Couples Counseling Archives - Page 5 of 5

The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine
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The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy

The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00February 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

Just imagine getting lots of hugs, hand holds, heads on shoulders, gentle touches of reassurance and looks of love? Wouldn't that be satisfying if you could count on that every day from your valentine? Now switch and consider how much your valentine wants the same affectionate interactions from and with you! Put that on your mental list of ways to show love and be loved. Then take a panoramic shot of how often you and your loved one reciprocate affection as a routine way of interacting!

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Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy
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Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, relationship issues

Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 20th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Recently a woman brought her male partner into therapy to make him confess to seeing other women, because she 'knew' he was playing around. You can guess how that went down! He felt cornered as if he had been forced into a confessional in the guise of having 'therapy' which is generally considered useful and validating. She felt vindicated that I was seeing the lying side of him, while frustrated that I wasn't browbeating him into admitting what she already 'knew' about his transgressions. I felt like I was being put in the role of a principal of a school with a teacher bringing me a naughty boy to be punished - unwilling to take on that mantle. Couples therapy often fails to take off because the intentions of one or other of the partners is to make the other feel bad. They say they want to work on the relationship but when it comes down to it, the partner that instigated the therapy usually wants to shame, blame and reclaim the control.

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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!
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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling

How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00December 23rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Do you constantly weight up the pros and cons of breaking up and separating, hoping against hope that some miracle will happen and save you from bitter disappointment? Then there is definitely something there that you can work on. You don't really want to separate, but you can't live a life of pretense any longer. You missed out on premarital counseling when you might have seen more of your partner and revised your ideas of married life. So what can you do now?

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Four Ways To Turn Anger Into Love
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Four Ways To Turn Anger Into Love

Couples Counseling

Four Ways To Turn Anger Into Love

By adminla|2017-05-22T22:15:37+00:00June 30th, 2014|Couples Counseling|

FOUR FALSE PREMISES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE YOU ANGRY AND STRESSED. 1. When you are full of anger and rage that your loved ones don't treat you with respect or consideration, chances are you expect them to read your mind. You are sure that they know what's going on for you and deliberately ignore it, making you suffer. That's what's make you angry and unloving.

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Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
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Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues

Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:17+00:00September 25th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

“I want to feel like we are together!” is the most frequent goal I hear from partners when they come for couples therapy. But invariably each person has a totally different view and expectation of what it means to be ‘together.’ By the time they get into my office they are both exhausted, having tried and failed to convince each other that their version of togetherness is the one to aim for. They hoped that relationship counseling would prove one or other of them right and the other wro

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Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems
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Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues

Two ways to get your partner to accept that they need therapy to deal with their problems

By dr_j_raymond|2016-12-13T05:19:18+00:00June 4th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Have you worn yourself out with the stress of trying to persuade your partner to go to counseling for anger issues only to be told that there is no problem? Do you want to just walk out of your relationship when your partner calls you crazy after you reason with them about going to therapy for problems with lying, cheating, gambling or substance abuse? Instead of having a competition for who is crazy and who is nuts, or who has their head screwed on right or wrong, watch this video and learn two ways in which you can get through to your partner about accepting that there is a problem requiring professional therapy.

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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?
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Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues

Are You Ready For Couples Therapy?

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-11T18:14:31+00:00February 2nd, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

When you have tried as hard as you can to get through to your partner without success you may feel unheard, unseen and misunderstood. You try even harder to make your point, to show where you are coming from and what upsets you so much in the relationship. Your partner may be feeling equally frustrated and exasperated with failed attempts to get through to you about what's going on for them. So you both escalate, get even more angry and disappointed and worst of all you both end up terrified that you are never going to be able to communicate in a way that allows you to feel understood and attended to. Your arguments and fights get increasingly bitter with accusations and blame used as cannons in an attempt to break down the barricades of your partner's apparent refusal to see it your way. At that point you may think that the only way you can salvage the relationship is to go to couples therapy. Maybe an outside person can be more objective and act as a referee or mediator. Before you go to couples therapy, there are some crucial things you should be aware of:

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Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!
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Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!

Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues

Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:47:38+00:00January 12th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Communication Problems, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Have you tried reading self-help books on making your relationship work and found the advice sensible but impractical? Perhaps you have been on couples retreats, gone to couples workshops and taken courses on communicating with your partner, gaining intimacy with your spouse and managing conflict with your loved one - but still not succeeded with any degree of consistency. There is a good reason why self-help materials and experiential workshops fail - and that is because you are being taught the skills that work for couples who can do relationships well naturally. They don't have to work through the same tensions, challenges and fears that you do. So when you come to putting those skills into practice the fears that you carry about losing your loved one, driving them away, being cheated on, not being good enough and so on get in the way of the success. It's not that you lack skills or need to learn new ones. It's the fears and insecurities producing relationship stress that get in your way.

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Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling
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Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy

Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T20:40:35+00:00January 5th, 2013|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

If you are considering couples counseling then you must have tried hard to solve your relationship problems by yourself and not got the results you hoped for. Perhaps you have threatened your partner with couples counseling when it seemed that there was no other option but separation or divorce. Many couples come into therapy to get validated and feel that their partner is the one that needs the counseling. Couples therapy rarely works when there is an agenda of blame. However there is an even more important reason why couples therapy may not work. It is when the discussion pieces in the counseling session isn't maintained from one meeting to the next because the couple don't realize the importance of practicing the skills of staying connected in a positive way outside of the therapist's consulting rooms.

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How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
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How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!

Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues

How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!

By dr_j_raymond|2017-09-13T19:02:30+00:00January 11th, 2012|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, relationship issues|

If you are angry and tired of waiting for your partner to make good on a promise to commit to marriage and family then you are probably stressed and torn between staying in the hope of some movement and wanting to cut your losses. Learn 3 ways to help you decide what the costs and consequences are for you if you take the plunge and choose one side of your need. Take the pressure off yourself and your partner by looking at what is getting in the way and how to help your partner come out of the indecisive bubble.

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