Relationship Advice Tips by Dr. Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.


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Courtney was a dynamo one minute and fatigued the next


Courtney felt good when she was busy but when the fatigue came she was a mess!

Courtney was an active and busy wife, mother, daughter and sister. She liked to think she could play all those roles well enough to make her feel proud and satisfied. As soon as she started one task, her mind would take her on a whirlwind through the millions of other jobs that needed doing – yesterday!

She got tons of energy from adrenalin born from anxiety, that carried her through phases of urgent action. There was no time for proper meals, or hydration.

Then Courtney felt faint.

It was hard to focus on the conversation with her husband.

She was too tired to eat.

Waking from non-refreshing naps, Courtney craved chocolate, fries, and burgers.

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Binge eating became Courtney’s default way of dealing with fatigue

Being a “good girl” stressed Courtney into binge eating and looking twice her age!

The instant energy high from the junk food made her feel better and off she went on her next binge of activity – busy with a million things that only mattered if she didn’t do them. She was a “good girl” for doing her chores and that’s all that mattered in the moment.

Then she would feel exhausted again. Depleted, tired, worn out and unable to function.

Courtney cycled through her dynamo phase to her defunct phase and back into the dynamo mode at least 3 times a day. It took a toll, physically and emotionally.

Stress brought on by feeling badly about herself and her relationships compromised her immune system. Chronic stress that came from feeling unloved and unworthy made Courtney work harder to get validation.

But all that happened was that stress affected her hormone system and turned her body into a premature post-menopausal state – falling hair, wrinkled skin and energy imbalance.

As she got ready for bed she would feel a huge sense of sadness and regret.

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Relationship stress and fatigue make Courtney’s hair fall out

In these sad and lonely moments, Courtney felt old.

She felt her skin look old and begin to wrinkle.

She saw her hair fall out.

She experienced herself as permanently exhausted and not able to enjoy her children.

Courtney imagined being left behind, with life passing her by before her thirty-fifth birthday.

Courtney got scared that her efforts were not bringing her closer to her husband, kids, in-laws, family or friends. She felt lonely, and headed for the scrap heap. As an article in the Journal of Psychosomatic Medicine 2001 reported, relationship insecurity leads to disease by destabalizing the endocrine system.

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Connection with her husband made Courtney feel loved and eliminated fatigue

Then something miraculous happened.

Courtney gave herself permission to take a walk with her husband. She justified it as a necessary job to help improve the marriage. No cell phones or ipads. Just husband and wife out together in the sunshine.

As they returned home Courtney felt energized.

Courtney felt hungry for real food, healthy food and lots of it.

Courtney felt attractive. She didn’t see wrinkles on her skin which was glowing and fresh.

Why the sudden change?

What triggered the shift from nervous wreck to thriving woman?

Courtney felt wanted, loved and worthy of affection.

Feeling cared for made her secure and gave her desire.

Desire is natural and organic motivation.

No longer was Courtney living off unnatural energy fueled by anxiety about not being good enough.

Desire stemming from feeling loved fed her body and mind, reducing stress and giving her instant energy, healthy skin and balanced nutrients.

Now Courtney can be the good wife, mother and sibling she always wanted to be without effort or worry.

That’s how letting the love in can makes fatigue vanish!


Copyright, Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.


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Disclaimer: the information in this article is for informational and educational purposes only. Dr. Raymond is not responsible for any reactions you may experience while reading it or when using the ideas contained therein. Interacting with this material does not constitute a therapeutic relationship with Dr. Raymond.