My Background

Trained both in the Great Britain and USA, I practice as a clinical psychologist, psychotherapist, and coach in Los Angeles, California. My private practice is a very special part of my life, where I am privileged to help people in distress when their most precious relationships are in jeopardy. My clients tell me that I am a good listener, and have the knack of putting into words exactly what they struggle with. My strongest asset is that I get to know the heart of you and what you are going through soon after we meet. As the therapy progresses, my clients thank me for being truthful however much it hurts, for never giving up on them, and for giving them the confidence to make choices that make them feel in charge of their lives.

My career as a psychologist began in 1979 in the UK. I started with a determination to make children under stress and pain feel understood, accepted, and taken seriously. My strong intuitive skills coupled with my Master’s degree in child and educational psychology enabled me to help parents understand their infants, toddlers, and teens when their families were in crisis.

The best part of my job was to translate the deep hurt, pain and anxiety that children of all ages felt so that their parents and teachers understood them. Explaining that a ten-year-old boy was truanting from school because he was desperate to unite his warring parents was an eye opener to them, and took the burden off the child to fix their relationship. My special training in family therapy meant that I could then get everyone involved in taking up their appropriate roles and responsibilities.

In my early days as a psychologist I loved using my expertise in child development to teach parents who couldn’t control screaming toddlers in the supermarket how to avoid those embarrassments. From managing temper tantrums with aggressive youngsters who refused to get dressed, or eat their food, my interventions gave parents a sense of control and self-confidence that made life less shameful and easier to bear.

Busy and stressed teachers also needed understanding and support to offer the best learning environments for their students. As an expert in stress management I offered ongoing workshops that promoted effective management strategies in their classrooms. I used my skills in adapting curriculum for special needs students to create personalized programs that suited their learning styles and pace. When parents and teachers collaborated in reinforcing the program together, the rewards for everyone, including me were immeasurable. In fact I wrote a book published in 1984, that included many of these programs for other teachers working with special needs children, called ‘Teaching The Child With Special Needs’, published by Ward Lock.

In the high schools I conducted social skills training programs for teens who were trying to cope with bullying, and being pressured into truanting, stealing and or cheating in class. I also wrote a book, published in 1985 called ‘Implementing Pastoral Care in Schools’, recently republished by Routledge. It was designed for teachers, so that they too could work with teens to develop social and emotional intelligence.

In the mid 1990’s I switched from working for local government to operating my own private practice. I wanted to work more closely with individuals who were suffering from chronic depression, anxiety, and pain that had no organic cause. I noticed clients all had long histories of poor relationship experiences, and that their bodies were screaming out in pain. My deep knowledge of the importance of secure, safe and stable attachments provided me with tools to discover what had gone wrong for these clients. Then I was able to connect them to their buried emotions, and release them from their physical pain. I remember one client who was a nurse and hated her job, but wouldn’t quit. Depressed, overeating, lonely and scared, she felt she had to hang onto her job. It was the only real thing she had. But she was angry about being in this trap. She suffered constant neck pain that prevented her from going to work. Away from the hospital the neck pain disappeared, and she finally set herself free by releasing her long held anger at having been forced into the nursing profession by her parents. I became more and more aware of how suppressed anger led to physical pain and unremitting depression.

Having established a successful private practice in the UK, I immigrated to Los Angeles in 1995 to be with my mother who was suffering from terminal cancer. I took care of her until her passing, and then taught in an elementary school to pay for my Ph.D. program in clinical psychology. With a doctorate in clinical psychology and special commendation for my dissertation, followed by a license to practice in California, I set up a new private practice focusing on adults in 2006. My experience of caring for a terminally ill parent helped me understand the stresses that carers experience, in addition to going through a bereavement. As a psychologist it helped me understand, empathize, and help clients suffering from depression, grief and loss.

During my training, I became very interested and excited about dreams as a source of understanding and empowering my clients. I have a natural affinity with dreams as a window into the soul, and as a personal healer. I became experienced and expert in dream analysis by doing several workshops and working with my clients who brought in their dreams.

I expanded my prior experience of working with suppressed anger, by learning more about the mind-body connection. Ongoing courses on the psychology of pain, and pain management helped me treat clients who had insomnia, weight issues, skin breakouts, headaches, and back pain. I am now an anger management specialist – working at all the frontiers of anger in relationships. That includes enabling clients to use it for self-empowerment in abusive relationships, or when the fear of losing a loved one, diminishes assertiveness.

What I do best is help individuals and couples identify and solve the core issues of their relationship problems. Over the years I have been struck by the fear people have of being emotionally intimate with their loved ones. When one member of a couple tries to get close the other puts up a wall, and vice versa. I started to explore the causes rooted in early emotional traumas that shamed them into closing the door just when it was about to open. My focus on helping fearful couples develop a language of emotion led to my latest book, published in 2014, called, ‘Now You Want Me, Now You Don’t! Fear of Intimacy: Ten ways to recognize it and ten ways to manage it in your relationship.’ I wanted to help other couples who felt this frustrating pull-push in their significant relationships to see how therapy can help identify the fears and prepare the ground for safe connection.

It’s fulfilling to work at a deep level with clients who want to repair the emotional damage of their past, and relate in satisfying ways. It’s very moving to see them grow and become self-attuned and allow love in.