Getting the news that she was finally pregnant, should have been immensely relieving to 25-year-old Kerri, but she was as stressed if not more than before. Previously she had been stressed about having her second child before she was 35 years old, but now she was stressed about not having enough energy for her lively first born, 4 year-old Eric. She fretted over giving him less attention and potentially creating a long term problem. Recalling her own childhood Kerri remembered being the oldest in her family, and with each new baby that came along, she was pushed further and further into the background, being forced to take on parenting tasks. Her father worked long hours and was also in competition for the scant energy his wife may have for him when he was home. Kerri had vowed to herself that her children weren’t going to suffer like that, and she was going to make sure her husband Ari would never feel he had to battle to get quality adult time with her.
Anger and Stress Management Tips for Satisfying Relationships At the age of 37 Brittany, a quality control manager, woke up each day wishing the night had lasted a little longer. That awful feeling of dread permeated her body with sweat. She had been slipping at work and the factory owners had noticed that she [...]
Angela and Josh a newly married couple were at logger heads about Angela's mother telling him how to treat and take care of her daughter. She kept calling and texting him about Angela's food needs, her anxieties, her need to get pregnant and the need for child to be a son. Josh tried to talk to Angela about his distaste for being told how to be a good husband by his mother-in-law, but Angela secretly smiled. She was thrilled that her mother was on Josh's back to do the 'right thing' by her, because she was too scared to do it herself. She loved that her mother was her champion, and whipping up her husband to do the same. What Angela didn't appreciate was that Josh was feeling emasculated and furious. He was angry about the temerity of his mother-in-law to tell him what to do, as if he knew nothing of his wife's needs. He was fuming that he wasn't given a chance to find his feet in his new role as a husband., But most of all he was livid that his wife enjoyed seening him as a puppet controlled by her mother.
Anger and hatred often go together when you don't get cared for in the way you want and expect. If your expectations and hopes are dashed over and over again, the anger and loathing get bigger and more ferocious. But you are probably too scared to let it out. You feel love and hate for the person at the same time. These two contrary feelings put you in a bind. You can't walk away, and you can't express your rage. You fear that if the one you are upset with will crumble. Then you won't have anyone to be be attached to, and being alone is more frightening. You imagine that the person you are mad at doesn't care about you - in fact they hate you and are just one step away from walking out on you! So you keep it all in, seething inside with no room for anything else. All that scary anger makes your body release stress hormones to cope with the intense anger that threatens your heart, blood pressure, digestive system and mental well-being.
gluttony from stress When you are overwhelmed and feel like you are sinking in quicksand, your body wants to flee from the threat. But your life style and schedule keep you trapped in a very a very stressful situation. You feel out of control You feel helpless You feel angry and resentful You are terrified of failing or having a breakdown You put even more effort into trying to be perfect and get everything done the way it should be so you can meet your own high standards and expectations You imagine others complimenting you and envying you BUT THE STRESS GETS TO YOU AND ALL YOU WANT IS FOOD. YOU WANT THE COMFORT AND THE NUMBNESS THAT EATING CAN BRING.
1. In his book 'The Mindful Brain', Daniel Siegel describes mindulfulness as being aware of your mind and it's processes, so that you are not operating on auto pilot. 2. Mindful awarness involves reflection of what you are thinking, doing and feeling so that you are conscious of the choices you are making, and can opt for different ones to better your moment to moment, day to day life. Benefit: when you feel irritated and angry you can sense it in your body, as you tune into your muscle tension, teeth clenching and sighing. You can then formulate words to describe your anger, and then share it in the moment. It is experienced as genuine and the interaction can be shaped to include your feelings, adapting the converstion accordingly. You don't store anger and it doesn't build up into stress that makes you sick.
WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILD'S STRESS? 1. STRESS MAKES KIDS SICK AS ADULTS An article reported in Pediatr Adolesc Med, 2009, indicated that childhood stress that went unoticed and untreated resulted in chronic sickness when these children grew up. A further study published in Neuropsychopharmacology, 2010 revealed that chronic stress resulting in unhappy chilhoods resulted in an elevated inflammatory response to adult stress, weakening the immune system. 2. STRESS MAKES KIDS ANXIOUS AND DEPRESSED WHEN THEY REACH ADULTHOOD
gluttony from stress Are you frustrated and angry that you seem to put on weight just by looking at high calorie foods, while others consume it as if there is no tomorrow and are as thin as reeds? Then you may be under chronic stress that produces a biological marker called NPY that metabolizes your calories differently and makes you gain weight. It's not your fault and there is nothing wrong with you. You have got so used to the stress that it probably doesn't register in the same way it would for someone having a new experience. That's the problem. Your body then has to take over and try and protect you. Unfortunately it does it by making you store fat, and then you feel ashamed, guilty and even more of a failure. Relationship insecurity and helplessness is the most potent source of chronic stress.
Unable to sleep for the third night in a row, thirty-six-year-old Orrin, an investment analyst, got up and took his prescribed pain killers for his lower back pain and sciatica. The relief was temporary and he awoke from a drowsy state with intense throbbing pain down his right buttock, thigh and leg. His lower back pain made it difficult for him to get out of bed, so he used the cane he kept near him to push himself up. He was angry that the pain medications weren’t working, and even angrier that all the physical therapy and meditative exercises he performed regularly had little to no effect.
After nine years of marriage bringing up three children , thirty-two-year-old Maria faced each day reluctantly. Her body felt heavy and the thought of doing another endless round of chores at home and after school activities with her kids made her head and neck hurt. Her thirty-four-year-old husband Carl’s invitation to take her out to dinner barely blipped on her radar. She registered his intention to be kind and cheer her up but within 10 seconds of acknowledging it, her forehead creased up in a tightly knitted frown, just as it had been before he made the offer.