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Three Steps For Daughters To Free Themselves of Co-Dependent Relationships With Mothers

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00February 18th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, relationship issues|

Once you were your mother's right arm, her champion and her savior. In return she took care of you by paying for everything you needed, so you didn't have to look for work or a life partner. But now you want to think for yourself. You want your feelings to count, not just those of your mother's. But you are scared that if you show how your mind works differently, that your mother won't like it, and take away your financial cushion. Yet, you want to be free to make your own mistakes. You love your mother and want a connection, but you want to share social moments because it feels good, not because you feel it is expected or that you will be punished if you don't!

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The ABC of Being a Treasured Valentine

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00February 3rd, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy|

Just imagine getting lots of hugs, hand holds, heads on shoulders, gentle touches of reassurance and looks of love? Wouldn't that be satisfying if you could count on that every day from your valentine? Now switch and consider how much your valentine wants the same affectionate interactions from and with you! Put that on your mental list of ways to show love and be loved. Then take a panoramic shot of how often you and your loved one reciprocate affection as a routine way of interacting!

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Ten Reasons Not to Go to Couples Therapy

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 20th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, relationship issues|

Recently a woman brought her male partner into therapy to make him confess to seeing other women, because she 'knew' he was playing around. You can guess how that went down! He felt cornered as if he had been forced into a confessional in the guise of having 'therapy' which is generally considered useful and validating. She felt vindicated that I was seeing the lying side of him, while frustrated that I wasn't browbeating him into admitting what she already 'knew' about his transgressions. I felt like I was being put in the role of a principal of a school with a teacher bringing me a naughty boy to be punished - unwilling to take on that mantle. Couples therapy often fails to take off because the intentions of one or other of the partners is to make the other feel bad. They say they want to work on the relationship but when it comes down to it, the partner that instigated the therapy usually wants to shame, blame and reclaim the control.

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Seven Reasons You Might Collude With Your Partner To Flirt With Your Best Friend

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00January 6th, 2015|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Does it bother you when you catch your partner flirting with your best friend? Do you swing from thinking it's good that they are pals, to wondering if both of them are betraying you? It must be very uncomfortable for you to be caught in this trap. Do you confront one or other and risk being seen as overly sensitive or jealous? What if you hurt one or both when they feel that you mistrust them and that the friendship and romantic relationship are in jepoardy? Do you wait to see what develops? Do you nip things in the bud?

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How To Make Sure Your Marriage Doesn’t End in Separation Before its Too Late!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00December 23rd, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Couples Counseling, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Do you constantly weight up the pros and cons of breaking up and separating, hoping against hope that some miracle will happen and save you from bitter disappointment? Then there is definitely something there that you can work on. You don't really want to separate, but you can't live a life of pretense any longer. You missed out on premarital counseling when you might have seen more of your partner and revised your ideas of married life. So what can you do now?

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Three Ways to Discuss Finances And Keep the Relationship Smooth!

By |2016-12-29T15:31:48+00:00December 9th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, relationship issues|

How often has money become a deal breaker in your relationship? It happens a lot, doesn't it ! Either you don't agree on how the money should be spent, or who deserves to make the choice. Money is often the heat that inflames a relationship where there is already some tension and power differentials. When one partner gives money to the other, or other people in a unilateral fashion, all sorts of insecurities and stresses build up. Conflict becomes a permanent feature of interactions and the underlying motivations are lost. So here are a few of the hidden motivations behind using money to manage relationships.

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Four Reasons Why PreMarital Counseling Ensures You Truly Know The Person You Plan to Marry

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00November 26th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Filled with excitement and carried away by romance you imagine the fairy tale of living happily ever after. You do everything you can to protect yourself against anticipating the adjustments you will have to make when living together as fallible human beings. But marriage turns the rose colored glasses you wore into lenses of disappointment, resentment, anger and mistrust - especially when your impending marriage is primarily an exit strategy from controlling or rejecting and abandoning parents.

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Two Signs That Your Partner is Not a Commitment Phobe, Just Not Into You!

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00November 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Intimacy|

Have you ever wondered whether your partner doesn't want you, or doesn't want to commit to anyone? You've probably tried hard to evoke that spark in your partner that touches your heart and makes you feel like you are "the one!" Sometimes you feel he has finally chosen to invest in you, and a few days later you feel empty as he withdraws the total deposit! Is he Jekyll and Hyde? He says all the right things and does what's expected but you can tell his heart isn't into it. You are left confused and wondering whether there is something wrong with him whether you are the problem. Your friends and family tell you that your partner is probably a commitment phobe! But how do you find out if he isn't interested in committing to anyone, or just to you.

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Five Ways to Shift From the “I” Body Language to the “We” Stance in Your Relationship

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 31st, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Communication Issues, Communication Problems, Intimacy, relationship issues|

Do you know what messages your body language gives your partner? Do you know how to read the signals of defense rather than togetherness? When you are fighting for your point of you, to be made right, and win the battle, then your relationship is in jeopoardy. So alert yourself to the behaviors that stress the "I" part of you, where the couple part is demoted. Then tune into the behaviors that stress the "we" part of the couple so your relationship can survive and thrive.

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Bullet Proof Your Relationship Against Your Partner Leaving You

By |2016-12-13T05:19:13+00:00October 14th, 2014|Anxiety therapy, Breakups and Separation, Intimacy, separation counseling|

Imagine if your partner suddenly said they were going to leave you? Would you be shocked, shaken, stunned and destabilized? You would feel insecure and stressed. Then you were probably imagining that everything was fine and that you had the near perfect relationship. Hardly any arguments, shared jobs and good sex. But what about the emotional intimacy?

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