It was eleven o’clock on a Tuesday morning, and Raul, a thirty-six-year-old property developer was struggling to keep his mind focused on the high powered meeting he had organized. He felt sluggish, his mind wandered and he could barely keep track of the agenda items he was supposed to bring to the table. For the last six months he had felt lethargic and uninterested in things that he usually enjoyed. He stopped playing squash with his best mate, and he rarely went out on Friday nights with his interior designer wife Pat to their favorite restaurant as they used to do. His day-to-day routine felt awkward, as if he were undertaking something foreign. His autopilot stopped working and he had to force himself to think hard about the simplest of things over and over again.
Are you frustrated with having good people in your life but no one that sparks that romantic fire? Do you find yourself irresistibly attracted to someone who is hot and steamy, but does nothing for you in the friendship department? Perhaps you wonder whether you will ever find a person whom you could trust and rely on while also having good sex. It's probable that you are keeping these two needs so separate that you have to split yourself in half in order to satisfy both parts. But it doesn't have to be that way - if you figure out what purpose it serves to tear yourself into two pieces.
At 38 years of age April was divorced with two preteens and a boring job that paid the bills. But she was no nearer realizing her goals of becoming a fashion designer, with boutiques all over the world and the glitterati salivating for her next collection. She kept telling herself that one day she would go to college, get her fine arts degree and then set fire to the world with her brilliant clothes. Yet something always got in the way – the kids needed her – she was too tired to go to college and bring up her children – it cost too much – it would take too long – she was too old - no one would like her designs – she didn’t want to market her work – she didn’t have the money to invest in a business, and on it went. April was highly skilled in creating obstacles that felt insurmountable just when it seemed that there was no excuse for not following her dream.