FOUR FALSE PREMISES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE YOU ANGRY AND STRESSED. 1. When you are full of anger and rage that your loved ones don't treat you with respect or consideration, chances are you expect them to read your mind. You are sure that they know what's going on for you and deliberately ignore it, making you suffer. That's what's make you angry and unloving.
Are you ready to give up on your relationship because your partner shuts you out and keeps you out each time you try to connect? Are you fed up with being treated like a monster instead of a lover and a loving partner? Maybe you are wondering what on earth is making your partner push you away and spurn your efforts to get emotionally intimate! This video is the first in a series that takes you behind the curtains and into the soul of your partner - where you can see all the murky fears that make it hard to trust you and let you in.
gluttony from stress Are you frustrated and angry that you seem to put on weight just by looking at high calorie foods, while others consume it as if there is no tomorrow and are as thin as reeds? Then you may be under chronic stress that produces a biological marker called NPY that metabolizes your calories differently and makes you gain weight. It's not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. You have got so used to the stress that it probably doesn't register in the same way it would for someone having a new experience. That's the problem. Your body then has to take over and try and protect you. Unfortunately it does it by making you store fat, and then you feel ashamed, guilty and even more of a failure. Relationship insecurity and helplessness is the most potent source of chronic stress.
Are you longing to feel like you have a partner that is a good fit and that you are finally settling down, but wonder why you can't commit? Do you find that the person you are attracted to seems inviting and loving, but that you have doubts about whether there is someone out there even more suitable? Then you are caught in a conflict about what attachment and commitment means to you. One part of you is in touch with the comfort, the love and attention, the togetherness and the bliss of feeling close. But another part of you is scared you will have to give up your right to think for yourself and be your own person. So you end up regretting decisions you make to commit because as soon as you do, it's as if you have just given yourself a term of life in jail.
Unable to sleep for the third night in a row, thirty-six-year-old Orrin, an investment analyst, got up and took his prescribed pain killers for his lower back pain and sciatica. The relief was temporary and he awoke from a drowsy state with intense throbbing pain down his right buttock, thigh and leg. His lower back pain made it difficult for him to get out of bed, so he used the cane he kept near him to push himself up. He was angry that the pain medications weren’t working, and even angrier that all the physical therapy and meditative exercises he performed regularly had little to no effect.
Whenever thirty-six-year-old Danny saw his twenty-nine-year-old partner Liz upset and crying about something he didn’t do, or something expectation he hadn’t met, he would start to feel guilty and ashamed and obey her demands for an apology. He wanted her to stop crying and rescue him from the guilt and shame. He wasn’t really interested in her feelings and how she interpreted his behavior. Each time he apologized she got more angry and would either shut down or berate him even more. Danny floundered, not knowing what to do next or how to keep their connection intact. When he felt aggrieved with Liz for not appreciating his thoughtfulness or his help around the house, he wouldn’t tell her about it. He wanted her to feel bad and apologize for snubbing him, but he wasn’t going to ask. He imagined how sweet it would be when she eventually ate humble pie and begged him to take the apology and resume normal relations
Have you ever been annoyed and frustrated that everything you learned and practiced about managing your emotions failed you at the crucial moment? It’s so disappointing when you have been to an anger management class, or spent time and money on CD’s, DVD’s and or coaches to help you master those intense feelings, only to find that you can’t access that learning when you need it the most. That’s what happened to thirty-six-year-old Hugh a film distributor over and over again when he was out in public with his thirty-four-year old second wife June, a publicist. He was very much in love with June who was beautiful, smart and caring – so different to his first wife who only seemed interested in material things and never made him feel good as a person. Yet, at one of the many parties they attending, when June didn’t go to his side the minute he called her, he felt the blood rush to his head and an irritated voice coming out of him – getting angrier and angrier with each demand he made.
At the age of fifty three Simon dropped dead one evening while sitting on the settee with a drink to unwind after his long and tense day. His three teenage children didn’t notice as they ran around absorbed in their cell phones, while his fifty year old wife Renee busied herself in the kitchen preparing dinner. Success in his limousine business had been hard to come by, but for the last 5 years he grew his customer base and brought home more money. The family home was just the way he and Renee had planned and he had a good network of support in his family and community. He belonged to the local gym, and liked to watch NASCAR racing with his friends. But one thing never got any better – that is the demands made on him by his wife, children, extended family and business partner.
Has your loved one told you that they want nothing more to do with you until you learn how to manage your anger? Are you scared that you will lose your loved one for ever, be alone and miserable for the rest of your life? Do you wish you could just cut out that angry part of you and then live happily ever after? Then you must be feeling even more angry that you can't get rid of that angry monster inside you. Watch this video and learn why you are so angry that other people make relationships with you conditional on you taming your anger!
After nine years of marriage bringing up three children , thirty-two-year-old Maria faced each day reluctantly. Her body felt heavy and the thought of doing another endless round of chores at home and after school activities with her kids made her head and neck hurt. Her thirty-four-year-old husband Carl’s invitation to take her out to dinner barely blipped on her radar. She registered his intention to be kind and cheer her up but within 10 seconds of acknowledging it, her forehead creased up in a tightly knitted frown, just as it had been before he made the offer.
