FOUR FALSE PREMISES ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS THAT MAKE YOU ANGRY AND STRESSED. 1. When you are full of anger and rage that your loved ones don't treat you with respect or consideration, chances are you expect them to read your mind. You are sure that they know what's going on for you and deliberately ignore it, making you suffer. That's what's make you angry and unloving.
Are you wanting comfort and security with your loved ones but not able to get it by being good, quiet, patient and hopeful? Do you get mad and envious when you see other fully grown adults get pampered and taken care of when they whine and complain? Do you wish you could get away with that? Perhaps you have been harboring a secret wish that your loved ones would just do their job and love you the way they should, so that you didn't have to work so hard at getting them to even notice you.
Mimi was successful with diets when she felt strong and an equal player in the world. As soon as that fragile mood was threatened by words of conditional love, put downs, and a dismissal of her opinions Mimi felt naked and vulnerable. Food was the comforter and the weight she gained became a shield against the abuse. The thicker the armor the less chance there was of being destabilized and out of control. The armor plating was solid enough to deodorize the stench of her own chaotic and stinky feelings. The armor did such a good job that she couldn't distinguish between her own mess and that of others. It also bypassed her emotional thermostat so that she never knew when she couldn't take any more of other people's trash. Food was the best way of resetting the switch and lowering the temperature.
