Anxiety caused by relationship stress is the greatest precursor to Erectile Dysfunction that men face. The International Journal of Impotence Research (2003) reports that "anxiety plays a major role in the development of problems associated with Erectile Dysfunction." Anxiety is an experience of anticipating a future threat or danger. The sympathetic nervous sytem gets ready to meet that danger by providing blood flow to your limbs so you can fight off an enemy or run for safety. Either way you need energy. But when you have no real enemy or threat, all that energy is floating around in the form of adrenalin, making you antsy, edgy and unable to relax. When you are in that state you are not up for being aroused sexually, because that would mean talking your eye of the potential threat.
Are you frustrated and angry that you never know what's going on with your spouse and resent having to ask? Maybe you feel that your partner is not matching your expectations but have given up on trying to get through. If you are the husband you probably keep it in, make jokes about marriage with your friends, and try to keep the peace at home. But you are not likely to go to your family and talk about it - not to them, and especially not to or with your wife! But, if you are the wife, you may drop little hints here and there to your husband that he is disappointing or annoying you, maybe even hurting you by not being as involved as you would like.
Have you ever been told to keep a journal and felt your heart sink to your boots? Is the idea of journaling stressful in itself? Perhaps you don't want to dwell on what's going on inside you because its messy Maybe you want to feel strong and the best way of doing it is to ignore bad feelings and hope they will just go away. You may be veery good at keeping your anger, stress, resentment, revengeful thoughts and feelings under cover, but they have a way of coming out in full force when you are least expecting it. Out of the blue a small irritation turns into a melt down and you don't understand how this could have happened. Your store of anger and stressful experiences found a tiny window when you got irritated and used that moment to escape, embarrasing you in the process.