have to push the old stuff away to make room for the new, but that isn't true.
Do you find yourself telling little white lies to avoid arguments or to avoid hurting or enraging a friend, loved one or colleague? Then you are not alone. It’s human and understandable when you want to get out of a mess or stop one from happening. But did you know that even the smallest of lies can make you sick, feel bad about yourself, demotivate you and ultimately destroy your relationships? A crisis that rocked Winston’s peace of mind forced him to come to terms with the damage he was doing to himself when he constantly lied to his girlfriend and others in the mistaken belief that he was taking care of their feelings. After a series of lies that became part of his way of keeping the status quo he found himself with a constant sinus infection, fatigue and anxiety about his self-worth.
No matter how patient he was or how many allowances he made, at the end of the day he felt dumped. Just as he was looking forward to looking for a house and planning the details of the wedding Sheila backed out saying she couldn’t go through with it. She wasn’t ready. She was very sorry, especially as this was a repeat of what had happened before, but it wasn’t going to work out. Neville was in shock. This was the closest he had ever gotten to tying the knot with someone he was nuts about, and it all fell apart. Would he ever get married? Would he ever find that magic that his parents seemed to have and that he desperately wanted to capture?
Do you cringe when your partner starts venting ? Does it feel like your partner is venting at you and that you just have to take it? Are you afraid that if you don't absorb the attack you won't exist for your partner? Then you are caught in a tight spot. It's stressful when power games are at play. Your wish to be something important even if it is a bag for your partner to dump all their anger and frustration, prevents you from showing up as a human being with feelings, on a equal footing with your partner. Watch this video and learn how to allow the venting but not let the attack destroy you for the sake of being connected.
Restless nights, irritability and loss of interest in sex made Gene worry about Loretta. He wanted to know what was wrong and how to help her. But every time he asked, she just brushed him aside and said " Oh, nothing. It’s fine, I've got it covered." Loretta couldn't hide anymore. Her migraines were so bad she had to stay home from work. She couldn't eat and felt like crying all the time. It was just too much. She was falling apart and couldn't get through her day without excessive worry. She felt out of control.
It's frustrating when your partner keeps expecting you to be the same loser as their ex partner or date. No matter how many times you remind your partner that you are different it doesn't seem to sink in. You feel weighted down by having to prove that you are better, more loving, more considerate and more honest. You are in a fight to show your good self but the burden of your partner's expectations is overwhelming. Before you erupt in a fit of pique at the blatant injustice of being tarred with the same bad brush learn how you can stop the unfair expectation in its tracks.
Labor day weekend! Vivian was alone. Peace, quiet, rest and recreation. She didn’t have to put on her face and pretend to be perfect! What a relief to put that burden down just for a day or two. After a lazy morning Vivian ate a delicious lunch and read her novel, napping every so often. Bliss! Yet there was an odd sensation in the pit of her stomach. She was getting some acid reflux and there was an uneasy feeling in her bones. A sad anxiety took her mind away from the book. She began to get upset that no one ever asked her to spend holidays with them. Everyone was part of a couple and she was left out!
