adminla, Author at LA Westside Therapy

Shirked responsibility gets turned into self-hatred and anger – masochistic anger part 4

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:05:38+00:00August 1st, 2012|Anger Management Counseling|

Turning the anger on himself protected Ezra's fragile relationships Self-loathing filled Ezra’s existence for hours after his outbursts. He was embarrassed and ashamed at his loss of control. Not only was Ezra angry at the staff for not doing their jobs according to his expectations, but he got even more angry with himself for showing his anger. Fury and disappointment at the workers got turned into self-flagellation, punishing himself for acting like a child having a tantrum.

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Being Angry is a way to grieve – masochistic anger part 3

By adminla|2017-09-13T17:28:49+00:00August 1st, 2012|Anger Management Counseling|

Byron’s anger terrified him. He did everything he could to avoid feeling it and showing it when it washed over him. He wanted to die of shame every time he saw his girlfriend’s fear and distress. He didn’t intend to hurt or scare her. She was the one good thing in his life and he would do anything to keep her. Byron’s anger was inexplicable to him. He didn’t feel it coming on and by the time it was evident, it was too late. Beverly was already anticipating something awful. Anger turned to shame and self-castigation. Byron flogged himself with unmerciful comments resulting in bleeding sores all over his self-esteem.

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Anger at yourself makes you sick – masochistic anger part 2

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:28:59+00:00August 1st, 2012|Anger Management Counseling|

Anger at not picking the right wife made Sebastian beat up on himself Most of all Sebastian was angry with himself for picking Loretta as a wife. He berated himself for being blind to her faults when they were courting. Sebastian felt adored and wanted by Loretta before they married. He imagined she would focus on him and the family they made with an energy that would prove her devotion and his worth. Sebastian saw the chance to have a reliable and sacrificial caring partner who would put family first. What he got shattered his dreams. The birth of their son turned her into a tired, complaining wife who did less and less for the family. Sebastian got more and more irritated, resentful and angry that his burden was increasing while Loretta became more insular.

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Is anger spoiling your enjoyment of your achievements?

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:59:06+00:00July 29th, 2012|Anger Management Counseling|

The award ceremony was well under way but there was still no sign of Larry. With a sinking heart Yvonne took her place in line to receive her diploma. The shouts and hugs of congratulations became a blur as her eyes kept scanning the huge hall for her elder brother. Yvonne's friends honored her achievement with flowers, gifts and affection. Yet she was the pooper at her own party. Larry had broken his promise. Choking back tears of acute disappointment she went through the motions of smiling as she thanked her thoughtful pals.

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Ten ways to direct your anger in a productive way

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:20:01+00:00July 29th, 2012|Anger Management Counseling|

The world caved in on Louis when his girlfriend of three years ditched him, complaining he was ‘too needy!’ Louis had been the devoted boyfriend and caretaker. He did whatever she asked no matter what the cost to him. He cut out his friends and family. He stopped playing sports and dropped out of college. When the shock of his rude dismissal from the relationship hit him, he went through a period of disbelief and then he became angry.

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Is anger stopping you from reaching your potential?

By adminla|2017-09-13T19:08:40+00:00July 29th, 2012|Blog|

Max was bathed in support and sympathy from his family, fiance and friends. They rallied around and helped him get through the first year of struggle for recovery. Together with his pain medications and physical therapy, the network of people caring for him acted as buffers against his volcanic fury. Cocooned in this chrysalis his outrage and resentment swelled into a festering reservoir of hate, waiting to explode.

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How your dream can make you feel more in control of your own life

By adminla|2012-07-28T19:15:02+00:00July 28th, 2012|Blog, Dreams|

Recently Donna has felt hopeless about her love life. She was resigned to being single and without children even though it was one of her cherished dreams. She wanted to believe that it could come true but was scared to pin her hopes on it. She kept her dreams safe in her fantasy world where reality couldn't spoil her image. She had relationships with men that were either friendships or sexual liaisons, but never both. She had never experienced the closeness and intimacy of a relationship that had it all. Reckless Behavior Stuns Donna At about this time Donna had been taken in by a gypsy in an upscale part of town and gave her $1000 to hear something hopeful about her future. A day or so later it dawned on her - the magnitude of what she had done! She was astounded that a wish to believe in her fantasy just for a moment could make her so reckless and give up her common sense and self-protection. She had given money to friends to help them out, but never just thrown such a large sum on a whim! A Disturbing Dream Haunts Donna A couple of months later Donna's next dream startled her. She hated theme parks but there she was in her dream at a fair ground theme park with a friend. She saw a gypsy who promised to tell her important things about her love life.

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How a dream about destruction can illuminate your strengths

By adminla|2012-07-26T15:26:31+00:00July 26th, 2012|Blog, Dreams|

Donna's next dream was really scary. She was watching herself get blown up and bits of her were flying all around. What a way to wake up? It came the night after she did some good work at a chartiy event and got a temp job that she liked. So why such a nightmare?

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Twelve relationship stress factors that bring on dermatitis

By adminla|2017-09-13T18:34:13+00:00July 25th, 2012|stress|

Sabrina woke up itching with red splotches all over her face, neck, chest and arms. Dermatitis was back, out of the blue. Frustrated with this itchy eczema she went to breakfast determined to be strong and in command when her parents threw questions at her about her health and career. Sabrina decided to by pass that scenario. She didn’t want to feel angry, upset, foolish or small. She put on her tried and trusted battle costume. The one that allowed her to focus her attention and concern on everyone else. That way she could avoid conflicts, protect herself from disappointment, make the family feel good and avoid getting stressed out. It was a sure fire way to succeed and be in full control. Sabrina felt strong and ready to head off any battles before they decimated her sense of efficacy and pride in herself. The eczema outbreak shocked her, and that’s when she decided to discover more about herself and her dermatitis.

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Dealing with anger about not getting what you want!

By adminla|2017-09-13T17:51:07+00:00July 22nd, 2012|Blog|

I do what you want, but you never let me do what I want! Justin had his heart set on the new BMW sports car, but Bernice wondered whether it was the best way of spending money at this point. There were other more important priorities like her business start up, the kids school fees and house repairs to consider. Justin blew up. “ You never let me have what I want! When you wanted to go to Costa Rica I agreed because I knew what that meant to you. I let you choose the living room furniture even though I hated it. Yet when something is important to me you pour cold water all over it, and make me feel selfish.”

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