Have you ever been accused of having “abandonment issues”? Maybe you feel abandoned when that phrase is used as a reason to walk away from you instead of working through the problems at hand. Perhaps you believe you have abandonment issues because past relationships have ended making you feel abandoned, unloved and unimportant. To some extent everyone feels abandoned from time to time, but most get over it, experiencing it as a passing blip on the radar, that soon disappears in the richness of a relationship that offers other fulfilling moments. These blips don’t destroy an otherwise firm and secure connection to your significant other. It’s when those blips feel like huge meteors reigning down on you and destroying your footing, taking away your confidence and purpose, that experiences of abandonment can negatively influence your romantic relationships.
Have you ever felt that your loved one took out their anger, frustration and anxiety out on you? Do feel like a walking target for your family member’s angst with the world, just because you are there? Maybe you have spoken up and said that you don’t want to be their dustbin and or punching bag, and yet it has stayed exactly the same. You continue to feel the butt of your loved ones stress and worry and anger that their world isn’t right. There is a constant undercurrent of tension and conflict in your relationship and you can’t seem to fix it. There is an explanation for your partner taking it out on you.
Sorting out the laundry one Thursday evening, Marsha, a 37 year-old antique dealer found a receipt in her 40-year-old husband Terry’s jeans pocket. Stunned into paralysis as she unfolded the crumpled paper, she knew immediately that she had been cheated on. A hotel receipt, paid for in cash, for a large suite and room service obviously for more than one person. With a throbbing head, trembling hands and a hot flush enveloping her, Marsha called her best friend. Toni was the only one Marsha could trust to understand and make her feel better. After sharing her shock and realizing that Terry had been cheating, a montage of images flashed through her mind like a dizzy slide show. Signs that she had ignored over the last few months now stood out and wrapped her over the knuckles for not paying closer attention.