Intimacy

   Audio Tips
   Book on Fear of Intimacy
   Client Stories
   Commitment
   Disgust
   Emotional Intimacy
   Guilt
   Intimacy Quiz
   Partner Choice
   Physical Intimacy
   Shame
   Trust and Betrayal


Latest Articles

  • * Do You Have To Choose between Romance and a Good Mate?
  • * Your Rule About What Love is Can Bar You From Receiving it - part 10
  • * Rules About Who Makes You Happy, Makes You Angry and Envious -part 9
  • * Rules About What Makes Relationships Last Stop Them From Ever Starting -part 8
  • * Rules About Being Your Partner's Savior Harm Your Relationship - part 7
  • * Save Your Marriage By Avoiding Relationship Rules About Your Partner's Behaviour - part 5
  • * Rules About How You Should Express Your Needs Can Rupture Your Marriage- part 4
  • * Don't Ruin Your Marriage With Thorny Relationship Rules - part 3
  • * Are You And Your Partner Together On What ‘Togetherness’ Means?
  • * Stop The Cycle of Attraction To The Wrong Person And Learn To Like The Right One!
  • * Why You Choose The Wrong Partner Over And Over Again - part 2
  • * Why You Keep Getting Attracted To The Wrong Person- part 1
  • * How To Avoid The Stress When Your Spouse Nags At You For Being Unresponsive
  • * Regaining Your Sense of Security When Your Relationship Feels Unstable
  • * Are you ashamed of your relationship and hide it from family and friends?
  • * Continual Separating and reuniting doesn't have to threaten your relationship!
  • * How perfectionism turns you into a liar to yourself and your loved ones
  • * How to use lies in relationships as catalysts to improve communication
  • * How to be happy in a relationship by tuning into your partner's needs
  • * How to relieve stress in a marriage by sharing jobs
  • * How Do You Build Trust in a Relationship When You are Repeatedly Let Down?
  • * The Main Barrier to Communication in Marriage is Fear of Listening Empathically
  • * Self-Compassion Makes You the Partner You Want to be Toward Your Loved One
  • * How to Get What You Want From Your Valentine
  • * Where to Find a Boyfriend When the Current One is No Good?
  • * Is Family Conflict Making a Friend Out of One Loved One and an Enemy of Another?
  • * Breaking Up Doesn't Have To Be so Hard To Do!
  • * Complimenting Your Partner Can Cause Relationship Problems!
  • * Develop Good Communication Skills and Solve Marriage Problems
  • * Self-help For Couples That Actually Works!
  • * Expressing Hurt Saves Relationships While Anger Causes Relationship Breakups
  • * Getting The Most Out of Couples Counseling
  • * Sharing Emotions Promotes Bonding That Supports You In Crisis
  • * How To Make Your Boyfriend Love You More and Find a Husband In Him
  • * Should You Leave Your Partner or Stay Hoping They Will Love You One Day!
  • * Save Your Marriage By Letting In Your Partner's Support
  • * How To Trust In Relationships
  • * Save Your Marriage With Impactful Communications
  • * What Makes You Push Your Partner Away and Choose Depression and Loneliness?
  • * Dealing With a Partner Who Cannot Trust You and Insists You Are a Cheater
  • * Conflict Recovery Style Determines Whether Couples Stay Together
  • * Where Is Your Spouse When There Is No Response To Your Texts And Calls?
  • * Conflicting Secret Wishes And Motives Threaten Your Marriage Big Time!
  • * How To Deal With a Partner Who Lies And Cheats
  • * Do You Feel Abandoned When Your Partner Is With Family And Friends?
  • * Dealing With a Loved One Who Refuses To Talk When You Want To
  • * Why Women Take Longer Than Men To Cheer Up After Getting In A Fight or Bad Mood.
  • * Getting Proof That Your Partner Is Committed To You
  • * A Proven Way To Stop The Stress Of Conflict And Reconnect With Your Loved One
  • * How To Tell If Your Partner Is Showing Genuine Love Or Not
  • * How To Make Sure Your Date Turns Into a Positive Intimate Healthy Relationship.
  • * Do You Suffer In Silence In Order To Prove Your Love?
  • * How To Feel Included When You Feel Alone In a Group
  • * How To Transition Between Loved Ones Without Feeling Insecure
  • * Enjoying The Now Relationships Instead Of Waiting For Some Future Pleasure
  • * White Lies And Whoopers Make You Sick, Depressed And Cut Off From loved Ones.
  • * Why Your Ideal Of A Perfect Marriage Causes Your Finance To Break Off The Engagement
  • * How To Avoid Feeling Attacked When Your Partner Is Venting!
  • * Keeping Silent About Your Stress Ensures Your Partner is Emotionally Unavailable To You
  • * How To Prove That You Are Not The Same As Your Partner's Exes!
  • * Do You Regret Rejecting a Possible Partner and Ending Up Alone and Scared?
  • * The Two Most Serious Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship
  • * Why 9 out of 10 Apologies Fail to Improve Relationships
  • * Five Ways to Find and Keep Available Partners Without Sabotaging Yourself!
  • * Four Ways To Deal With A Hostile And Aggressive Partner
  • * Ensure Your Relationship Against a Loss of Intimacy and Commitment!
  • * End Those Dreaded Fights And Enjoy Peaceful Relationships
  • * How to Manage The Guilt Of Saying 'No' To Your Partner!
  • * How to make sure your relationship makes it past the initial romance
  • * How to deal with a loved one who texts others while in your company!
  • * How to recognize the 3 prerequisites of love and feel wanted!
  • * What's the secret to being liked and popular and wanted?
  • * How to feel wanted instead of rejected!
  • * Who controls your energy levels, you or your loved one?
  • * How to stop a conversation turning into a fight!
  • * How to bring the zing back into an "okay" sex life!
  • * How come the people you date haven’t got their acts together?
  • * How to enjoy health and intimacy over the holiday weekend
  • * How to get the most satisfaction from venting to loved ones!
  • * How to make your partner want to be physically intimate with you!
  • * How to make up after a fight without giving up!
  • * How to enjoy a relationship and protect yourself at the same time!
  • * How to find the love of your life
  • * Four alternatives to withdrawing from your romantic relationship
  • * How to survive a betrayal by a loved one
  • * How gender differences in handling stress affects intimacy
  • * Three ways to share your stuff without fear of upsetting loved ones.
  • * Are you making the right kind of investment in your happiness?
  • * Why your partner falls short of your ideal partner characteristics!
  • * The gift that will make your valentine love you for ever!
  • * Why it’s a good sign if your date doesn’t want to sleep with you
  • * Is your relationship break up permanent or just a shift in gears?
  • * How to deal when you want commitment but your partner is hesitant!
  • * How to deal with a partner who is down when you are up!
  • * Why your Sex Life Goes from Fantastic to Boring in the blink of an eye!
  • * Positive affirmations can damage your relationships!
  • * Why your sex life is non-existant part 2- and how to get it going again.
  • * Why Your Sex Life Doesn't Work and Three Ways to Revive it!
  • * Why men shut down and women ramp up in conflicts!
  • * Why does your loved one believe a stranger and not you?
  • * How to rescue your marriage from roommate status!
  • * Why you don't feel understood when people say they understand- part 2
  • * How to avoid having your hopes dashed when you meet your loved one!
  • * Why protecting your partner may be the worst move you ever make!
  • * Perfectionism may be ruining your intimate relationships!
  • * How to get over that "there's no point" feeling!
  • * How does your style of eye contact impact relationship satisfaction?
  • * How to get off the emotional roller coaster with your partner
  • * What makes an exciting relationship turn into a heavy burden?
  • * How to manage the pain of jealousy
  • * How to get your partner to talk when you want!
  • * Is Your Style of Flirting Working For You?
  • * What makes your partner break promises?
  • * How to stop feeling used in relationships
  • * How to stop being lonely!
  • * How to be independent and still be loved!
  • * Are you dying for affection but cringe when it comes?
  • * How to deal with the "damned if I do, and damned if I don't situation!
  • * Do you have to give up your past in order to have a loving future?
  • * How to make your imagined relationship into a reality!
  • * How a bladder infection can save intimacy in your marriage!
  • * What’s the right combination of commitment for harmonious relationships?
  • * *(How to get affection on your schedule!)*
  • * *(How to manage when your partner loses interest in you!)*
  • * How to manage rejection sensitivity and be more open to love!
  • * *(How to be loved 24/7 even if you think you don't deserve it!)*
  • * What makes you happy - people or accomplishments?
  • * *(How to turn nagging into loving connections)*
  • * Is fear of being impactful depriving you of intimacy?
  • * How to deal with the “ if you really loved me you would……..” syndrome!
  • * *(How to get your partner to love you the way you want!)*
  • * What type of self-sacrifice benefits intimate relationships?
  • * *(How to converse with your date so you both feel special!)*
  • * How to stop using hoarding as your intimacy substitute!
  • * *(How to tell if loved ones mean what they say!)*
  • * How to manage fatigue due to relationship problems
  • * *(How to get your own way, avoid guilt and still feel lovable!)*
  • * How to get more by working less at relationships
  • * *(How to deal with negative reactions you didn't intend to cause!)*
  • * Four LOVE steps for singles to turn dates into long term relationships
  • * *(How to deal with complaining loved ones)*
  • * The secret ingredients for empathy in relationships - part 3
  • * *(How To communicate that you really care)*
  • * The second secret to being empathic and boosting your relationship
  • * *(How to Speak Your Mind Without Feeling Monstrous!)*
  • * Four Ways to Share Feelings and be Empathic -part1
  • * *(How to Avoid Conflict With A Dose of Curiosity)*
  • * 7 Ways to deal with feeling 'needy' in relationships- Part 3
  • * *(Top three personal gifts to give your valentine)*
  • * Three ways to avoid feeling needy in relationships- part 2
  • * Two ways to avoid the shame of feeling 'needy.'
  • * Three ways to prevent self-defeatism from causing relationship stress
  • * Four ways to reconnect when your partner snubs you
  • * Fear of Intimacy - Five Tell Tale Signs
  • * How to avoid the same mistakes after a break up
  • * Five ways to breach a misunderstanding with your partner
  • * Do you fit the four point profile of a cheater?
  • * How to deal with controlling people in your relationships
  • * Enjoying Intimacy Like You Did In The Early Days
  • * How to Make up After a Fight and Find Intimacy
  • relationship advice psychotherapy for dealing with shame, Los Angeles

    Shame makes you want to hide from yourself and loved ones, creating barriers to fulfilling relationships.

    Are you ashamed when you loose your cool and act in ways that you later regret?

    Are you mortified with shame when some mean and nasty part of you slips out and your loved ones don’t see the angel that you try so hard to portray?

    Shame stops you in your tracks by giving you a punishing dose of self-disapproval.

    It is effective in putting the brakes on, but does nothing to address the thoughts and feelings that led you to behave in ways that you later judge unacceptable.

    Shame makes you hide and shut down.

    When you shut down you are not available for a relationship.

    You feel undeserving so you won’t let yourself be loved.

    You won’t offer love either because you believe it comes from a shameful place.

    Relationships then take on a mechanical quality that has little meaning.

    All that is left is a set of prescribed behaviors that turn the relationship into a dry and unsatisfying connection.


    Psychotherapy can help you manage shameful experiences in your relationships by:

    1. Helping you understand the difference between feeling shame over being ‘weak and needy’ versus using support to master something that is difficult.

    Benefit: you develop a healthy balance between self-sufficiency and reliance on others. The balance ensures that your needs are taken care of, so that shame doesn’t have to be your driver.

    2. Helping you become more comfortable with the less competent parts of you before they become ogres that you have to slay with shame.

    Benefit:
    you are motivated to master and polish the skills that you feel ashamed of and want to hide. You become competent and no longer have to feel ashamed.

    3. Guiding to you towards a view of your learning curve that is step-wise, rather than immediate.


    Benefit:
    you don’t feel ashamed when you can’t get from A to Z in a matter of seconds. You see progress in the small incremental steps and feel pride and satisfaction in yourself.

    4. Providing a model of the way in which you could speak to yourself that is encouraging rather than critical and shame based.


    Benefit:
    you are less stressed and afraid of failure. You can learn and consolidate your relationship skills, practicing them without forcing yourself to be perfect every time.
     

     

    Copyright Jeanette Raymond, Ph.D.

    Call 310 -985 – 2491 and set up your appointment

    Learn to feel proud of yourself and enjoy healthy relationships

     


    Bookmark and Share