When you are angry most of the time it's very wearing and tough to live with. You just want to numb it out so you can get on with the day. But when you go numb you get into a dark place. You get depressed and become isolated. It's good not to feel all that anger and other stuff but it's lonely, empty and demotivating. You want to come out of that dark place and connect with people but you don't want to bring all that anger that makes you so uncomfortable. In that depressing place you can't tell the difference between anger, frustration, irritability or guilt. Everything gets blurred and keeps you sealed up in listless depressing mood. But what if you could discover all the underlying emotions that got mushed into anger and use them to be an active player in your life?
The first disappointment came when Nancy didn't want to go with Faith to planned social events. It was as if Nancy was ashamed to be associated with her. The second let down was harder to swallow. Nancy never asked about Faith's job, her relationship with Bruno, or their future plans. Nancy used Faith's house as a hotel and didn't bother with even the most basic of social graces. Any efforts on Faith's part to confide in Nancy met with the same critical hostility and dismissal that her mother doled out. There was no togetherness, no reminiscing, no sisterhood.
Valerie was hurt and upset. Barry dismissed her plans for the Thanksgiving holiday but supported the same proposals coming from cousin Ruth. What made it even worse was that Barry seemed oblivious to the stinging rebuke he had dealt his wife. Silenced by the lump growing in her throat and the hot tears pricking her eyes, Valerie pretended to be busy in the kitchen. She had to get a grip on herself for the sake of her guests.
The call came at 1:00 a.m. The call that never should have come. The call that Bruce would have moved heaven and earth to prevent. The call that ended everything when an apologetic voice dealt the fatal blow - his wife had suffered a heart attack at work and died. Relentless Guilt Tortured Him Bruce went through the motions as the autopsy, funeral and aftermath took their course. He allowed friends and relatives to take care of the arrangements, acting as an obedient robot. He lost his appetite and had trouble sleeping. The pills his doctor prescribed forced his shocked mind and body to switch off. He was glad when exhaustion took over, so he could get a break from the relentless guilt that tortured his every waking moment.
Tim was crushed. A massive lump in his throat choked off his voice of gut wrenching shock and disbelief. He felt as if a bomb had gone off inside him, blowing him up into a pile of unrecognizable smithereens. He was shaking with indignation. He was loyal, and trustworthy. He never abused Josie, or gave her any cause to doubt his commitment. He was nothing like his father who got drunk every other night and made the rest of the family pay for his bad feelings. How could Josie possibly put him in the same category?
Three days later the dream came true Donna was asked to do an acting part for a commercial. Normally she would have felt ugly, heavy, unattractive and not fit for the role. But after her dream she allowed her fellow actor to put his arm around her without thinking that she was disgusting to him. She didn't go through her usual checklist of all the reasons why she shouldn't be hired, and that she was only being used to make a point about fat people.
The dream portrayed her future with vivid accuracy. Maggie's leap into penniless self-employment was symbolized by the train smashing her belongings and leaving her naked. As Maggie recalled the dream, she did something she had never done before. She put aside the shame that prevented her from asking for help, and accepted rides, ate with neighbors and borrowed tools. The dream voice said "If you want to be a successful artist, let people 'clothe' you with the support you need." Maggie's dream gave her the key to a treasure chest that was buried under layers of pride. At the time of greatest need Maggie used the key. She threw away her stubborn independence and let the dream empower, reassure and guide her along her chosen path.
The next day Andrea heard that her father had died the same day she had her peaceful dream. The parent that nourished Andrea during her emotional storms had now died, just as the old Oak in the dream. Andrea's dream came to foretell her loss, comfort her and help her grieve.
Donna's struggle with her weight never ends. She always thinks of herself as fat and ugly. Whatever she does to control it never lasts and she is left feeling worse than ever before. When things are going badly for her she feels even fatter and uglier and just wants to walk away from her disgusting body. At rough times when nothing seems to be going right she feels that this is some punishment that she has to suffer just for being who she is. In fact she thinks it's like a repulsive birthmark that is stamped on her and can never be hidden or got rid of. It was during one of these bad times that Donna had a dream where she was pulling out hair from her mouth. The hair strands just went on and on and on. There was no end to it. It felt awful when she woke up.